I'm baaaack!

Evening troopers!! How's it going? Missed me much?? Even noticed that I wasn't here? Oh well, you've all got your own lives so I'll forgive you, but in any case, I have returned from my brief sojourn to Norway. And it were right lover-ly!!!

We have walked, and walked, and walked a bit more these last couple of days. So if that doesn't earn me some brownie points I don't know what will! But, on the flip side, I've also been off the points since Thursday, and there's been some cake, dinners out, McDonalds (I know - but we were starving and there was literally nowhere else open because we arrived in Oslo at 11pm and promptly got lost) and pizza at the airport, so it's hard to say which way things are going to go!

I should have weighed in yesterday for a normal week, but it's now going to be tomorrow morning - stay tuned to find out what happens! Running's going to be a bust for the rest of this week, due to injury (again!), so I'm going to have to get creative with my exercise for the rest of this week so I don't just sit on my ass. I'm doing one challenge that ends in 2 weeks time, with a mini-goal of getting to 13st 13lbs (my halfway point to goal), so let's just see if I can't make it anyway, never mind what gain I have tomorrow.

And if you want the full story on what went down in Norway come have a look over here ...

Oh - and one final thing ... I realised today, as I was stumbling along to the bus station to leave Oslo, with my massive pack on my back and grumbling how heavy it was - that it was actually lighter than the amount of weight I've lost so far. Now that REALLY puts things in perspective. This is my pack, which is a 65litre pack and was weighing at about 12kgs. I've lost nearly 15kgs to date.

Confession time

"Uh-oh " I hear you say. What did she do?

I'm a little embarrassed to say that I rather slipped up last night. Normally, if I over eat it's a conscious decision to do so, usually with a recovery plan already in place, or else it's completely out of my control (not so often) in that there's literally nothing else available. I can't claim any of that for last night though, and can only admit to a plain and simple lack of self-control and will power.

Somewhere in the middle of all the packing, I got persuaded to go along to girl's night at Becs' for a little while. I'd already eaten my healthy food for the day, and stayed just within my points, but the temptation of the goodies out on the coffee table proved too much, and I caved. I think I was aware at the time of what I was doing, but just adopted a "sod it, I'm virtually on holiday now" mentality. There were 2 tubs of those gorgeous little chocolatey nibbles from Marks & Spencer, nachos, and fresh raspberries. It started innocently enough with me thinking I'd just have one each of the M & S nibbles - a miniature rocky road and a miniature chocolate roll. Then I grabbed a few raspberries. That would have been fine, but for some reason I didn't stop there, and also had some nachos, and more of the nibbles. I'm not entirely sure how many of those little bits of chocolately goodness I had in the end - I suspect about 3 of the rocky roads and 4 of the chocolate rolls - if I assume that they're probably about 2 points each, and then add some points for the nachos, I would conservatively estimate that I consumed about 20 points at Becs' house for no apparent reason. I wasn't hungry and I wasn't particularly craving salt or chocolate.

This whole episode annoys the hell out of me. I knew exactly what I was doing and just shoved the thoughts aside. I'm not by nature a binger, or at least I never thought I was, but if my estimate of points is right, I just consumed nearly an entire days worth of extra calories and fat in the space of a couple of hours, and I wasn't even hungry. The most annoying thing is that if you actually put what I ate on one plate, it would easily fit and wouldn't even look like that much - how many people all over the world are doing this every day?? Not realising that those tiny little nibbles are so bloody deadly. It's an eye-watering insight into why we put weight on without even noticing where we went wrong.

This week is going to be hard enough with the trip away, without me making stupid mistakes like that. I went for a run last night which will be the last bit of proper intense exercise I do until I get back. I added an extra loop into my usual running route last night, which probably equates to just under an extra half a mile. Surprisingly, the whole run actually only took me about 5 mins longer than usual. My pace at the start felt a lot quicker than usual, but as a consequence of that I did need to take a couple of walking breaks to catch my breath (I think it was 3 in the end). Still, I'm pleased with my run, and it certainly knackered me out.

This will be my last blog until I get back from Norway, by which time I will have (belatedly) weighed in again. I fully expect to gain when I face the scales next Weds, since I'm still riding at a 2lb gain this week since weigh in on Monday; my challenge really is just to minimise that gain.

Hope you all have a lovely weekend, and I shall update when I return!

******

Edit - just checked the milage of the run yesterday on the Google Map Pedometer. This is seriously one of the best little tools I have found for checking out where and how far you've walked / biked on trips out! My normal run is 1.60 miles / 2.59 km. The additional section I did last night makes it 2.09 miles / 3.37 km, so it is indeed almost exactly half a mile extra. That's not too bad to do that in 25 mins.

Looking at things in different ways

The ever-wise Jack Sh*t commented on my previous posting, that if I was going to look at things another way round then I could also say I've lost 528 oz to date. Which ever way you look at it, it still looks like this:

Yep - that fish weighs 33 lbs, or 528 ozs if you prefer. Don't think I'd want that strapped to my back all day! (Aside from the fact that it would start to smell pretty awful and would make my clothes all slimey lol).

(please note - the use of a fish as a visual reference is not an original idea, and I must credit it to Bryher - another good idea for her!).

So if you want me to be more original, 33 lbs also looks a lot like this:

Yep - a bale of hay. I remember how heavy these suckers were when I was hefting them around the stable yard as a kid. It also weighs approximately the same as the frame of a mountain bike.

Whooop!

Sorry - I know this is really geeky, but I was reading Dietgirl, and she always posts her weight in kilos, and out of curiosity I wondered what my weight in kilos is now - 89.4kg. Under 90kgs! That just sounds so much better being in the 80's than the 90's lol. Now I've just got make the move to get under 14 stone :o)

Not enough time

I'm actually getting pre-emptive exercise withdrawal anxiety I think, about the fact that over the next 5 days my entire schedule is going to go out the window. How incredibly sad is that? Moreover, I briefly considered whether it would be worth me putting in some running clothes so I could do something while I'm away if I want to. And I'm feeling guilty that I haven't found the time to run yet this week, although I am desperate to try and make it to my spin class this evening.

I'm getting slightly annoyed with the scales this week - after 2 positively saintly days in which I have eaten just under my points and drunk plenty of water, they've quite determinedly gone up instead of down. Grrrrrr. Oh well, not a lot I can do about that other than just grit my teeth and keep doing what I do.

The Great Pack commences tonight for the trip - I have officially run out of time as I leave tomorrow morning. Whoops, although not entirely surprising because that is how it always is with me!

Sunshine moments

All this good weather is making me noticeably cranky about having to stay in the office, when outside is looking so damned inviting. What I'd love to be doing right now is getting my ass out the door to run, to bike, to windsurf or just to walk, basically anything other than sitting in an office doing nothing. I find that the more exercise and activity I do, the more I want to doing. Just to be moving around, pushing myself a bit, enjoying the adrenaline and the rush of the fast stuff, or simply the feeling of my muscles getting a little stretch.

Mind you - I don't feel like that all the time ;o) Last night I was decidedly grumpy about having to go to Body Pump - probably because it was inside a studio and I didn't much feel like being cooped up indoors, even with air-conditioning. I didn't have much excuse for not going though since I already had to go to the gym for my final physio session immediately beforehand, so I did go along, but that didn't mean I had to be happy about it. I'm glad I did go though, as it's the only weights workout I do during the week, so it's not as easy for me to catch up on it later in the week, like it is for cardio.

I was meant to be doing work that I'd bought home from the office last night too, but by the time I'd go back from physio and then Pump, and then had cooked and eaten something, there wasn't exactly a lot of time left. Still, I don't feel too guilty about that.

I'd like to be spending some more time out on my bike whilst the weather's so fantastic, but I've still got to fix it after it's last outing, so unfortunately that's off the cards at the moment. Hopefully, I'll get a chance once I'm back from Norway, and then I can do some more Friday afternoon singletrack / trail sessions when every other poor sod is still cooped up in work :o)

Food-wise I'm going ok at the moment, since I'm quite happy eating a wrap or jacket potato and salad for dinner in the hot weather. I'm just dreading the mad scramble over the next couple of days to get ready for our trip. All social stuff has been cancelled for the next couple of nights, so I can sequester myself away in the flat and try and sort through the bombsite that is my bedroom in search of the bits I want to pack.

On a side note - my positivity has gone through the roof recently. Not only do I feel like I can achieve all my weight loss goals at the moment, but really that the worst of the battle is done. In a strange tipping from glass half empty ("oh my god - I've still got so much more to lose") to glass half full; approaching the half-way point in my journey has had the weird psychological effect of making me feel like I've done all the slogging up the hill in the first half, and now it's a downward coast to goal. I don't know if this is just because I will very shortly be in the situation of having less to lose, than I've already lost, or if it's because I never really thought I'd even get to this point and now I'm so close to that magic halfway point, and I'm actually enjoying the benefits of my losses already, as well as not finding unfeasibly hard to stay on track. Whatever it is, I like it.

And just for the sake of listing them, so that I can look back when I'm not feeling so good, here are some of the benefits I've reaped so far:

• I can run for 20 mins continuously. I can complete a 5k distance in about 45 mins or thereabouts, and most of that is running.
• I can do a full plank, not a cheat-y kneeling one. I haven't tried full press-ups yet - I'll let you know the next time they turn up in Body Pump!
• I've dropped somewhere between a size to a size and a half in my clothes. This means that new shops and brands are opening up to me to choose from.
• I can see changes in the mirror that I like.
• Most photos don't automatically make me cringe now. Even when they're unflattering, I'm slowly coming to terms with myself.
• My confidence is soaring on the up. As a result I feel more able to put myself out there and risk things even if they might result in me looking stupid. And yes that does include potential rejection from guys - I haven't made a move and put myself out there yet, but I'm getting to the stage where I'm now feeling that I might be able to next time someone takes my eye. Lol (I'll be sure to relate that disaster to you when it happens!!)
• I actually can't wait for Egypt to roll round, because I'm now feeling confident that by then I'll have made plenty of progress and can't wait just to get out there on the beach and on waves and hammer it.
• I'm in love with my legs again - skirts are back on the agenda.
• My back is really smoothing out - somewhere along that path, somewhere in the future, lies backless tops - something that was on my goals for this year a couple of posts ago.
• I find my positivity affecting other parts of my life. My success and progress with this has made me feel like I can change other aspects of my life that I'm not happy with. I'm making a renewed attempt at sorting out my money woes (something I tend to talk about on my other blog rather than here), and I'm really considering what I want to do with my career; I'm even considering the frightening possibility that it might be a complete change of career path.
• I feel excited about the possibilities of life again - rather than mourn the things I've missed out on so far, I just want to put things right.

I shall stop there for the moment, because I need to get back to my work to meet my deadline for today, but if you haven't already got the general gist .... I feel pretty good at the moment.

Weigh in, measurements and the weekend dissection

Weigh in first - I lost 2lbs. Yay!!! Still a shade above 14 stone, but I'm still pootling along in the right direction.

Measurements - I seem to take these at completely haphazard intervals. This time it was prompted by the start of the Summer Challenge that Ang is running over at Get Fit After 40, and if I'm going to do the challenge I should do it properly with the measurements as well as the scales. So since I had the tape-measure out anyway, I thought I'd update them on here (numbers in brackets are the previous measurement):

Hips: 44" (46")

Lower Waist (at belly button): 43" (44")

Upper Waist (at narrowest point): 36.5" (39")

Chest: 44.5" (44" - don't know if this because I had a different bra on this time!)

Upper Arm: 12.5" (12.75")

Thigh: 26.5" (26.5")

There are some losses in there since last time which is great, but I think the nicest thing about those, is that for the first time, my hips are smaller than my bust - wooohoooo!!

On the other hand my waist measurements need some work as all the running and biking is taking the weight off my hips and not my waist - I'm going to start looking like an egg on legs at this rate!! lol

And so, finally, down to the weekend. I have a confession to make - I got to Saturday, and honestly I didn't think too hard about points. Hmmm ... I know .... not the best idea I've ever had. It could have been a lot worse, as including the over-run I had on Monday at the picnic I finished the week at 19 points over, but I did indeed drop the ball. Actually, I take that back, because I've just thought of something else I didn't point up - DAMN!

After my lovely lunch on Friday with my Dad, I was up super-early (for me) on Saturday to tootle off to London. I had breakfast before I went, but I think that was the last thoughtful piece of eating I did until Sunday morning. I met one of my school-friends for lunch in Clapham, where we sat in the sun sipping vodka tonics and munching on a panini for long enough that my shoulders were decidedly pink. Strolling to and fro across Clapham common was about the most exercise I did, although I loved how good I felt about myself in my lovely knee-length denim shorts, gladiator sandals, loose-ish vest top, trilby hat and sunnies (and a healthy smattering of chunky jewellery!), even next to Koks whose a size 8 and 5 foot 3 if she's even that!

Back across the common to the boys flat after lunch, grab some more long, iced vodkas and I settled in to watch the rugby with them and pretty much stayed in that position on the sofa all evening right through the party! I never even got changed into the nicer clothes I'd bought along for the evening or put any decent make-up on, which is rather unfortunate since I later found myself happily chattering away (and drunkenly talking complete bollocks) to a rather lovely guy. lol - always the way.

Yesterday was better - straight back on the points, and even managed to wangle in a pub dinner with dessert in the evening without completely stitching myself up.

On my way back from London, I detoured to Bristol to swing by the Snow and Rock store there. Turned out to be quite an ego boost! I wanted a new waterproof for Norway, and some walking trousers. I didn't find the walking trousers, but when I tried on the size 16 North Face jacket that I wanted, it turned out to be massive, so I got a size 14 instead! I know it's just because it's cut really big (and indeed the reason I didn't get trousers was that they were all cut really small), but it was still lovely buying something with a 14 on the label. I also got slightly distracted by the cycle shop there, and thought I'd have a peek at the cycle shorts as I've been wanting a pair of baggy mountain bike ones for ages now. I thought it would be quite a traumatic business buying them, but the first pair I tried on were a perfect fit in the 16. In fact they're cut so loose, and the fabric is so stretchy that if they'd had a 14 in stock I'd have probably tried and got them instead so they'll last longer, but it wasn't to be. Still - I have my lovely new shorts, and I can't wait to try them out. Think I'll probably be living in them over the summer as they also double up as decent looking general outdoors shorts and I should make the most of them while they fit!

Also bought a new bike helmet to replace my slightly battered one, and a new drinks bottle for running, as well as random miscellaneous spare parts for the bike that I needed. An expensive but altogether satisfying shopping trip.

Since I'm off on my trip on Thursday and the first half of the week is going to be pandemonium whilst I try and pack and organise last minute stuff for the trip and navigate my way through month end at work, I'm just going to try and eat sensibly each day until I go and get in the exercise where I can. I've also got to go for my final physio appointment tonight (ouch - going to be expensive!). Once I'm away, I'm going to be away from the internet, so I'm just going to have to wing it. I'm not going to stress it too much - just going to try and make sensible choices and not go nuts because it's holiday, and hopefully there'll be loads of walking and cycling and possibly some swimming to offset that.