Ahem – Don’t Take Your Eye Off The Ball

In the interests of being completely honest, I suppose I should confess that whilst the weekend started off pretty well, there was a slight loss of discipline along the way, and I’ve used a few more points than I meant to.  I’ve used my flex points for the week, plus an extra 8.  Since I’ve already activity banked for the week, including some walking and the Friday torture that is circuits, I’m still in credit points for the week, but not as good as last week.

I’m not quite sure where to lay the blame for this slip …. probably mostly at the doorstep of my Dad’s house since he will insist on leaving fully stocked biscuit tins and open bags of sweets lying round the joint, which is enough to test the most hardened of dieting souls.  There went an extra 15 points on Friday night, which would have solved the deficit for the weekend all on their own!

Then there was yesterday, which was spent very pleasantly wandering around Bourton-on-the-Water and Broadway in the Cotswolds.  Unlike Friday, when I had allotted myself 29 points which I stuck to perfectly … until I got to Dad’s, I gave myself an extra 20 from my flex for yesterday since I knew I’d be eating lunch out and that there would probably be tea and cake later.  Again, this was all going swimmingly, until I discovered upon returning to Dad’s that he’d picked up a bag of fresh cookies from his own day out.  One of those got scarfed down, and I was in danger of going back for more, before I realised that actually they weren’t that amazing and I wasn’t even sure why I had my hand in the bag. 

Today has been a bit better, although I still didn’t hit my 29 points challenge.  But there were definitely plus points to today’s eating behaviour.  I went for a wander round the Harbour Festival for a couple of hours when I got back into town this afternoon, and let it be noted, that despite it being dinner time, I didn’t purchase from any of the million food stalls around.  Mostly, I kept looking at them, thinking “oooooooh, that would be nice” and then realising that actually it wasn’t anything that special, and in any case, the prices were extortionate!  I returned home with a small bag of homemade fudge instead, and a gorgeous little ceramic bowl and saucer for olives and their stones.  I may have eaten the fudge instead of tea.  In fact, that would have been fine, but I just got so hungry at 10pm, that it because necessary to grab a little something, so that’s where the challenge went a bit wrong for the day.  However, I’m happier with my choices, and my leaving eating until I was actually hungry.

Back to the proper discipline tomorrow then.

I leave you with me enjoying the glorious sunshine at Broadway Tower:

 

Friday Feelings

Surprisingly, I'm not nearly as grumpy as you would expect after this morning's weigh in.  You would reasonably expect, at least some, wailing.  Maybe a little tearing of hair and beating of the chest.  But in actual fact, I find myself oddly ... sanguine about it.

The facts are that this morning's weigh in sees me 0.5lbs up on last week.  Yep - after a week of sticking like glue to the Weightwatchers plan, passing up cake and putting caramel waffles in my locker out of sight and mind, exercising when I should be (including a hideous session of hill sprints with running club on Wednesday - sheer torture if there was ever any), I have put weight on.

Go figure.

But I went to the scales suspecting that, this morning.  I felt in myself that I hadn't lost any weight.  And I reminded myself that I can't control the scales.  All I can do is control the way I eat, and the way I move. 

There are a number of reasons that the scales haven't gone anywhere (apart from up and back down) this week.  I suspect the main answer is this:  last week I lost 2 and a little bit lbs, after eating atrociously for a week and a bit or more, culminating in a rather unlovely binge type meal of Chinese, and then about 3 days of eating properly.  Seems to me that there was some water-weight losses going on, since I lost around 5lbs in those 3 days from my high point, and maybe I didn't quite lose what it appeared I did.  In which case, it would be very reasonable for my body to be playing catch up this week and actually losing that weight in terms of fat rather than water.

I shan't let this affect my eating - I'm straight onto another 29 points today.  A clean week.  A fresh week.  I figure I need to keep eating like this for at least 3 full weeks to allow my body a chance to divest itself of some unwanted poundage.  Last week was my first full week.  At the end of the week, I'd used my flex allowance, but not touched on my 45 activity points earned.  I'd like to aim for the same again or better this week.  So for the next couple of weeks, I'm going to keep challenging myself with my eating, and keep the exercise moving as usual.  If I've been honest, as I believe I have been the last 10 days or so, and the scales are still not showing any movement by that point, I'll consider that maybe a new approach is needed, but until then, I'm going to make the biggest and bestest effort I can to stick to the plan.  and I can suceed, I know that.

Kick Ass

I am proud to report that I kicked my 29 point target for today in the arse. Which was a bit of a surprise since it was looking somewhat in jeopardy following lunchtime. Lunch was a very tasty jacket potato with sausage, beans and grated cheese, that tracked at a whopping 19 points - but soup for dinner and a nice box of prepared fresh fruit or dinner saved the day.

Running club, on the other hand, kicked my ass. 45 mins solid of hill repeats in some rather lovely, humid weather. Flippin' heck - I was raining sweat afterwards! But I survived. And impressively, survived the trip to the supermarket on the way home. It seems the longer I stay glued to plan, the (slightly) easier it becomes to ignore the siren call of all the beautiful things in Waitrose that I shouldn't have.

And finally, talking of kick-ass people - I met Jason Gardner, the Olympic athlete (and indeed gold medal winner) today. Complete with his gold medal! My work happen to be one of the biggest sponsors of the London Olympics, and they're holding a "torch tour" at the moment, which is a travelling exhibition about the Olypmpic torches and some of the history of the games, which is coming to each of the major office sites. Today, it was in Bristol, complete with 3 of the actual torches from the Beijing, Vancouver and London games and an Olympic athlete who very kindly stood patiently and let us all have our photos taken with him and the London torch. It was pretty cool. There's a massive amount of hype about the games at work, and lots of competitions being held for tickets to the games and chances to actually carry the torch and Olympic flame, and I have to admit that I've been tuning a lot of it out for the most part, but even I have to admit that today's event was fun and interesting.

Good day all round. Well, apart from the money-shite earlier, but I'm kind of over that now. I'm no worse off than I was this morning, it's just that something that would have helped didn't come through. I'll survive though, because I always do.


- Posted from my iPhone

So Frustrated!!!

Why is it that I can't catch a break with trying to get my debt sorted?  Yeah, sorry, this post has nothing to do with food and healthy eating at all, just venting my frustrations at how hard it is to dig yourself out of the money pit, and how no-one will cut you a break.

Everytime I try and find a way to make my situation better so I can pay back my debt quicker, I take a step forward and end up sliding straight back again.  This time it's because the interest free credit card that work set up for me, has been set up wrong, and is less than no use to me.  It was set up with a £500 credit limit, and was supposed to be increased as soon as it was activated, so I could transfer a balance from one of my existing cards.  But I've just been told by our relationship manager here at work, that cards can't have the limit increased within the first 6 months.  So I have a card with a 12 month interest free period on it, but I can't have the limit increased to anything usable to make a transfer until 6 months into that.  6 months! What fucking use is that?

Additionally, I still don't qualify for a loan.  So I'm still stuck scraping by trying to make the minimum payments and chip away at the balance where I can.  I know it will get better.  I know I could be a hell of a lot worse.  But I'm not making any decent headway at the moment;  I'll be lucky if I pay £2k off my £22k balance this year.   Which at the rate I'm going would mean another 10 years after that to get the balance paid down.

Ok, ok, that's just unrealistically pessimistic.  Because I know that what's making it such a slog at the moment is that I'm losing more than half of my £500+ repayments a month to interest.  That's just sickening.  And yes, as I slowly claw the balances down, that interest portion will become less and less.

But the truth is that I'm scraping by in my day-to-day living to keep afloat right now.  I can't keep up my lifestyle as I'm used to it.  I know that's the problem, that I've been living beyond my means for probably 10 years now, and I don't know how not to.

So what lies ahead for me is this:  either bumping and scraping along on my current budget, with frustratingly slow repayment and an agonising amount of interest being paid, or some serious decisions to make positive changes to my lifestyle.  Changes, that let's face it, I don't really want to have to make.  The biggest of those is to give up my beautiful flat and move somewhere shared and cheaper.  I could save £100's a month doing this, but it's scary.  I love my flat - it's comfortable, and pretty and perfectly located.  And it has private parking and a bike store.  It's completely convenient.  Moving somewhere else will mean sharing my space with a stranger, and fighting for car-parking spaces on the street.  A longer commute to work.  And a less well-appointed surroundings.

Holidays have already been given up, I just can't afford them.  I already sacrificed my car for the cheapest option I could find, and although I admit that has turned out pretty well in terms of economy, I miss having a decent sized engine.  Next to go might be my shiny mobile phone.  My contract is up for renewal next month, and I'm wondering about just sticking with my current iPhone with the cracked screen for the foreseeable future and going SIM only.  That would be another £15 a month saved. 

There's not many other bills I can easily give up - my gym is pretty crucial to my health and weight-loss, and I already have a pretty cheap one.  My contact lenses are non-negotiable.  As is my Weightwatchers subscription.

I would say I don't know where to go from here, but I do and it makes me anxious.  I just have to bump along for the next couple of months making the best I can of it, and then I'll have to bite the bullet and look for somewhere new.  The only other thing that could save me right now (apart from the extremely unlikely possibility of a lottery win) is a promotion and pay-rise, but I don't think there'll be one in time to save me.

It's time to knuckle down, people, and pay the piper.

Dear Scales

Dear Scales,

Stop being a bitch.  I've eaten immaculately all week, and yet you are showing me nearly 2lbs heavier than my weigh in on Friday.  I am not amused.  I know you don't like me looking at you, so I promise that if you give me even a tiny loss on Friday, I will leave you alone for a whole week.  Deal?

Ta,

Sue



Yeah - not happy - focus on what I can control.  Focus on what I can control. 

Grumble grumble.

Mistakes and Lessons Learned

Lesson learned no 1:  always check the points and portion sizes before you tuck in.  I was craving something sweet mid-afternoon, and the caramel waffles from the Starbucks downstairs were hitting the temptation spot.  I checked the points on my tracker: 5, very reasonable.  Went and got my waffles (and a banana, in case I was still hungry), and just as an afterthought checked the portion in the packet against the tracker ...... phew!!  Thank goodness, I did - a WW's portion is only one of the waffles in the pack, not both of them.  I enjoyed one, and with a not-too-Herculean effort of will, put the other one safely wrapped in my locker.  Good.

Mistake no 1:  opening the muesli box whilst waiting for the dishwasher to run so you can cook dinner is no better than opening the cereal box.  Error.  Don't go there.  Point it and move on, but know that it has cost me my little points challenge of 29 for the day.  Grrrrrr.

Lesson learned no 2:  when full, stop eating.  Miraculously, for the second time this week, I've managed to stop myself before the plate was empty.  I guess nibbling on the muesli had already filled me up a bit, but this is still a rarity for me.  I quickly binned the remaining bits to stop me picking later.

Lesson learned no 3: (not a food one, but a lesson in self-discipline none-the-less) if I want to stick to my weekly budget and be able to pay a little tiny bit extra off the credit card next week, it's not going to kill me not to go on my regular Tuesday cinema outing tonight.  The only film that was out that I wanted to see was Horrible Bosses, which will be out for weeks to come yet.  And I realised that part of the reason I wanted to go to the cinema was so I could have my little weekly indulgence of pic'n'mix or Ben & Jerry's.  That's not a good reason to go to the cinema!!!  So I'm going to have a night in a watch a film here.

3 lessons learned, and one mistake that won't kill me but is annoying anyway.  I'll have just missed my 29 points challenge for today, but only by about 2.  Since I haven't used up all of my flex points yet this week, and I've already got 30-odd points of activity tracked, I'm not exactly worried, just slightly irritated. 

But onwards we go!

Some Kinda Alien

has taken me over.  I was in the canteen at lunch trying to decide what to have after my soup and a roll for lunch, and I looked at the crisps, and I looked at the yoghurts (errrrr, work yoghurts are a sodding 4 points each - tasty, but no frickin' way!), and I looked at the chocolate and I ended up with ....

.... an apple.

Seriously, send the men in white coats to come and take me away.

Ooooh, which reminds me (canteen, lunch, soup - keep up with the thought processes, people!), does anyone have a recipe for Lentil and Bacon soup?  Work makes an amazingly tasty one and I want to know how!