Ah. Whoops.

So, I must own up right now, that yesterday went completely down the pan food-wise.

I did something that I don't think I've done since getting back from Costa Rica, and I just stopped caring for a little while.

Firstly, I let a slow day at work and consequent boredom turn me to more snacks than I needed. Errr .... 2 cookies?? Did that really make the day pass any faster? No.

Then I let the world's crappiest journey home (3 hours and counting) mean that instead of talking myself out of the takeaway I'd been thinking of having after work, because I'd eaten the damn cookies and now didn't have any points to spare, I thought I needed a treat after a bit if rubbish day. Wrong!!!

Oh yeah, and there were a couple of snacks in the car on the way home. Calorie-controlled, and left over from the day (because I had the stupid cookies instead) but I was hungry by then!!

And I think somewhere after all that, I realised I'd blown the day, and instead of quitting while I was ahead, I topped it off with a glass of wine, a late-night slice of pizza and a couple of biscuits at the boys.

Genius - thy name is Sue.

Now, this morning, I feel the usual dieter's remorse, plus mildly physically food-hungover. It would be easy to say that I've completely humped this new Weightwatchers week on the first day, that I'm eating out at an Indian restaurant tonight and it's all screwed up and just give up and let go. However, then I definitely won't see anything I like on the scales next Friday.

So it's time to pick myself up (out of bed), dust myself down and get on with making this week as good as I can. Yes, today probably won't be great, but I've planned my food already and I'm going on a walk later, so I can at least aim for a break-even today or better. And there's no excuse that the rest of the week can't be good.

I haven't had a day like yesterday for a while. And I discovered something (again!) - they really aren't worth it.

But I am.

- Posted from my iPhone

Weekly weigh in

An absolute dead on stay-the-same. I thought I'd be disappointed, but actually I'm not too bothered.

I've not been perfect this week, but I've not been terrible either. I'm in roughly the right place, but there are always things to work on and improve. For one thing - not blowing it in the pub on a Thursday night.

I ended the week with a deficit of under 10 points, which is pretty much my happy place. I also went to bed at 2 this morning for a whole 4 hours sleep after some drinking ... funny enough I'm a little tired today.

This weekend I've got a birthday celebration tomorrow night and I'm sure the rest of the plans will come together as and when.

The immediate plan is to get through the weekend relatively unscathed, and without a massive points deficit to start the week.

Happy weekend, campers!

- Posted from my iPhone

Staying afloat

Hi guys,

Man, I am totally struggling to find time to get on here and write at the moment.  Even this one is going to be a fly-by posting, before I dash off to fall into bed!

The good news though, is that my inability to find time to blog, isn’t translating into an inability to look after myself at the moment.  Despite my hectic schedules, my eating remains pretty much on plan – I’m even in positive points this week for a change!  Mostly, I’m falling into a pattern of having a little splurge at the weekend, and then on week-days, my eating is coming in below my daily points and with a few activity points to bank, without too much effort. 

I’ve developed an eating routine which is suiting me for the moment; cereal for breakfast, fruit mid-morning with the occasional biscuit or office cake thrown in for variety (although cake-wise I stick to mini-rolls or cookies, where I know where I am points-wise), a packed lunch bought from home, and a snack or two in the afternoon if I get hungry.  Generally, I’m feeling pretty hungry in the car on the way home, but often by the time I get home, I’m over the worst of it.  If I’m still starving when I do get back, I’m learning that often a smaller tea than I think I need satisfies me, as long as I eat slowly and consciously.  Fast food is my friend at the moment – by which I mean anything quick to cook, not greasy junk.  Some pasta, soups, half a thin-crust pizza.  Not quite as wholesome as I’m used to, but I eat healthy portion sizes, and decent quality with identifiable ingredients (not some chemically shitty substitute) and I top up with lots of fresh veggies on the side.  If I do have a take-away for some reason, chicken, prawn and vegetable dishes are my friends.  So yeah, I had prawn chow mein on Friday night, and Domino’s pizza last night (fyi – the Vegetarian Supreme, which I would previously have considered a poor second choice, turns out to be delish, and surprisingly friendly at just 3 points a medium slice), but everything is tracked and pointed.

Exercise is starting to make a reappearance too.  I felt so sluggish after the first week, when I just did 1 run, and last week was only 1 spin class so that wasn’t much better.  But this week I’ve already done spin on Monday and a gym workout last night (pre-pizza).  I would have been spinning again tonight, but I was foxed by the bus taking an hour to turn up this evening!!  Boooooo!  I’m also still walking the 20 mins each way from the bus to the office, so that adds a little extra too.

Saturday last weekend, was another tick on the list of things I’d never tried before, as I let myself be dragged off (not exactly kicking and screaming I might add) orienteering on the Malvern hills.  It turned out to be ace fun, especially as my friend Kath, whose been doing it since she was a kid, decided that “sore ankles” were a great excuse for her to jack in the tough blue route and come and teach me how to navigate on the novice orange route instead!!  Being fitter is such a revelation sometimes, when I don’t think anything of attempting to run round on the hills following a map, trying to find little orange control points along the course.  And run I did too.  Over the top of the hills, and down the sides.  We went off-path a bit too, so I was hop, skipping and a-jumping as fast I could through the undergrowth at times.  A year ago?  I’d not even have attempted that.  It was a only a short course, 2.7km on the official course distance (the absolute straight line distance control point to control point, start to finish), but I reckon with a short detour due to my map-reading and the usual zig-zagging it was closer to 3.5km to 4km.  We took 47 mins to complete it, as Kath let me do the map-reading and just gave me pointers on how to do it right, and acted as a sounding board for my route choices, but we came a very creditable joint 5th out of the 20 participants in our class.  I don’t care that some of them walked, some were kids / teenagers, and others were probably retired – the point is I felt fit enough to run it, and we came back in a time I was proud of.  And there was a bacon roll and a home-made rock cake devoured afterwards while we waited for Rob to make his way home from the blue trail.  I felt very smiley for most of Saturday.

In fact, my gloomy misery from Thursday pretty much lasted til Saturday and I think it was the mini-adventure that finally started to lift it.  From a place where I kept talking myself down (mentally at least), I started to snap out of it, and after one last wallow shopping in town on Sunday with Bec, I finally broke free and (mentally again) gave myself a good talking to about how pathetic I was being.  Muchos grazias for the all the nice comments by the way.  The thing is, I wondered whether to put that post up, even as I wrote it.  I wasn’t particularly looking for compliments and hand-holding – it was more that I thought “I bet other people feel like this too sometimes”, so whilst I could have hidden it from you and glowered in privacy, I thought I’d put it out there, so that anyone else feeling that way knows they’re not the only with negative thoughts occasionally.  And that is doesn’t last forever.

And finally:

On a completely different note – my life makeover is almost complete – I offered on a flat to rent today and got accepted!!!  I saw it online yesterday, in a building I already really liked, and booked to view today.  I’d pretty much fallen in love with it already just from the ad, but counselled myself that it probably wouldn’t be as perfect in reality.  I can tell you though, that I walked in and fell more head-over-heels with it than ever.  It’s a perfect central location in Bristol, in an old converted warehouse, so it’s got features like exposed brickwork, deep, deep windowsills, wooden beams and an amazing cast iron pillar in the living room.  It’s got parking, which is a miracle, and whilst it’s not huge, it’s so cute and cozy and comfortable, that I’m in love.  Even better, I’ll be able to walk to work once I move in (to my new swankier offices that we’re moving too at the end of next month), and there’s a gym right next to work (which I’m waiting to hear if we get corporate membership on).  Even if we don’t, I’m going to join, as I was looking at the class timetable and it’s perfect – tons of spinning, circuits, yoga, pilates, combat and kick-boxing, with classes before and after work and during the lunch break.  Amazing!  I’m so excited about how convenient that should be – imagine – it won’t matter if I’m doing something on an evening, because I can plan to work out in the morning or lunchtime instead!  Hell, I can even choose to run to / from work for a workout, looping round the harbour-side for a decent workout! 

For once, I feel like one area of life is falling into place.  Money’s going to be a worry until the end of the year I think, but I reckon I’ll make it.

Back soon for more tales from the scale (Friday).  We’ll see – I’ll take what I can get.

Mwah – patient readers o’mine.

Enlightenment

Sometimes you make an unwelcome discovery about yourself, and wonder how to deal.  If you’re of average appearance (well, I like to think so anyway), now of average size, average intelligence (I think) and average success – an all-round average person, then you must conclude that you’re total lack of attractiveness has to be down to a major character flaw.

We all know that losing the weight doesn’t make the problems all go away, but sometimes they force you to face something you’d really rather not.  I find I can no longer hide behind my weight as the reason I’m single, instead I must accept that it’s actually me that is unattractive.

That depressing point aside, I managed a lb off this week.  Something, but not all of last week’s gain, but then again, I did have quite a big deficit on my points this week.  Anyhoo, I’m continuing to take it a day at a time eating-wise, and I’ve allowed myself to be talked into having a bash at orienteering tomorrow morning, so check back for tales of running around (or staggering lost) on the hills.

Apologies for the up and down-ness of things around here lately.

Bumpy ground

I can’t believe it’s been a week since I last posted on here.  I’ve been monumentally rubbish when it’s come to the thought of posting in the evenings this week.  Partly through tiredness, and partly just because, emotionally speaking, I’m a bit low at the moment.

Therefore, excuse the haste with which I catch you up on the humdrum chaos that is life Chez Sue:

• Saturday was a quiet one.  Met some friends on the hills for a coffee and cake, and then a little stroll in the sun over the Herefordshire Beacon, before they carried on their way on their longer walk and I pushed off home.  Mostly spent the day chilling out, and relaxing ahead of Sunday’s run.  Met my school friend Koks and her boyfriend Tim in the evening for drinks, and then hit the sack for a fairly early night.
• Woke up excited, got in the car excited, waited in the queue of traffic for the carpark nervously at the venue, looked at the sun and grinned excitedly, found my friends, handed everything to Jo, who kindly looked after it all, and set off to run with 1,500 other people.  It was a beautiful day weather-wise, and the experience matched it.  The run was good, and although Hannah and I had low expectations on what times we wanted to get (1:20 for me, and sub 1:30 for her), we smashed them into little bits as we picked up 6 minutes in the last quarter of the course, and stormed home (for us), in a highly satisfying 1:12.  Crossed the line together, holding hands.  Big grins, big hugs, lumpy throats.  Went for lunch with Jo afterwards, and ate way too much (mmmmmm, ribs), but tracked the lot.  Debating entering for another run, but can’t quite make any decisions right now.
• Woke up Monday morning feeling sick after too much food.  Back on eating plan, and back to work.  Walked at lunch, and just squeaked home in time to make a spin class.  A gruelling epic of a class with 45 mins “heavy endurance” – I thought my heart was going to fall out my mouth and flop around weakly on the floor.  Done, go home, collapse.
• Long day at work on Tuesday, still on plan, then home for dinner cooked by my flatmate.  In a moment of weakness, I ate too much and drank too much.  Regretted but tracked.
• Lunch date today – I give up – men are off the agenda – clearly I’m doomed.  Food ok.  Go home, Bridget round for tea, chat a bit, late dinner, fall asleep.
• Long, long day at work today, and in the worst of moods.  Morning starts badly when I can’t find a damn thing that looks / feels good to wear, and end up being horribly late for work.  Make stupid mistakes at work and have to grovel.  Traipse across town to new offices for afternoon roadshow-thing and then back – at least I’ve had some sort of exercise today.  Food’s fine, but I find myself depressed and crying most of the drive home in the car.  Stupid, stupid thing to get in that state.  Stay home and retreat to my room to avoid people.  Flatmate’s stressing about finding a replacement for me when I move, but I just can’t find the energy to care right now.  Sleep needed.
• Not expecting much at the scales tomorrow.

One of the pictures from Sunday that makes me smile a little because I remember how good we felt at this point, around 8k out:

 

And definitely at this point:

Say whaaaaaat?

Hi,

My name is Grumpy McReallypissedoff.

Why, you ask?

Remember I said yesterday that I'd had a pretty good week of tracking this week, and had finished with pretty much no deficit, but was still a little nervous about the scales?

So guess what the scales did this morning?

3 fucking pounds. UP.

NOT HAPPY.

Still, I could have spent this morning hip-deep in recriminations, self-doubt, questioning and re-questioning where I'd gone wrong, and general, all-purpose whining.

I don't know why it's happened - could be I got something wrong with my pointing, could be the adjustment from later morning weigh ins back to much earlier ones, could be the shift from high intensity exercise to more walking as I've started work, could simply be TOTM or a backlash from that big loss a couple of weeks ago.

Who knows. What I do know is I can't let this set me back so the big girl panties are going to have to make an appearance. Suck it up. Move on.

I'm not sure whether to weigh in daily for the moment so I can monitor what's going on or keep going forward with weekly. Maybe see how it goes and what it looks like tomorrow.

- Posted from my iPhone

Pre-weigh in jitters

As always, when it gets to Thursday night, I get some serious nerves about the Friday morning encounter with the scales.  Part of me wants to know what they say, just in case they’ve got lower, and the other half is too scared to stand on them in case they’ve gone up. 

I haven’t a bloody clue what to expect this week!

Had a good day on plan today although I’ve eaten slightly more than I planned.  Still within my daily allowance, just not saving as many points as I intended, but I’ve offset that with more exercise than I thought I might have.  I went for another 30 min walk at lunch today (is this a new habit for me?  Who knows!), and talked myself into going for a run this evening, which I’ve been saying I needed to do all week.  Just an easy couple of miles this evening (I know, I said “easy” – crazy huh?), but at a fairly decent pace.  Is this what they call a “tempo” run?  I have no idea, but it felt comfortable, and I easily did the whole loop in one go, no breaks and with a pretty good pace for slow, little, ‘ol me.

Weightwatchers wise, I’m looking at finishing the week with just 3 points deficit – definitely one of the best kind of weeks for me, as I very rarely manage that kind of week, and better still, I’m pretty sure that that’s what I’ve actually eaten, rather than what I wanted to admit too, as I’m still making the effort to write down everything (stupid dry cereal again today – must stop doing that!). In theory, that would mean a kind response from the scales, but I still feel a little heavy and bloated, so I can’t say I’m expecting too much tomorrow morning.  I guess we’ll see!

On the plus-side, I can definitely recommend buying a pack of ready to eat mixed seafood from the chiller cabinet, gently frying a little onion and minced garlic, and Arborio risotto rice, slowly adding some fish stock (Knorr fish stock cubes how I love you!),a bit at a time, and adding the seafood and some frozen peas as the last of the stock goes in …. it makes a very tasty seafood risotto (with a little tarragon, and salt and pepper for seasoning) as a bargainous 4 points a portion – WINNER!  Eaten with very tasty soda farl and low-fat spread on the side.  Mmmmmmmm.

Sweet dreams, fellow Questers of Lightness ….

Still here … like the walking dead

This commute’s really taking it out of me at the moment.  I can just about cope with the getting up early, and I’m surviving the whole being back at a desk 9 to 5 thing, but not getting home til 7 at the earliest after a 2 hour journey is crushing my soul a little bit. 

I was trying to figure out why I’ve been feeling so crippled the last couple of days – listless, and picky and a bit down, but of course I figured it out today – TOTM just seems to have hit me hard this month.  I’m missing my proper workouts at the moment, but I’m just too done-in when I get home to contemplate them right now …. which is bad as I need a short run this week before Sunday’s Real Thing.  I’m actually considering taking my running gear to work and going out for half an hour on my lunch break, but I’m not sure I can face that either.  What I have been doing on my lunch break is walking.  Half an hour each day so far.  I’ve also swapped the bus-stop I’m getting on and off at for one further down the route out of town.  As well as being twice the walk from the office (20 mins each way instead of 10), it also has the advantage that it avoids the worst of the city traffic, so it’s marginally quicker too.  Without any other exercise, I’m finding I’m actively looking forward to my walks, which if nothing else are clocking me up a steady 3.5 bonus points a day.

Food’s about 90% of where it should be.  I’m probably eating a few too many of the chocolates from the communal tin (let’s blame the raging hormones for that, shall we?), but I’m trying hard to track every one of them.  Monday and Tuesday I had a few points to bank against my weekend deficit.  Today, I would have had, but then I had to be honest and write down the miniature box of 4 individually decorated fudge pieces that I savoured after dinner.  So that’s 1 point back on the deficit instead.

I can’t say how I feel about this week’s weigh in as it slowly edges closer.  In myself I feel a bit bloated and grumpy, and know I haven’t been eating as cleanly as I have in the weeks when I’ve been home, even though I’m still eating about the same number of overall points as I did on those weeks. On the other hand, my skinny jeans are fitting better than ever, and are virtually a perfect fit round the waist now, so who the hell knows!!??!

One thing that did cross my mind earlier, as I walked across the harbour this evening, was that this is the first time that my work colleagues have only known me as the smaller me I am now.  Someone who can run a 10k this weekend, and goes travelling to Central America, and wears a size 14 clothes.  It’s strange, because in some small way it feels like I’ve reinvented myself to be someone I’d be envious of.  And yet it’s still me. 

That’s kind of cool, don’t you think?

In other news ….

I started my new job today, and I’m pleased to say it’s all gone smoothly so far, and I’m not regretting anything yet.  They seem like a lovely bunch in the office, and although I was worried about the work all being completely new to me, I’m very relieved to find that everything makes perfect sense so far.

Food-wise, I’ve been pretty damn good today.  I planned everything out yesterday evening, and prepped my lunch, so I just had to pick it up and take it this morning.  It seems that, like every other office these days, there’s going to be cakes and chocolate lurking every couple of days to tempt me, but I survived today without too many problems, and I’ve banked a few points.  I didn’t make my spin class this evening, as I was back too late, and I suspect that might be the case for the next 6 weeks until I move, but walking to and from the office and running errands at lunch meant I did have some activity points to bank too.  It all helps whittle down the weekend’s deficit.

I’m aiming to do a short-ish run one night this week in preparation for the weekend’s 10km that’s now looming.  Other than that I shall either have to get out walking on my lunch-breaks or get myself in the gym / pool in the evenings.  I shall have to see how I settle into my new routine!

Gratuitous begging post

Now I know it’s not very subtle of me, but here I am begging for your hard-earned cash, if you happen to have any to spare!

Nooooooo … not for me (although, if you do happen to love me that much, I could maybe make an exception) ….. it’s actually for a very good cause.

I mentioned a couple of weeks ago, that I’d made the decision to do a 10k charity run to support my friend Hannah, who had herself signed up as a novice runner.  The run in question is the Ashton Court 10k, which takes place this Sunday 17 October in Bristol, and is in support of Cancer Research.

The more I thought about it, the more I realised that I actually have a great deal to thank this charity for, as my grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer 18 months ago at the tender age of 95, and thanks to the miracles of modern medicine, she was given the all clear earlier this year.  I’ve got no doubt that charities such as Cancer Research have gone a long way towards helping further those same treatments, as well as the tremendous amount of work they do publicising and demystifying cancer and raising awareness of it, helping patient and doctor to make a much faster diagnosis.

That was a couple of weeks ago and in my usual way, other things then got in the way, and I didn’t actually get round to entering the race and setting up a sponsorship page until today.  But here I am, now officially entered, several long preparatory runs completed, and just pointing out that there’s a handy link on the top right hand side of my blog to my sponsorship page …..

(It’s http://www.run10ksponsorme.org/suzannefontaine just in case it’s too far to drag your mouse all the way up there)

Have I mentioned how much I love you all recently?  No?  I should do it more often!

Begging over.  Those who were embarrassed may now safely open their eyes as we return to our usual program.

Shopping, yurts and puppies

It’s been one of those weekends, when anything can happen, and most of it does!

One thing I forgot to do, when I posted my slightly gloomy weigh in on Friday, was take my measurements and see how I’m doing on that side of things.  I got round to doing it on Saturday, and I was most surprised to see that my hips and waist were lower than anything I’ve previously recorded.  I can’t remember if I last did my measurements last week or the week before, but it just goes to prove that the scale is never the whole story!  Half an inch of my hips and nearly an inch of my waist put a smile back on my face.

Friday was a great day food-wise, as I waltzed into the end of the day with 3.5 points banked.  It was also a busy day, as I frantically baked birthday cakes for Jon’s celebrations yesterday.  One coconut cake and one chocolate cake later, and I had to rush back over to hospital to make visiting hours to see my grandma, and then back home to ice them before bed.  My grandma’s ok, but (and, oh the irony here) she’s in hospital because she’s basically not eating enough to sustain herself because (so unfair) her appetite has really dwindled away to nothing.  Unfortunately, I don’t think she’s really grasped this, and she thinks she’ll be out of hospital in the next couple of days, but realistically it’s looking like it might well be weeks, because she’s really not eating much more now she’s in hospital, and not walking every day is actually making her wobblier on her feet than before.  *Sigh*. Old age is cruel.

I was up early yesterday for a day-trip into Birmingham with Nia and Bec to hit the shops.  Unfortunately, they hit my wallet hard in return!  More nice stuff for work, and for the first time ever I’ve been able to buy fitted stuff from Zara and have it fit – wooohooo!  Mind you, I find it a little offensive that whilst I’m a Medium or Large in most shops these days, I’m a freaking XL in Zara, and even they come up small!  I just have to remember not to take it personally – those clothes are exactly the same size as my Mediums, etc, it’s just that they’re badged up differently.  I’ve definitely noticed my style getting more adventurous as I get smaller though – tucked in tops have now started featuring in my wardrobe and there’s a lot more feminine, girly work clothing appearing these days – my new colleagues had better appreciate all the effort I go to! lol

Last night was Jon’s party out at the yurts.  After driving a winding country lane, followed by over a mile of narrower private drive, we arrived at the bottom of a field in the pitch black with no clue where we were going to get there, and looking like pack-ponies with all our sleeping bags, spare clothes and food and drink.  After some wandering round like a herd of lost sheep (the real sheep were looking at us in a mighty puzzled fashion), we were rescued by a local and fellow party-attendee in a handy 4x4 who ferried us to the site.  Good job really, as it turned out to be a good half a mile of unlit and not very obvious farm track away across 2 fields and through a couple of gates!

It was a lovely evening with a BBQ flaming outside, wood-burning stove heating the main hut, and awesome tunes provided by the not-inconsiderable skills of Mix Master Moss (aka our friend Chris when he’s not behind the decks).  There was much hilarity, drinking games, chin-wagging with long-unseen friends, weeing in fields (strangely enough yurts don’t come with modern plumbing – just another experience to add to the list!), trying to figure out how I was so drunk, when I don’t remember more than 3 drinks, and finally stumbling to bed in the fabulous Moroccan painted beds that were handily arranged around the smaller huts. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Eating-wise I was over on points yesterday, but yet again, I’m pleased with my decisions.  We had Yo! Sushi again for lunch, and for a second time (in a week!) I made good choices and stopped when I was full.  I tried eel yakitori which was one of the special dishes, and it was amazing, and I had pumpkin fritters which were sodding lovely!  Vegetarian and fish dishes are low in points, so that was a winning combo, and I took a WW’s snack in my bag, for while we were wandering round in town which turned out to be a good idea, as well as a bottle of water.  When it came time to head to the supermarket to shop for my BBQ food, I kept my head screwed on.  Chicken breast instead of burgers or sausages, and I chucked in my cajun spice jar from home so I could just season them on the grill.  A pack of light cheese slices.  A small pot of couscous with roasted veg, and a potato salad, and I realised that would be more than enough, especially with birthday cake circling too.  I ended up swapping one of my chicken rolls with a friend for a small homemade burger, but for virtually the same points.  A small slice of coconut cake, and my drinks rounded it off.

The potato salad never even got touched.  Actually that turned out to be a good thing, because I had some for tea tonight and when I pointed it, it turned out to 11 points for the little box.  Yikes!!!  I could happily have demolished that in one sitting, but armed with the knowledge I had half, and put the rest in the fridge, to be portioned out over the next couple of days.

This morning was a little slow to get started as we were a bit fuzzy-headed.  I had a bizarre scavenged breakfast of a small amount of shortbread and a jam doughnut, as most of us forgot to put any kind of breakfast food in, and then there was the slow process of tidying up the site, packing the 4x4 with the BBQ and generators, etc, and walking all our gear back to the cars.  I was feeling a bit sluggish after that breakfast, so I jumped at the suggestion of going for a walk by the river in the sun and then going to meet a 7 week old Labrador puppy when my old friend Ben suggested it.  An hour of deliciously warm sunshine, and feeding the swans, and then rolling round on the floor with the cutest puppy you’ve ever seen was a great hangover antidote!

Meet Finlay:

In short – it’s been an awesome weekend, which I’ve thoroughly enjoyed.  I’ve got a points deficit of 18 to start this week. Tomorrow I start work (gaaaaaaah!), so I’ve already planned my food.  I’m just about to go and prep it now, before I go have a shower, and fall into bed to read for a bit and then an early night.

Wish me luck for tomorrow!

Judgement

The verdict’s in and it’s 0.5lb on this week.  12st 3.5lbs. 

In one way, I’m annoyed, as I’ve eaten less than I would if I was on maintenance, but this comes down to more what I’ve eaten I think, than the amount.  I’ve not eaten enough proper food in the last couple of days – missing meals here and there and eating snack food instead.  Coffee shops are my downfall, as I’m not very good at just having the hot drink, and not something sweet (and delicious) to go with it.  As I’ve been out running around all the time, I’ve been grabbing bottles of Diet Coke, but then not drinking enough squash and water to hydrate properly.  And I didn’t work out as regularly as I normally do.

Anyway – persistence not perfection, eh?  Today’s a fresh day, indeed a fresh week!  It will be All Change this week, as I start my new job on Monday.  I’ve got birthday cakes to bake today, and I’m going to visit my grandma in hospital again this afternoon.  Tomorrow is Jon’s 30th birthday, and just for something completely different, he’s hired some yurts in the grounds of a castle nearby.  I know!!  Crazy!  Apparently, they’re furnished Moroccan-style inside with hangings and cushions, and we’re having a big barbeque and fire-pit outside, and a friend’s dj-ing for the night. 

Tomorrow will definitely be my food challenge for the week, what with the barbeque, cake and free-flowing alcohol.  Great - time to plan, me-thinks!  And then Sunday, I’ll need to get my act together for the new all-commuting, all-working me.  Stock up on healthy snacks and fruit for the office, and get lunch sorted to take with me.  At least I’ll be getting at least 30 mins of walking each day to and from the bus, so I suppose that’s a little bit of exercise for me, if nothing else.

Time to go buy cake ingredients now!

Not very clever

Not very clever at all.  That’s what my food choices have been over the last couple of days.

Monday – good – points saved, spin class done.

Tuesday – errrr – good.  Survived the day in Birmingham with Caroline, including lunch at Yo! Sushi (oh my god – have I finally learned to rein myself in at this restaurant?) and multiple Starbucks visits, missed my circuits class, but all was still good.  Got stuck into researching flats to rent and flatshares in Bristol til the late hours …. and munched my way through a bag of Thorntons’ fudge while I did it.  I think I meant to just have a piece or two and then put it away, but we all know that’s not how it goes often.  Unless you take the bits you want and put the rest away out of reach.  Did I do this?  No.  Instead of a few points saved, a few points added back to the weekly deficit.  Boooooo,

Wednesday – again – not too bad.  Had lunch with Jo, then went over to the hospital to visit my grandma.  Spent a couple of hours with her, and helped her with her dinner, but missed dinner time myself.  Grabbed a Nutri-grain bar from the shop to tide me over.  Stopped off to catch up with Bridget on the way home.  A small piece of cake at hers (well, I hadn’t had dinner).  Still good on points.  Got home just after 10.  FAIL.  I still have huge issues with missing a meal, or at least the evening meal, even if I’m not hungry, so I went rooting through the cupboards.  First thought was beans on toast, which would have been fine, but instead I decided to be clever and go for an omelette instead, and apparently forgot how the points add up in those.  Again – should have been a point or so saved, and instead a few points deficit.

Blech!!!

This morning I had to be up relatively early for a couple of hours in my new office to meet the team and get the tour.  Slightly annoying to have to spend 3-4 hours commuting (yeah – pity me – that’s going to be my commute time daily for the next few weeks – ugh) for only a little while in the office, but nice to meet everyone before I start.  I picked up lunch at Starbucks on the way home – can I just say their roasted chicken and tomato panini is very nice for 5 points, and it’s nice to see a well-stocked fruit basket on the counter with fresh looking fruit in (I whipped a banana out of that there basket).  Being that it’s the last day of my Weightwatchers week, and that I’m also supposedly running a 10k in …. ohhh … about 10 days!!!! … I therefore thought a run was called for this afternoon.  I tried out an all-new route this afternoon into uncharted territory, and it was on rougher terrain than I’ve been used to – not just trails, but across fields, with stiles and gates to negotiate and a fair few big muddy puddles to skip, hop and jump round.  I ran just a little longer than last week – 1hr 5mins today, including surprising myself by running all the way up the hill by the house – I wasn’t expecting that!  I’ll prob only get in one or two short runs this week before next Sunday, as I’ll be back to working during the day, but I reckon I’ll be ok as I stand. 

****** Edit – just mapped my run on Gmap – 8.5km of cross-country, which a) I’m really pleased about – longest run to date, but b) more importantly – I ran 7.5km last week in 58mins, and 8.5km in 64 mins today – my pace is actually improving with distance!!!  Weird.  I don’t know whether to put that down to running with music today which is unusual for me?  Any thoughts? ******

So with the help of that run, I’ve at least managed to save a few points today (although I guess there’s still some time for me to cock it up if the last couple of days are anything to go by!).  I’m finishing this week with a not very impressive 17 point deficit.  Given I had such a big loss last week, I’m really not expecting anything great at the scales tomorrow, but let that be a lesson to me that I need to not just track everything (which I have), but also not stray too far from the beaten path that is Weightwatchers.

Expect tears and lamentations, or at least grumpiness tomorrow morning.  Apologies in advance for that!

Hungry girl

So here's the skinny, so to speak - if you let yourself relax a bit on the weekend and eat a few of the things that really take your fancy, if you snack a bit more than usual, and maybe eat a bigger portion than usual, then Monday becomes a struggle.

I have no on / off button that let's me switch instantly back in to full-on healthy-eating mode. For me, it's more like the throttle on a boat or plane that has to be gently revved up from idle to full beans.

Ironically, it wasn't as bad after the Great Bristol Restaurant Marathon last weekend, as although my points were high over the weekend, there was very little snackage, and it was more to do with the richness of restaurant cooking than huge portions.

I was struggling a bit yesterday, because this weekend's relaxation was more about home-cooked food and tasty little snacks and treats. My appetite yesterday was up, and I all I kept thinking about was damn food.

Maybe it would have been better if I'd planned my whole day's food up front, so I knew where the next meal would be coming from. Instead, I indulged in a few snacks at Dad's when I went over to de-clutter my old spare room. I snuck some left-over chicken foo yung off my flatmate's plate whilst I was waiting for my dinner - yes, clearly I still have some issues. I mean, seriously, I offered to clear her plate away when I was clearing a load of glasses to the kitchen, because I'd spotted it sitting on her plate and wanted some. That's some kind of fucked up eating (and yeah, I'm kind of ashamed to admit to it - no judging please!), but here's the deal - I pointed the whole bloody lot.

And then I took some strategic action to curb my eating for the rest of the evening. I finished cooking my healthy dinner, and deliberately cooked way more veg than I needed. Extra butternut squash and practically a plate full of marrow, onion and tomato (ratatouille-style - seriously yummy and free on WW). I loaded my plate as I usually would and enjoyed it. And then when I was comfortably full, but still feeling snacky, I went back and ate more veg. No space to snack. Job done for the evening.

I saved points for the day - maybe not quite as many as I'd have liked, as honesty dictated that I had to drop some points from spinning last night. I felt like I'd worked hard enough, but my HRM said less than usual, so I re-pointed it in accordance with that. Kind of annoying, but no point in denial. That won't help me at the end of the week.

I feel far more back to it today. Less snacky and more in control. I'm heading into Birmingham to meet the lovely Caroline for lunch and gossip. I don't get to see her often as she's based over in Brussels these days so it's always great to catch up. Light breakfast, and left-over soup for tea means I don't need to worry too much about lunch. I'll miss circuits this evening, but several hours walking around Birmingham will give me activity points anyway.

Tomorrow I'm going to visit my gran in hospital. Dad told me yesterday that she got admitted on Friday after her legs gave out, but they suspect there might liver failure. Poor gran! I keep hoping she's not feeling too scared (I would be) and lonely. I don't know why Dad didn't tell me on Friday or over the weekend, so I could have gone to visit sooner, except I know he was trying to protect me from the news. I love him, but sometimes I want to hit him over the head!


- Posted from my iPhone

What you don't know won't hurt you

They say (whoever "they" are) that what you don't know about can't hurt you. Maybe that is true of some things - if your co-workers earn more than you, what people sometimes say behind your back - ignorance can be bliss. There is one area however where what you don't know most definitely can hurt you. And that's food.

Most of us who are dieting got where we were by not understanding what we were merrily shovelling into our mouths. We probably knew that some of the food we were eating was bad but, if you were anything like me, what I didn't get was how everything added up and the cumulative effect it all had. What I didn't know was hurting me.

When I hit my 6 month weight-loss plateau from January to June, I unintentionally sabotaged myself because I started ignoring what I knew. In fact, because I stopped being entirely honest with my tracking, I stopped "knowing" what was going in my mouth and it did indeed hurt me.

I can't say I ate particularly sensibly this weekend. I've been lazy, had a few days away from the exercise, and eaten, if not wisely, then well. There might have been a box of chocolates eaten over the course of Friday and Saturday, a Chinese takeaway on Friday night, a few glasses of wine, and some fish and chips today (although I did have to walk over the hills and back for those).

But that's the beauty of this healthy eating malarkey. I can eat what I choose, but as long as I take responsibility for it, I can still get where I want to go. I've written down every bit of bad food I've had this weekend, clocked the points deficit I now have (actually not terrible) and having enjoyed the lot, I shall now return to my regular program of healthy eating for the rest of the week.

Happy weekends, guys.

- Posted from my iPhone

O. M. G.

Well, that was more than a little bit unexpected!!  There I was, fearfully prodding the scale with my toe to switch it on this morning, and then doing that funny screwed-up hopeful face that kind of winces and says “Please be something down.  Even just half a lb” – yeah, you know the face – as I waited for it to register me.  Open eyes, look at numbers.  Look at numbers again.

12st 3lbs.

Not half a lb.

3 and a half lbs.

Bloody hell!!!

So much more than I hoped for!  I’ve crashed through that 4 stone barrier by 3 whole lbs, and I’m so totally at my new lowest weight to date!!!!!

*squeeeeeeeeeeeal*

Back in the real world, this means that I’m going to have to be extra good this week, and even then I think I’ll be lucky if I lose anything or stay the same, because my body doesn’t usually let go of large chunks of weight like that easily.  So that’s cool, and I accept that.  I’ve switched off any expectations for next week, and just intend to carry on sticking to the plan.

If you have a look on my goals side bar on the right, you’ll see that I’ve finally been able to update that last one for 4 stone (yay!), and I’ve added my next mini-goal, which is only a lb away, which is 12st 2lbs, or 170lbs – 60lbs lost, and only 10lbs to go til goal.  After that, I’ll be heading for that 12st barrier, and looking to see an 11 on the front of my weigh ins.  That’s a massive thing for me, because a) it feels so close to the end, and I don’t think I expected to get there in some ways – it feels like a huge break-through to be edging so close now, and b) I have never seen an 11 on the front of my weight before!!!  The first time I remember stepping on a scale was in 5th form at school I think (maybe 16 or so), and there was a 12 on the front then, and it’s only ever gone up from there.

One step at a time though.  I expect this bit to be slow, but if I can keep it slow and steady and keep creeping forwards a tiny bit at a time, I’ll be hugely pleased with myself.  I absolutely do not expect any further losses like this one – I can only think that it’s because I’d eaten a heavy meal last Thursday night, and I didn’t last night, so it’s showing a bit of a catch-up loss.  Whatever – I’m am hugely chuffed with myself.

4 weeks since getting back from Costa Rica, 4 losses and 6.5lb lost.

Not got much planned this weekend (which is good as I’ve not got much money to do it with), so no excuses for any big derailments.