This lesson has just been bought home to me, that while people might smile to your face, some of them are just as likely to be sniggering behind your back sometimes.
Here's what has just happened. There's a lady called Jay who works in my office. She's very much on the larger side, and personality-wise she's quite loud and mouthy - although I've never heard her say anything nasty about people and she's always been perfectly nice to me. However, every so often I hear other people in my office muttering snide comments about her - about how she's always first in the buffet queue and other mean stuff. I hate that, and I stay out of it. She doesn't really help herself as she does eat a lot of the wrong stuff, and makes lots of jokes about food, like asking our Stateside boss where the jellybeans are when he visits, but still, that's no reason to victimise her.
Jay's chair just broke. Snapped clean in half from what I can work out (I sit at the other end of the office). And you know what most people in our office did. Laugh behind their hands. Walked up to my end of the office under the pretense of something work related and sniggered by my desk. I hate that attitude. It's so damn mean, and hurtful. If that was me, I'd be so damn mortified I'd want to cry, and seeing other people being not so subtle would hurt like hell.
Why is fat funny? And not in a nice way. And why do people think we're not sensitive about it, just because we hide our feelings and put a brave face on an incident like that. Why is it ok to joke and point and pick on us? It makes me trust the people I work with a little bit less. They might compliment me on my losses, but is this what they do behind my back?
Unsurprisingly, the only other person who didn't find it funny was Fran, who has her own weight problems and agreed with me. I sometimes think everyone should have to be fat for a bit so they'd understand and be a bit more tolerant. It's not ok to pick on pretty much any other group of people, so why's it ok to pick on us?
I made a New Year's resolution that 2009 would be the year I would finally get healthy ... with the aim of losing 70lbs. That journey was the start of changing many things in my life for the better ... and I'm still on the journey!
Wednesday, 1 July 2009
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4 comments:
This story sounds like a scene from a movie. Oh, my gosh.
I never discriminate: I'll laugh whenener anyone's chair breaks and they fall down.
I wish that were the case, but if it had been anyone else they'd have had a quick laugh at their expense to their face and got on with it - not sneaked off to snigger together in private.
Sorry - the head has addled my brain. I described your colleague as overweight fat. I just meant to type overweight.
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