Positivity

I have to confess to feeling a little under the weather at the moment. Not because of illness, although I do have that annoying closed-up feeling in my throat that signifies I may get a cold soon, but because of my back and life. Whilst I was away in Africa, my back injury flared up once more. Nothing as bad as it has been previously, but it was sore. And it kept being sore. 5 weeks later and it's still bloody sore!!

I decided last week that enough was enough, and it was time to seek out the help of a physio, but up until yesterday it just didn't feel like I was making any progress at all with it. After physio last week it felt worse, which she'd warned me it might. I also mistakenly indulged in a little dancing at the weekend at a black-tie party we were at (at the urging of friends) and even that 20 mins caused a significant increase in pain on Sunday and Monday. Honestly, yesterday I wanted to cry as it's just been going on so long now.

On top of that, last week ended up being a solid week of eating out. I was dodging restaurant meals where I could, but it was still one takeaway, 3 restaurant meals, a dinner party and a night out drinking .... and by the end of that I felt rubbish. After the first two meals, I realised how many more were still to go and did my best to minimise the damage, but I still felt horrible by Sunday.

So here we find me, feeling bloated and over-salted, and grumpy from pain, and fidgety from lack of exercise. The sun and Spring has finally made some kind of appearance and I'm too stiff and painful to do anything about it ... I've been scared to exercise for fear of making things worse.

BUT ... I've decided that I can't let any of that define me. I can't magically cure my back, so I have to just give it the time to heal, and there are still things I can do. The physio's suggested gentle swimming, cross trainer (carefully) and some walking, and I'm allowed to try Pilates and see how that goes. I have no more eating out / drinking dates this week, so I'm back in control of my food. I don't have control of everything, but I do have control of some things and I can take advantage of that.

And today? I feel a little less bloated, and my back feels a little less painful. Baby steps in the right direction.

Having said that, I may skip weigh-in tonight .... I don't think I need to see that number on the scales!!