HMPH!

Sorry to be back so soon, but I've a few things I want to say to myself, and I might as well name and shame myself publicly.

After I did my earlier post, I updated my own personal weight tracker that I keep. And I'm not happy with myself. In the last 7 weeks, I have lost a miniscule 1.5lbs. That is SHIT.

What in hell am I playing at? Not losing weight, that's for sure.

My overall average weightloss per week (ignoring the bumper 3 weeks when I first started as they skew everything) has dropped right down to a measley 1.1lbs a week - way, way down on where I started out, and seemingly continually getting lower.

My getting-to-goal date has shifted back from sometime in November, in time for holiday, to sometime about New Year, and has now disappeared off the end of my model and sometime into next year.

Nope - definitely not a happy bunny. I seem to have lost my zeal to do everything absolutely right. I still do ok points wise, but I don't plan like a used to, and when I save some points, I let myself use them on empty calories. Actually, on that point, too many of my points are getting used on empty calories and "treat" food, full-stop.

I know that we can't be perfect all the time, and that to strive for that is to set yourself up for a fall, but I'm in danger of falling back into old habits and just eating diet alternatives instead.

I've obviously got another holiday coming up which is liable to be another set-back. Another 10 days when I won't be able to point or track online. Won't be able to blog, and will be tempted to get sucked into the "holiday eating" mentality.

I'm walking a fine line between balancing the relaxing of my eating vigilance with my exercise which is still increasing in intensity bit by bit. But if this last week's anything to go by, I'm sometimes stepping over the line, instead of walking it, and I don't even realise it.

I don't know if this is compacency, because the weight does keep trickling away, or tiredness because I've been at it consistently(ish) for over 7 months now, or because I've become a bit more comfortable with where I am now, or something entirely different, but I need to get a handle on it.

I'm also sure I've written this post before, and yet here I am writing it again. I don't want to fall in the trap of falling off the wagon, and then posting about how I'll start again for the eleven-ty millionth time, and you guys reading it and just shaking your head thinking but she won't, will she? I read too many blogs like that, and they're depressing.

Nobody can do this for me, except me. So I need to get up off my ass and do it properly.