Ooops!

Let me tell you a little story, about a good little Weight Watcher who was doing oh, so well, until she went to her Daddy's house for dinner. And then it happened. Dessert. Sigh.

Story of my life that! My dad, Lord love him, is at heart, a feeder. He's never really happier than when he's fussing over people, and able to offer them nice food. Especially cakes and desserts. And I'm such a sucker for rhubarb crumble that it would take some Herculean-style effort of willpower for me to say no. And Hercules I ain't.

Luckily, this story isn't all doom and gloom because I had points saved for this week already, and since I was still a few points short when I got home and added it up, I shoved my swimsuit and a towel in my bag and pottered off to the pool for 30 mins (and 30 lengths), to collect a few more.

Oh yeah - and at least I said no to the fudge that was offered apres-pudding!

Other than that, it's been another good day lol.

Physio Appointment

And thank god for that - tomorrow evening I'm off to see Kate, my trusty physio. I've given up waiting for the NHS to remember me and my "urgent" referral, and I know Kate's good because she straightened me out (literally; and then she made me touch my toes again) in January after crippling myself snowboarding. I can't wait - even swimming tonight I could feel horrible cramp-i-ness in my left ankle and (weirdly) ass-cheek, and this whole episode is just beyond tedious now.

So I'm quite sure she'll lever me into some ridiculous and wholly uncomfortable position and laugh at me when I whimper in pain, but I'll feel better afterwards. Kate's hilarious - she's really posh and swears a lot, usually whilst wrapping your leg round the back of your head or something equally weird, all whilst telling some crazy anecdote about her family life, but she sure gets results. Well worth the money.

New Toys!

I'm such a big kid when it comes to shiny things - I get all excitable! So I was very pleased earlier today, to receive an email to say that my new heart rate monitor had been dispatched - yay!!!

I've wanted one of these for ages, and I've been umming and ahhhing over cost and what to buy. I finally settled on a Polar F6, which has the option to transfer your work-out data from the last 12 workouts onto your computer and save online for comparison over time - hopefully, I'll be seeing some progress!

It's also got audio-visual alarms if you want to work in a set heart rate zone, which will be great for this aerobic working out that I'm meant to be doing as part of the gym challenge. For me, my zone is 115 - 135 for my body to be burning fat rather than gycogen, so the monitor will really help me target that.

I've been thinking about everything I've been reading, and been told, about aerobic and anaerobic exercise, and I'm thinking one of the things I can do to mix things up is to try and get a bit of both in the week. At the moment, pretty much all of my preferred work outs are anaerobic - spinning, running and combat are all in that zone. What I want to do is make sure I get a few lower impact sessions in the week. My intention to start yoga / pilates will fill in one session. Swimming is probably another one for me, and then I guess more walking would be good too. I'm quite enjoying the whole circuits class at the moment too, so I might look into whether there are any of those around that I could do.

Anyhoo - I was really pleased because I managed to pick this baby up for just under £50, when it should be about £80 or £90 full-price - bargainacious!

And there you have it - half way through the week already, and wondering where the time's gone!

Weigh in

I'm feeling a little more sane this week. I'm back on track - 2 good days in the bag, and after circuits on Sunday, I managed to make it to spin last night. I didn't go at it full pelt like I usually would, but I found I could do most things without aggravating my various injuries too much.

Even so, weigh in yesterday showed a small gain of 0.5lb. Pretty much the smallest gain I could have had, but a gain none the less - can't escape the scales when you've been over-eating pretty much 6 days out of 7 of the previous week. It did occur to me yesterday to check my diary though, which partially explained last week's temporary food insanity - I must have PMS'd my way through the latter half of the week without realising it, which multiplied the effect of my doom-and-gloom over everything else. Ah well - as I say - normal service has now been resumed.

I've also decided to bite the bullet and book some private physio again. I've got less than 6 weeks before windsurfing, which will be a pretty rough week on my body, so I need to get myself sorted out, and clearly waiting for the NHS to forgive me for missing an appt (through no fault of my own) and give me another one is not going to work. That and the fact that I'm still eating painkillers like their candy, and I'd quite like to have a stomach-lining left when I get old and disgraceful!

Feeling a bit more like the old me

Just got back from circuits which were good, even if there are definitely still things I can't do. Most of the static exercises like squats, press-ups and crunches were fine, but I've still got tightness in my hamstrings, as proved during the shuttle runs and alternating lunges. I was kind of thinking I might be ready to go back to running next week, but maybe not just yet. It was good to get a sweat on again though, and I've booked in for spinning tomorrow, even though I'm just going to take it easy.

I've also bought 2 new bikinis and some board shorts for the beach - can't wait for them to arrive so I can see how they fit and get some motivation to keep going.

I'm having a bit of an inadvertent cleansing day food-wise, as my appetite seems to have deserted me. I'm not pushing it though, just eating some healthy stuff as and when I feel hungry ... and on that basis, I'm off to make some soup now for later.

Damn BBQ's!!!

First off - thanks for your kind comments yesterday - I was receiving them throughout the day on my iPhone and it kind of acted as a nice reminder: that I'm not alone and to just keep trying above all else.

I thought I had a pretty good handle on things yesterday. I had a sensible breakfast (cereal), a healthy lunch at a friends house (scrambled eggs on toast with some baked beans) and a plan for the birthday BBQ we went to last night. Unfortunately, when I actually added it up in my tracker this morning, I was proved completely wrong - 14 points over - arrrrrghh!!! Proving yet again that I sometimes get it completely wrong with the numbers even though I'm an accountant!!! :o(

To look on the positive side though, it could have been a lot, lot worse. Originally, we had been going to go out for lunch as well, so at least we had made an effort at being healthy at lunch by staying in. My plan for the BBQ was to have no more than 1 of any given thing - so no multiple burgers, or hot dogs (in fact I only had 2 things off the BBQ) and to make sure I loaded up on salad-y stuff. Actually looking back, I've just thought how I could have been better - since they were serving jacket potatoes, I could have skipped on the bread rolls - why didn't I think of that at the time??? Must store that for future reference!!! I didn't drink last night either, so that's good, although I did have a cupcake, and then a small slice of b'day cake.

No use dwelling though, right? It's done, and today is a fresh day. I've planned my meals already. I'm going to the gym for a (very careful) session with the challenge group this afternoon. I will keep plugging away at this until I get it right!

I'm not sure what the scales are going to say tomorrow morning (eeeek), they're a lb up at the moment on last week, but then I did eat late (and too well) last night.

Told you I struggled losing more than 4 weeks in a row didn't I?? Maybe this is my own special form of self-sabotage! lol

Other than that, we went to see Fame at the cinema yesterday afternoon, which I liked, but kind of wish had actually been a bit cheerier, as it quite gloomy in parts. We also had a mooch round town, but I didn't see anything that really caught my eye in the shops. I want something nice and transitional for the Autumn, and I also need to get some new board shorts and bikinis for holiday in 6 weeks, but of course those last 2 items are long gone from the shops by now! I'm going to hop on line and order some now - that'll be motivation to keep going I guess - 6 weeks before I hit the beach again!!

Struggling

I'm slipping this week. I haven't managed one day actually sticking to points - not one. Granted most days I've not been ridiculously over, but I've currently got a shortfall of 15 points for the week. I don't want to slide off plan, but my focus isn't there this week so far. I start each new day thinking I'll get it right, but it hasn't happened so far. Not having my usual plethora of activity points to run over into isn't helping either, nor is that fact that, frankly, I'm feeling sorry for myself.

I'm so frustrated with my body at the moment. I just want it to be healed already so I can get on with stuff, and it so fricking weak instead.

I went out shopping on Thursday night with Bec, and while it started out ok, after 90 minutes wandering round the shopping centre I was feeling pretty sore. I went to bed aching, and didn't get a great night's sleep, and then managed to oversleep yesterday as a result. It felt like such a setback, after it felt like it had all slowly been getting better. Of course, getting up late also put my schedule for the whole day out, as I got to work late, which meant working til later, plus I then had to do overtime to get something sorted - long story short, I didn't get home til nearly 4, and was starving since I hadn't eaten lunch by that point. I scrapped the leisurely bike ride I had originally planned - firstly because I had much less time than I'd anticipated, and secondly because I was still feeling sore.

Bright idea - I'll do some gentle yoga in the flat instead, and just try and loosen myself up a bit. I gave up after the first run through of Sun Salutation, as I'm not kidding, I couldn't get through any of the transitions, and could barely hold any of the positions. I am so not better. I tried just doing some of my physio stretches, but they either don't target the right area, or are so bloody painful it's hard to do them and continue breathing.

By the time I went down to Bec's for tea last night to watch Strictly Come Dancing (which incidentally, I am completely addicted t0), I was so totally sore that I just wanted to cry. I'll tell you how bad it was - it was cold at Bec's place as the heating isn't on yet, so she lent me some thick socks to keep my feet warm - I could barely lift my feet to put them on, and that was when I was sitting on a chair. Just great.

Is this why I ended up consuming about 8 points worth of chocolate before and after dinner last night?



I don't know. But I did. In fact, I almost sneaked the chocolate before dinner - I was cooking stew in the kitchen while Bec packed for a weekend away, and there was no one around to see. I was absolutely starving, so I raided 4 chocolates from an open box of Roses in the cupboard. I can't explain why, but my natural inclination was to hide that, especially when I heard Bec coming back down the stairs. I just totally felt like a guilty child, caught doing something I shouldn't be. I know I'm not the only one who does this - I was reading a post of Jen's a couple of days ago, talking about the same thing, and knowing I'm not the only one, I thought I should break the cycle, so I just yelled to Bec that I'd pinched some chocolates as I was hungry - kind of felt liberating actually.

So there was those chocolates, then Bec had put a Cadbury Twirl on one side for us to have for dessert after the stew - so I had half of that, and then she said help yourself to the chocolates in the box on the floor. I didn't initially, but I did have two before I left. What can I say about all that chocolate - I practically inhaled the ones in the kitchen. I was so hungry, that I barely tasted them - pretty much wasted. I savoured my Twirl, and the other two from the box. I'm still annoyed with myself though. For not stopping when I ran out of points.

It's been the story of this week. I get frustrated with my body, and I take it out on the food.

On a side note - pretty much all my friends have left for a long weekend in Munich this morning, to go to Oktoberfest - the humongous beer festival that happens every year. I can't go because of stupid, shitty working requirements that mean I can't take time off at a month end. Although it's a beer festival, and I don't actually like beer, I'm still sad not to be going, as it's going to be something fun that I'm missing out on, and I hate being left out.



I couldn't go in anycase, since I am currently stony broke, and have zero leave left, since I've already had about 6 million holidays this year. Did I mention that I booked my windsurfing in Egypt earlier this week? In just 6 short weeks, I shall be flying out for a week at the beach, with perfect windsurfing conditions every day. I'm telling you now - I have to be fixed by then!!!! No two ways about it! We're going in luxury this year - 4 star superior, baby! Whoop!

I'm digressing aren't I? Ok, positive thoughts. I'm an all or nothing kind of girl, which is why I'm struggling with this exercise situation at the moment. If I can't do it hardcore, there's no point doing it (in my mind anyway), and I know my body is nowhere near ready for that. Well, here's something to help me. For the next 4 weeks, we've been given a chart from the gym challenge. You know the stats you hear everywhere about 5 lots of 30 mins activity every week - well we've got to log it for the next 28 days. But the log is interesting, because it includes all sorts of things I wouldn't have thought of like housework and cleaning, gardening, and just plain old walking. So, I'm going to try and change my mind set - stop chafing at the bit about what I can't do, and just concentrate on getting 30 mins of something I can do in.

And I'm going to start yet another day and see if I can get the food right this time. Luckily, the scales aren't going against me yet for my indiscretions, but neither are they travelling downwards.

Enough already

I went over points yesterday. I freely admit it, although I'm not proud of it. I had one of those days when I was easily distracted and just couldn't seem to get enough food. Practically zero work got done, and my emotions fluctuated all day. I have these days intermittently - it feels like I've just zoned out a bit, and I'm about half a step out of synch with everyone else all day.



Part of it, I think, comes down to my still virtually non-existent activity levels. When I'm exercising regularly, I feel hyped, focused, energetic and happy. The first couple of weeks of injury, aside from feeling frustrated and and a little bit stir-crazy at not being able to leave the house really, I didn't notice any other downturn in my feelings from the lack of exercise. But I think, now I'm out of that initial "I hurt" period, I'm noticing the side-effects of prolonged laziness. I've not been getting out into the fresh air. I've not been getting into the brightly lit studios with loud rhythmic music and the shared sense of adrenaline and achievement.

The less exercise I do, the more sluggish I feel, and the less I feel like I want to do any. I finished work last night and made excuses not to go swimming - my shoes had developed a hole in them, so I had to stop at the shops after work and get some new shoes. Then I ended up hosting friends round at ours last night, so I had about 20 mins between getting home and them arriving to grab some dinner and tidy up. No swimming.

So how about a compromise - I won't do anything tonight, but I will do something tomorrow afternoon. I was going to go to Body Balance tonight, but honestly I feel so tight that I don't think I'd get anything out of it - I doubt I could reach my knees right now, never mind my toes. I will however ask my friend to book me in for next week's class and I'll work on getting loosened up by then. Tomorrow afternoon I'll get my bike out and head for a gentle ride up the hills. Fresh air, sunshine, some time to myself, and exhilarating views. I'll take it steady and opt for the gentler inclines and stop to rest if I need it. But I will go out.

The other part of yesterday's meh-ness was my food I think. I looked at it, and at the last couple of days - carbs, sugar and artificial stuff, not enough fruit and veg. There were too many snacks yesterday, and then I found myself unwilling to say no to homemade pizza which the boys bought round for everyone last night. I'd already had my dinner, so I wasn't hungry, but the willpower was lacking. Or the will to use the willpower. It wasn't the worst over-eat - 9 points over, but it was unnecessary.

Today, I'm eating fruit - lots of fruit. I had yoghurt and fresh raspberries for breakfast. I had a banana and a nutri-grain bar mid-morning. I've got a nectarine for a snack this afternoon, but I've eaten a good solid lunch, so I shouldn't feel too empty. I'm going to Merry Hill (huge shopping centre) after work with Bec - she's shopping and I'm returning stuff - so at least I'll be strolling round all evening, and away from the fridge. I'm going to make soup over the weekend and get back to my veggies.

I need to boost my energy, and not with caffeine either, so it's back to fresh foods, fresh air and exercise. Fingers crossed, I'm going to be able to start spin class again next week too!

Cardio training last night

Honestly, I'm a little bit disappointed with the session we did last night. We spent the first 15 mins talking through stuff - multi-tasking though, which I liked, as we did it while sitting gently spinning on the circle of bikes that the spin class use.



We talked through some basic nutritional stuff, and the approach that this challenge aims to take - basically, that just food or just exercise isn't enough - that it needs to be a balance to get the most efficient loss. I'm absolutely in agreement with that, although it is stuff I already know. We then went on to talk about working in your fat-burning zone for maximum weight loss. I vaguely know about this - how you have percentage zones of maximum heart-rate which are supposed to be optimal for either weigh loss (mid-range) or cardio training (high zone) because the body accesses different energy sources - fat stores vs glycogen etc. The instructors have worked out our optimal heart rates for fat-burning activity based on our ages and weights and other mystery stuff - we were all told our individual numbers and then the aim of the session was to go and do 30 mins continuous exercise in that range on a piece (or pieces) of cardio equipment that we wouldn't usually use.



And this is where I get disappointed. Because for me, my max heartrate to stay in the zone was just 135 - at 135, I'm barely breaking a sweat, and am in no way out of breath. I was expecting the session to be a real calorie-burn ass-kicker, and instead I got a walk in the park. I kind of feel like I'd wasted a session. I like getting really hot and sweaty in my cardio sessions - things like running and Body Combat, or even a spin session, so it seems completely counter-intuitive to me to be going so slow. I guess this is another way in which this challenge could really force me to shake up my thinking. Since I'm now resigned to the fact that I need to start doing Body Balance / yoga / pilates to try and strengthen my core muscles and support my back, I guess I'd be really interested to see what sort of average heartrate I come out with during an hour long class.

I'm going to be buying some toys over the next couple of days which I've wanted for a bit, so I'm quite excited about that! Going to be getting new headphones for running, the Nike clip-on pedometer that will then link up to my iPhone and provide me with Nike+ data, a sports armband for my iPhone / iPod, and a proper Polar heartrate monitor. I luuuuurve geeking it up with new toys! One of my goals for the 6 week challenge is to take my resting heart-rate now and then see if I can reduce it over the next 6 weeks.

Food was fine yesterday, and the scales have bounced back down again today. Ankle's feeling sounder, although my muscles are still tight, tight, tight from the gym. Hopefully, I'll go for a quick swim or walk this evening to get some activity in, and then I'm going to slob at the boys house and play geeky board games with them ;o)