PSYCHE!!!

I think my scales are trying to psyche me out. Really. I'm not paranoid I promise.

I stepped on them this morning, and instead of squealing at me to get the hell off them, they said congratulations, you magically lost another 4 lbs over night! What? Did some come along and cut off part of a limb when I wasn't looking? That can't possibly be right. So I stepped on them again. And again. They said what? You think we're lying to you? We're hurt - as if we'd do such a thing!

I'm convinced the punchline will come tomorrow when I step on them and they yell SUCKEEEEERRRRR!!!!!!

So, aside from scale-related conspiracy theory paranoia, life ain't too bad. We had a lunch buffet at work yesterday. As usual, I think the catering staff misread the lunch request and thought there was another "0" on the end of the number of attendees - can't think why else they'd send up enough food to feed a small country of starving Africans. And all of it about a million calories a mouthful. Even the fruit skewers came smothered in hot chocolate sauce. Thank you catering staff, for successfully sabotaging my day. Really. It's much appreciated. I'll be sure to send you a Christmas card. Arseholes!

It also worries me that it is senior management's opinion that hard work deserves to rewarded with food. Seriously - we can feed ourselves, guys, you don't pay us that little. Give us something helpful. Money's always good if you're really stuck for ideas!!

After work, I went with my Dad to the theatre to see the fabulously smutty stage version of the equally fabulously smutty tv show 'Allo 'Allo. Until you've seen an gay Nazi lieutenant walk in on an English spy dressed a policeman apparently humping a French cafe owner, who is in turn apparently humping a blow up doll of Hitler, you've not lived, I tells ya! Yes, it's silly, yes, it's deeply un-PC (but who the fuck cares?), and yes, it's funny. Although it feels a little wrong to be sat laughing at things like that next to my Dad. And jokes about flaps and big choppers. But he was laughing harder than I was, so I figure it was ok!

And that was yesterday. I saw my flatmate briefly as I was running out the flat (late as always), and apparently we're talking again. By which I mean we were both super-nice to each other because we can't be bothered with confronting awkwardness. I'm so super-nice I even gave her my last two French Fancies. Does it get any nicer than that. Hmmm - use of food as a peace offering ... probably another habit I should cut!

Don't stop me now!

I got back to spin last night, after a whole 2 weeks away from the gym. It was good to be back, although I very nearly wasn't. It turns out that I can be a very mean person when it comes down to someone getting in the way of my exercise.

I was a bit short on time last night between leaving work, shooting into the supermarket on the way home to pick up some goodies for the girls and getting home, getting changed and getting my ass to the gym. I thought I was ok for time though and rocked up to the gym on the dot of half past. Note the empahsis on "thought", as it would appear that my watch is lagging behind time again as the class was already warming up and there wasn't a spare bike to be seen. They'd given my place away to someone else!!!

Roaring in frustrated determination, out came my inner bitch. Errrr ... I should probably just reassure you that the roaring was purely figurative and internalised ... I think actual roaring in the gym is probably frowned upon, and in any case, would be very un-ladylike. And heaven forbid that I should be un-ladylike. Could be fun though. Anyhoo - I marched up to the spin circle, smiled sweetly, and said in a (really) loud cheerful voice "Right - who was on the reserve list then????" whilst looking round with an enquiring expression, and a metaphorical thumb jerked over my shoulder to metaphorically add "in which case take a hike, buddy, cos you're on my bike!".

There was a (long) 2 second pause, before someone started to shuffle off their bike and walk away with their head hung low. Ok, their head probably wasn't actually hung low, but they did sort of seem to slink away. I will not feel bad though! Because, damnit, I was there to spin!!! Ruthless in the face of opposition. lol

I did feel the teensiest bit bad though, as I got on the bike, that I then had to announce that I wouldn't be doing any of the sprints / races in the class as I didn't want to jar my back again. So having booted someone out the class, I wasn't actually going to do 100% effort. But you know what - I booked that damn spot in the class, so THERE!

Class was good, although insanely hot - we were literally dripping sweat - and it was great to be back doing something active again. What surprised me is that even after 2 weeks of no gym / strenuous exercise, spin still didn't kill me. I actually really miss the days when it used to leave me staggering off the bike on jellied legs, trying desperately to catch my breath. Nowadays, I work up a sweat and feel pleasently used, but that's it, and apart from just hiking the resistance up to new levels, there's not much I can do to recapture that original feeling. I think maybe I need a new challenge. Aside from the running that is. Maybe Body Combat.

Away from the gym, things are ticking over nicely - I'm eating well and drinking plenty. And I clocked 8 portions of fruit and veg yesterday!!! Whoop! Aaaaannnnd .... halleleujah!!! ... the scales slid south of 14 stone this morning!!!

*Runs around the room doing weird celebratory plane impersonations like a 5 year old*

I ROCK!!!!!!

Just one minor glitch really. I had a bit of an unintentional barney with my flatmate last night, right before the girls came round, over the fact that she gave her boyfriend his own key to our flat and didn't even tell me, nevermind ask me if I minded. She basically threw a strop, and said it didn't matter anyway as she'd be moving out within six months (to go live with him, one assumes) and so I should consider this my notice to find a new flatmate.

Our little flat is being broken up, and I have such mixed feelings about it. I hate, hate, hate the stress of finding a flat / flatmate, as I've had such horrible experiences with it in the past. And I adore our current flat, because of its location, easy going landlord and of course living right next door to the boys. And until my flatmate started going out with her current bloke, she was ace to live with. I also have to admit though that I've not felt as comfortable since she did, and now look forward to times when they hole up down at his and I have the place to myself.

I'm not sure quite what I'll do next, as I can't afford to keep the flat on my own, so it's all really open-ended. I hate this shit - change, when I don't know what the outcome is, just upsets me. Stresses me out. Bummer.