Saturday, 31 July 2010

Breaking the plateau

Weigh in: 1.5lb lost

That in itself is good, given what the scales were doing mid-week. But it actually means something much better - I have finally broken through that damn 12st 10lb threshold that has been stopping me for the last 6 months. I'm back down to 12st 9lbs, leaving me with 3lbs left to go to get back to where I was at Christmas.


I'm having a quiet day today - no real plans, just thought I'd walk over to see Dad and spend a couple of hours with him, and then mooch back. I might wander over to see Jo and Lissa later. I'm kind of at a loose end this week - loads of my mates are away in Scotland on holiday - something I usually go with them for - and my flatmate is still in India on business til tomorrow, so I'm a little bit lost on what to do. Not the worst feeling in the world though - I've just been so busy for so long, that it's strange not having some instant deadline that I have to rush for.

Friday, 30 July 2010

Hangover hell

So, my lovelies, I am now officially an unemployed layabout, and soon to be surf-bum.


After a stupidly busy day yesterday, I zipped out the office a little early to go check into my hotel, tart up, and taxi back into town.

Long story short - I had a LOT of drinks bought for me - double vodkas, tequila slammers, beer, more vodka, cocktails, shots. I'm feeling faintly nauseous again just thinking about it! You've guessed it - without really noticing it, I was absolutely hammered.

At about midnight it all caught up with me and I called time and took myself off back to the hotel while I was still standing. A good job really as, without wanting to put you off your dinners, I was hideously ill shortly afterwards. I may have passed out / slept in the bathroom for a bit, before dragging my weary carcass to bed.

This morning?


Good grief - I've not a hangover like that for a good long time! I managed to have a shower but had to go and have a lie back down for another half an hour afterwards because I was so dizzy and nauseous. God knows how I made it into work and through the first hour or so!

I could hardly face eating, but I also thought part of the reason I felt so awful was I'd effectively not eaten since yesterday lunchtime, given I lost my dinner. I had planned on treating myself to a cooked breakfast this morning but honestly couldn't face it, so nibbled my way through a toasted teacake with butter and a bottle of fat coke instead. It still took me an hour to manage just that.

It is thus clear that I am an idiot. Having all my drinks bought for me last night meant I lost control of what I got and lost my usual pacing and intermittent non-alcoholic drinks.

There were plus points to the night - I managed to pick something healthy for my dinner, even though I was relatively sozzled by that point, and I didn't clear the plate - I stopped when I was full. I also had a great night chatting absolute bollocks with lovely people.

I've also left work with £50 of Cotswold Outdoor vouchers and two rather nice bottles of wine - good times!!!

The cakes made it to work yesterday, and although I was starting to panic that I'd gone completely overboard and made far too much, they were all gone by 3pm. Many, many compliments gratefully received - maybe I should open a tea trolley when I'm unemployed after my trip! :-)

It's been a stressful couple of days. Hell, it's been a stressful week, but I'm through it. Sad to have left my team, excited for the adventures ahead, and with a temporary sense of anti-climax- what-the-hell-do-I-do-now with my week off ahead of me.

Food the last couple of days hasn't been bad. I had one of my own cakes yesterday, but I pointed it. I was somewhere over points yesterday due to the never-ending flow of drinks put in front of me last night, and I've tracked that (as best I can remember), but I don't really know the true impact given I then threw up rather spectacularly a few hours later. Today's been fine too - I tracked my hangover breakfast, and I've just got to decide what to have for tea now.

Weigh in tomorrow - tune in for the tears and tantrums!

- Posted from my iPhone

Thursday, 29 July 2010

We are not amused

I'm having a tough couple of days. The scales froze after the weekend - stuck just below Friday's weigh in and not going anywhere, which I put down to salt after eating out since I was otherwise on my points.

I had a great food day on Tuesday and a really tough circuits class in the evening, so unwashed gutted when the scales shot up 2 lbs yesterday morning - literally so upset that I'm doing all this work and not getting anywhere. I was in positive points for the week, had worked out 3 days consecutively and I was up? How was that fair?

Still I plugged on. These last couple of days have been manic as I try to work out, see friends before I go travelling and meet work deadlines, plus bake all my cakes for work. I've been in the kitchen every spare minutes of the last couple of days, and past midnight 2 nights in a row trying to get everything done. So yesterday's food was brilliant until I got home. Unfortunately at that point, I got in after counselling, spent an hour in the kitchen working frantically, and then had to run out to meet friends and didn't have time to eat.

Instead when my friend jokingly gave me a bag of Haribo as a leaving present I ripped into it and ate most of the bag. I pointed it - 8 points for a whole bag (not as much as I thought actually) and I had pretty much all of it, so I tracked 7 points - not exactly the best day's food ever, although I was only 1 point over at the end of the day.

I felt terrible later though - back in the kitchen at midnight icing cupcakes, I massively crashed and nearly passed out. No food + Haribo + lots if diet coke = insane blood sugar hump.

Amazingly, I didn't rip into the cakes I was finishing - I packed them up and took myself to bed before I passed out.

Unsurprisingly after yesterday's food the scales haven't dropped any so I'm still stuck back up at 12 st 12 lbs again - not quite where I started 2 weeks ago - but massively frustrating as I've been on my points for the past 2 weeks and aside from yesterday I've been eating well and working out.

I'm STILL not giving up though - I'm eating lightly today because I have my leaving drinks this evening and we'll be eating out too. I've had one small piece of my own cakes which I've pointed. I've moved my weigh in day back to Saturday as I'm staying in a hotel tonight so won't have scales access tomorrow morning - I'll just keep trying to make this right.

- Posted from my iPhone

Tuesday, 27 July 2010


As you may have guessed from last night's post: yesterday did not go quite to plan. Grrrrrrrrrrr.

Work snowballed, and before I knew it I was stressed, anxious, eating a bit more fudge, and had missed my spin class at the gym.

Now I know when I'm on form with this healthy quest of mine, because not only am I pissed with work for stopping me doing something I wanted to do, but I'm actually upset and antsy at missing a workout and my daily plan getting screwed up.

I care enough that when I did get to leave, an hour late, I was willing to eat into my precious time at home to squeeze in a 20 min run, because anything that gets my sweat on is better than nothing.

I also cared enough to track the extra the fudge in (what a waste - 6 points of my daily 21 used on pretty much pure sugar), and adjust my dinner and cinema snacks to fit. I ate in a rush last night after a very quick shower, and then shot straight out to go get Bridget for the cinema, running late, but glad to have run anyway.

My juggling efforts meant I still managed to bank 1.5 points yesterday, which wasn't as much as I wanted but good to have done anyway.

The scales haven't budged since yesterday but then I haven't exactly made the best use of my points the last couple of days even though I've been on track - I'm confident they'll be moving downwards again soon though.

No sweets today, but lots of fruit. I was in work extra early this morning so even if I need to stay a bit late I've got time before my circuits class this evening.

Yesterday didn't defeat me, although it bloody well tired me out - today I've adjusted to avoid yesterday's mistakes.

I'm making today my bitch again :-)

- Posted from my iPhone

Monday, 26 July 2010


In the Beginning, there was Sue, and Sue joined Weightwatchers because she had a Plan. It was a mighty Plan, and it was to lose 5 Stone and get Healthy.

And Sue had the Will and the first Stone was lost, and lo, there was much rejoicing.

The Will was strong, and as the Plan progressed, Sue gained the Knowledge, and the Losing continued.

But slowly the Will faded, and though the Knowledge was strong, it was not enough and the Plan faltered and there was much disappointment (and muttering, and crying, and screaming and self-flagellation, etc, etc, you get the picture).

Lost in the wilderness of the Plateau, Sue kept going, for there was still Determination, and though it was not as good as the Will, it was enough to keep the Plan alive.

For 6 months, Sue wandered on the Plateau (it's a shame she didn't fast while she did it, it would have been more helpful), searching for the lost Will. She questioned her faith in the Plan, but it did not leave her, and then came the Trip.

And the Trip was mighty (for who wants to look rubbish on the beach?), and bought with it the Will to finish the Plan. So now Sue had both the Will and the Knowledge, and she was unstoppable. For the Will and the Knowledge together are Success.

And this is the Gospel according to Sue.


Some days are sent to try you - this was one of them. It tried, it failed, I win.

Owning it

Firstly, I just wanted to say thank you so much for all the lovely comments on my last post. The funny thing is that I logically know I've lost weight and look different, but it takes photos like that for me to be able to see it. And now to the proper post:


We are the masters of our own destinies - at least when it comes to our weight and our health.

The problem is that owning that destiny also means taking responsibility for it - something we aren't always prepared to do. When it's all good - oh yeah - look what I've achieved!!!! When it's not - man - it's not fair - I've got a shitty metabolism and I can't do anything about it - it's so easy for everyone else.

You know it's true. I know it's true. I just don't like admitting it. You probably don't much either.

It comes down to smaller things than that though. One of the things I still wrestle with is tracking crappy food when it's eating into my daily points. Call it denial, call it excuses, call it whatever you will - it's me not taking ownership for my own food consumption, and - as the last 6 months have proved - by extension, my weight.

So today, I OWN my tracker. Today I write everything on it, however much it eats into my points.

So if I've eaten fudge this morning (I have) then I'll track 4 points for it, even if that costs me a snack at the cinema tonight, or some of my bonus points from the gym.

I will be honest with myself. Doesn't matter who else I lie to, as long as I admit the truth to myself. That's what's got this ball rolling and will keep it rolling now.

I've come out of the weekend a fraction down on Friday's weigh in, but a lb up on Saturday - I'm ok with that though since I ate out Sat and yesterday and although my points weren't bad, there was quite a lot of salt and alcohol involved.

This week is going to be absolutely manic. I am literally not going to have a moment to sit down and chill, but I'm not going to drop the ball.

Part of the reason I'll be so busy, is classes booked at the gym today and tomorrow. Spin tonight after work at 6, and the brutal circuits class tomorrow at 6. I'm going to the cinema tonight with Bridget at 8.15. Wednesday night I've got counselling at 6, and then I'm meeting friends for drinks before we all leave for holidays. Thursday night I've got my leaving drinks from work, so will be out in Cheltenham and then staying overnight in a hotel. Friday I leave work. Somewhere in the middle of all that I need to bake cakes to take in on Thursday (a second break of the baking ban - hopefully I can survive it as well as last time).

Through all of this I intend to stay on my points, and earn some bonus points. Being that I'll be in the hotel on Friday morning, I'll weigh in on Thursday or Saturday.

It's going to be busy but I believe I can make this week my own.

- Posted from my iPhone

Sunday, 25 July 2010

Pictures, pictures, pictures ... and a little bit of history

So here we are, late as always with the photos I promised from the last couple of weeks!

Tarting around on the walk from the hotel to the 30th bash a couple of weeks ago:

Bec and Nia, showing how lovely they're looking when we slid out of the party to cool down for a bit:

Check out that food - super posh (and very tastey) canapes, and the cakes. Oh, the cakes!! All 130 cupcakes were made and decorated by a friend of birthday girl Caz - how amazing is that?

The party gets going as our friend Moss hits the decks (not sure what happened with the exposures here, but I love the effect):

Last weekend at Katherine and Dave's wedding. Our little gang hanging out in the sun outside beforehand:

The happy bride and groom - married for 20 mins:

Koks and Tim drag me in for a pic whilst the professional photographers did their thang:

One thing I notice about these photos - I look very smily and happy.

For a little contrast - I found these photos from Charlie and Nik's wedding in December 2008 - a month before I started Weightwatchers. I hardly recognise myself, it looks like someone filled me up with air like a balloon. What I remember though, is that I felt pretty rubbish that day, and I was so upset when I saw the photos after ... no wonder I found the momentum to get started.

Improving but not yet perfect

Hey kids,

So the story of this weekend is that I'm a few points over my daily limits, as I was last week, but the operative word is "few". Less, in fact, that last weekend, and that was the best weekend I'd had for ages.

It's been a challenging weekend in terms of Weightwatchers, so I'm mostly proud of how I've done. This is how it's gone down so far:

  • Friday - started well, but I received a last minute invitation to dinner with friends Kate and Martin in the evening. Pizza Express ended up being the venue selected, so I did a bit of digging on the menu online before I left so I knew my options. I was driving, so that prevented any drinking dilemmas. Luckily, it was actually Jo who rescued me in the restaurant, because everyone ordering before me at the table had got a starter ... arrrrghhhh ... throwing my plans right out the window!!! As I was frantically umming and ahhing over what would be healthiest, Jo ordered next to me, and announced that she wouldn't be having a starter, which neatly set a precedent and let me off the hook. Result - I ordered from the Leggera menu, and managed to save 4 points for the day.
  • Saturday - the plan yesterday was to go to a beer festival and summer fete local to us and meet up with a big group of friends. After a nice long lie in the morning, and a low points breakfast and tea, I walked the couple of miles to the pub for a bit of exercise with Sid, Sue and Andy. Having pretty much a whole day's worth of points to use, I was able to enjoy myself a bit, and had some chocolate cake and a roll from the hog roast and still be on track. Things went a little awry at the end of the evening though when the gang stopped for sustenance. I stayed in the car to avoid temptation from the chip shop / late night store - no chocolate or cheesy chips for me! Yeah right. I was fine until they put the bloody plate of chips in front of me back at the flat. 6 points over in the end.
  • Sunday - guilt is a great motivator to get your ass down the gym on a Sunday morning. Yep - 10 this morning I was sweating it on the cross trainer, followed by a self-taught spin session. I went off to meet the girls for a late lunch after .... toast with low-cal jam for brekkie, snack pack of pop-corn after the gym, healthy pasta with garlic bread for lunch .... and a sneaky dessert. Mmmmmmmmm - toffee waffles - soooooooo good!!! Not leaving me much left for dinner, but since we didn't finish lunch til 20 to 5 - I'm not going to need much. I've save a couple of points today, so I'm happy.
That's the weekend. We spent much of this afternoon sorting out packing lists for Costa Rica and transport arrangements for the first week. Just one week of work left to go now!!

Friday, 23 July 2010

Weekly weigh in

2.5 lbs off :-)

12st 13lbs last week and down to 12st 10.5lbs this week.

Measurements wise - my hips were the same as last week, waist and chest ever so slightly up, and arms, legs and rib area slightly down. Make of that what you will, but I'll keep tracking.

So I had 7lbs I wanted lose in this 3 week period - 7lbs I committed myself to doing the best I could to get rid of. That would mean I could be back to my lowest official weight of 12st 6lbs and 4 stone lost before I go travelling for a month.

Regular readers here (that's about 2 of you, right?), will note that I have been to this current weight of 12st 10lbs-ish numerous times over the last 6 months and that it's become the psychological sticking point that I can't get past.

The difference this time is that I'm not in a feast / famine frame of mind now. I want to continue tackling these next couple of weeks from a clean-eating, stick to my points each day perspective instead, and I've proven to myself that I'm capable of that this week.

Why the drive to get this done now, you ask? Several reasons:

I want out of this funk. It annoys me that I was being so successful on a long term goal, which believe me in my world is somewhat of a miracle, and then stopped for no reason. I have a point to prove to myself and I damn well will.

Secondly - that old friend or foe - vanity. I'm going on the trip of a lifetime and I want to feel good about myself and have great pictures to remember it by afterwards.

Lastly - the trip itself. For a whole month I'm going to be away from the scales, and out of my normal routine. No gym, no running, different food, holiday thinking with friends who might not necessarily egg me on, but won't hold me back either. I'm bloody terrified how much damage this could do.

I've been thinking about this quite a lot, because a month on holiday has huge scope for damage.

I'm certainly not going into this without a plan either. The current plan (well, rough idea) has a number of aspects to it. I want to get down to the lowest I can before I go - partly to give me a good place to start from, and partly so that I'm in the habit of thinking in terms of on-plan eating when I leave.

I plan to track in some form as much as I can whilst away. I'm still debating whether to take my iPhone with me or to leave it at home and take a cheaper handset in case of damage / theft. If the iPhone goes with me, then I can keep using my usual tracking software on here, along with the points calculators. If it stays at home, then it's back to old-school tracking in my notebook.

The point of tracking for me is it keeps me mindful of what I'm eating. I definitely want to try the local foods whilst I'm away, but I don't want it to become an excuse to go overboard at every opportunity. On the plus side, I tend to snack a lot less when I'm away with the girls because we're busy, and they just aren't big snack eaters. On the other hand, meals can turn into a bit of a free-for-all and they do like they're beer and wine. I'm not as keen on beer so that always slows me down a fair bit, but it's certainly something I'll have to watch out for.

Exercise will be tricky whilst I'm away. There won't be gyms where we're staying on the whole, and there certainly won't be space for work out clothes in my bags. Running is out due to no kit again, and also it not being wise to split up from a safety perspective. Plus the girls will probably get quite annoyed if I'm obsessive about diet and exercise on a month long holiday (which is kind of fair enough) so I need to take advantage of day-to-day opportunities. Luckily for me the girls are pretty active anyway, and aren't exactly the lie-around on the beach types.

The first couple of days we're there we'll be learning to surf, and then another couple of days a couple of week later - that should keep us moving. There'll be lots of swimming and mucking around on beaches to keep us cool and entertained. We won't have a car so we'll be dependent on public transport and our own two feet. There'll be lots of walking exploring places, there are plans to climb a mountain, go white-water rafting and canyoning - they keep us active too. If there are pools where we're staying I can take advantage to get a bit of exercise.

One thing that does worry me is that is that I'll have no way of monitoring the results of my efforts for an entire month. The scales are the thing that keeps me in check. The longest I've been away from then since I started this healthy quest of mine is 11 days - I'm going to be away nearly 3 times as long this time. The one thing I did think of is that packing my tape measure would take up very little space - I've been tracking my measurements too the last couple of weeks, so that's something I could keep tracking to give me a rough idea of how I'm doing. Any ideas here?

Today is the start of a fresh week and I'd very much like to produce another weekly tracker like last week's come Friday ... or even better! I had a little treat in the form of breakfast from Starbucks this morning, which is something I only do every couple of months - I make sure to keep it as a treat and not let it become a habit. Lunch will be homemade soup from last night (carrot with tarragon today), and I'm meeting some friends for dinner tonight which will be Italian - so veg heavy pasta, spirits or soft drinks instead of wine, and leave the garlic bread alone! I might see if I can head to the gym or catch a swim later this afternoon too.

Hope everyone's having a good Friday - can't believe I've only got one week of work left to go!

- Posted from my iPhone

Thursday, 22 July 2010

See that ....

... that is my tracker for the week.

Please notice it has a positive number in the points saved box.

I had a little nibble of my flatmate's pizza she had for dinner, otherwise there would have been more bonus points. I nearly didn't point it, but I ate it, so I pointed it.

Now - let's see what the scales have to say tomorrow morning ...

Accountants can't count

That's a shocker isn't it? By an error on my part I ended up 1 point over yesterday. Not really time for panicking yet though, I think you'll agree.

My eating plans were all on track yesterday until after counselling. The plan at that point was to jump in the car, rush over to Worcester, meet my friends at the cinema where they'd have already bought my ticket and go straight into the film with my chicken wrap, my popcorn and my bottle of water in my bag. No time for temptation at the concessions kiosk, and eating my wrap would help satisfy my normal behaviour of eating at the cinema.

Instead, I got a phonecall from Jon just as I was wrapping up my session to say that Inception was fully booked and we were going to see Toy Story 3 instead, an hour later.

On the upside that meant I actually had time to get to Worcester without having a coronary / several speeding fines / missing the start of the film. On the downside it meant I now had to queue for half an hour at the screen (the showing was also fully booked), and within the siren-call of the concessions stand.

I caved. Sorry guys. I knew I had 4 points left, and the sweet, sweet call of Ben & Jerry's was too much to resist. Or at least I chose not to resist it. By my calculations I had enough for a scoop of icecream and a scoop of sorbet in a cup, rather than my snack-pack of popcorn. Very nice too.

Just minorly disappointed that the particular icecream flavour I'd picked turned out to be 4 points a scoop, not 3. So 5 points all in all.

A little annoying, but certainly not the end of the world.

I'm in that second day of post-workout muscle ache today, where it actually seems worse - I certainly got a workout on Tuesday! I'm going to hit the spin class tonight though, so I'll still earn some bonus points. I'm aiming to stick to my food points for today, which will mean even with that irritating little point from yesterday, I'll still finish on a positive number of points for the week. Yay!!!

The scales are slowly shifting downwards this week. It's nothing spectacular, but it is steady. I'm telling my inner voice that wants faster results to just shut up and be patient. I'm expecting to be able to report a loss from last week, and maybe some tape measure movement too - just don't expect it to be anything too amazing :-)

- Posted from my iPhone

Wednesday, 21 July 2010

Hell's 9th circle

It turns out there IS a greater hell than a gauntlet of takeaways when you're post-gym and starving / broken.

It's called a Marks & Spencer food hall at lunchtime. Everywhere you look there's displays of new, yummy (and astonishingly unhealthy) foods.

Was I insanely jealous as my mate walked round gathering honey-roast gammon, new potatoes with garlic butter, veg in herb butter, carrot cake dippers - carrot cake bites you dip in frosting and then walnuts, and flapjack dippers - flapjack bites you dip in chocolate sauce and then chocolate chips (what fresh torture are these devilish new inventions???) - for her dinner tonight?

Oh hell yes.

Was I dribbling over the displays of new summer cupcakes, triplets of miniature desserts (key lime!!! My favourite!!), and other miscellaneous sweet and savoury snack packs?

Double hell yes!!!


Did I leave with only my sugar-free squash, some strawberries and a Count on Us chicken wrap for tea tonight.


Sulking much now?


Some days are sent to try us *sigh*. I can't eat that stuff without consequences. Actually, neither can Sam, but that's another story and a reality she's not ready to face yet :-(

Meanwhile, I've got 5 points to spare after my planned tea. I'm thinking a snack before counselling, and something small at the cinema, and then maybe a point or two saved for another day.

Ah well - I think the worst of the temptation is over.

May the strength be with you, fellow Resisters of Temptation!

- Posted from my iPhone

I won!! And ouch.

One problem with getting back on track with your eating, after a period in the healthy-eating wilderness, is the disconnect between your brain and your stomach.

Your stomach quietly say it's not hungry and there's no need to eat yet, but your brain whines that it's bored and let's do something fun. Your stomach tells you that physically you're full, but your brain keeps chomping on about having some dessert, or something sweet, to finish off that dinner properly.

Bad habits are so easy to form, and actually quite easy to break, but it does take a bit of time and effort - it takes willpower too. It's easier to make a decision to do something you don't want to do - make a phone call you've been putting off, get off your ass and go to the gym - than it is to make a decision, and keep making that decision over and over, not to do something you want to do.

And that was my fight with myself yesterday. I planned my food for the day, and after having a banana and a little bit of dry cereal to pep me up for the gym, I was on track for some bonus points to bank.

Incidentally, you know it's been a good work out when you can't coordinate your shaking hand enough to get your key in the locker door afterwards. Coming out of the gym, all I wanted to do was collapse on the sofa and stay there. Preparing any kind of dinner seemed like seemed like a monumental effort.

A quick inspection of the fridge revealed that two of the key ingredients for my proposed dinner were missing - bacon and mushroom pasta without mushrooms or pasta kind of sucks.

Dilemma: do I haul my ass into the shower and then down to Co-Op which stays open later, to retrieve said items, or try and cobble dinner from something else. Answer: there's hardly any veg to be seen in the fridge, and everything else takes too long, and has more points than I want.

Shower, change, jump in the car. Is there a greater torture in life than wandering to the supermarket through a veritable gauntlet of takeaways, all emitting mouth-dribblingly nice smells? I damn near caved for takeaway at that point, but a) my rule says no takeaway until Costa Rica, and b) I know I feel rubbish afterwards.

After dinner, I had battle number 2 with myself. It was near 10pm and I was comfortably full, so somebody explain to me why all I wanted was one of the desserts from the freezer. Admittedly, they're Skinny Cow ones, so they're not exactly unhealthy, but that wasn't the point.

I decided that going to bed and getting an early night was the safest way to win the battle.

Daily result: another 3.5 points banked, and for the first time in forever I'm break-even on my points with 2 days of my Weightwatchers week, and another work out, to go. WHOOOP!!

Circuits last night was TOUGH. The warm-up damn near broke me, and after the first loop of the stations, with 2 still to go, I was ready to lie down on the floor. I persevered through the squats, bicep curls, relay sprints, skipping (skipping??? Haven't done that since primary school!), bunny hops over steps, sit ups, press ups and whatever else, and finished red-faced and breathless. There were only 6 of us in the class, and I'd say most were considerably fitter than me, including the army guy who was busy making his stations harder.

I think I found it so tough as it's exercises I don't normally do, but the instructor was nice and came round to correct my form, and at least each agony is only for a max of 40 seconds (although there's no break between stations until the end if each complete loop). I'm feeling it all over this morning, but I've booked in for next week anyway.

Tonight I've got my counselling session and then I've arranged to meet friends at the cinema straight after. No exercise, but a welcome evening of rest - I've been active the last 4 days so I'm happy with that. Since there's no time for dinner in tonight's schedule, I've planned my food to include tea on the run. I want another day on track.

Catch ya later, dudes.

- Posted from my iPhone

Tuesday, 20 July 2010

Back on track thinking

When I first started Weight Watchers, I was avid about tracking my points, earning bonus points, doing a little bit of exercise anywhere I could in my day, just to see those bonus points tick up.

I found an intense satisfaction in activity, because I could really see how moving my body actually counted for something in my battle of the bulge.

Similarly, there was actually a satisfaction is denying myself something small or substituting for something more healthy so I could see my points total go into credit over the course of the week.

Inevitably, that thrill dulled as I started to plod through the middle part of weight loss. The novelty of losing weight was gone, and the end still seemed sooooo far away. I still ticked off milestones here and there, but it was more of a routine than a ground-breaking exercise.

Around Christmas, I pepped up - finally feeling like I was within sight of the end goal. 4 stone gone, and I was on the verge of having less than a stone to go to my goal.

One word: skiing.

A fabulous holiday, where I definitely felt all the benefits of my loss: ski kit that fitted easily, increased fitness, decreased self-consciousness, increased confidence in my abilities, happy enough to stick a bikini on and run through the snow and clamber into the hot-tub in front of virtual strangers (and mostly guys).

I also ate like a pig for a week - copying everyone else - after all I was the same as them now - and paid for it with a half stone gain on my return.

I confidently assumed it would drop off on my return, like my previous holidays during my Weight Watchers journey, but I didn't refind my tracking form. Whilst I didn't get any heavier, I didn't get any lighter either.

I cheated with my food - I'd give up on weekends (and occasional weekdays), and with such huge deficits on points I got used to finishing the week that way. I gave up on trying to catch up my points after a blowout, and stopped viewing the activity as a way to help that.

I still worked out, but more erratically, although I still felt fairly fit. I did some long walks and felt fine, so convinced myself I was still improving.

I started not tracking properly, as I got so fed up of seeing the massive points deficits ... or I'd just not track at all.

I maintained, because I refused to give up totally, but got frustrated at my lack of progress. Why couldn't I lose anything? I mean, I was still pointing(ish) and exercising, but it took a while to admit that I was also lying to myself, and letting food fly under the radar wasn't helping anyone, least of all me.

It's taken a long while to pick myself out of this funk, and I'm frustrated with myself that I've left it this long. Not least, because I'm going on the trip of a lifetime in less than 3 weeks, and I'm still a long way from goal, and not as comfortable with myself as I was.

I've spent the last couple of weeks pulling together the old habits, and this weekend I finally pulled something out the bag I was proud of. Last night, I added another day to that.

I got home from work, and did something I haven't done in a long time: I knew I wanted to go the cinema after work, which didn't leave much time for exercise, but I figured some running was better than none, so I put my butternut squash in the oven to roast, slung on my running gear and slogged out a half hour run, came back, grabbed my dinner, and strolled off to the cinema.

Check me out - on the way to the cinema I was working out what snack I could eat at the cinema for my points, but when I actually got the kiosk, I just got a bottle of Diet Coke - the prospect of banking some points was too tempting.

I was mildly hungry again by the time I got home, or at least craving something sweet, but passed over having dessert from the freezer to just grab a few Haribo my flatmate had left.

This is the behaviour that used to work. My points deficit this week is down to 3.5 points after the weekend. I've got circuits tonight - I'm going to make an effort to bank those activity points (and not die at circuits class). I'm trying really hard to honestly track everything I'm eating (I didn't really want to write down the Doritos on Sunday or the fudge yesterday but I did).

I want to finish in credit this week and fairly confident of a loss on the scales and the inches front. Since my scales are still in kg's only, I've finally worked out what my kg target is so I know what the heck I'm aiming for.

This feels good.

- Posted from my iPhone

Monday, 19 July 2010

Walks and weddings

Not a bad weekend on the "I'm trying really hard to behave myself front". Am I very slowly improving?

I went to an old schoolfriend's wedding on Saturday and despite the obvious challenge that an unknown menu for a 3 course dinner plus canapes represents - I emerged just 6 points over. Yay!!!

I had a very chilled out day on Friday and opted to do absolutely nothing at all in the evening, so I was lovely and chilled out. I was also bang on my points.

Knowing that there was a sit down dinner on Saturday evening, I kicked off Saturday morning with an hour of sweaty cardio in the gym - cross-trainer, run on the treadmill and a session on the spin bike. After a frugal (but filling) morning's eating of cereal for breakfast and homemade soup with crackers for lunch, I donned my finery (again) and somehow managed to be late leaving for the wedding, unable to find my invitation and therefore trusting to luck and fortune that I'd find the church!

I did find it in good time, after a mini panic en route that the ceremony was actually 2 not 2.30, and joined my friends for a very sweet service in a VERY picturesque church.

After another feat of randomly lucky navigating I made it cross-country to the reception venue. I freely admit that I ate some canapes, but not everything that was offered. I didn't drink and didn't eat wedding cake, and I religiously pointed everything I ate.

It was a gorgeous afternoon and evening, and I loved catching up with friends and not having to worry too much about what I ate. I got an absolute butt-load of compliments (yay!) and I've got pretty good at accepting them now ;-)

What was weird, was that looking back at the photos, I'm now smaller than one of the girls I went to school with - something that's never happened before. Very strange. I'll pop a few of my favourite photos up this evening.

After a very long peaceful sleep on Saturday night, I had another lazy day yesterday. I hit the Next sale for work clothes and got two more nice fitted dresses. I love that they show off my figure although they are pretty snug at the moment - standing's fine, sitting ... not so much! They'll be fantastic in a couple of pounds time though - coming soon to a Sue near you!

Yesterday evening we strolled over the Beacon for tea at one of our favourite pubs, the Brewers Arms. I spied icecream sundaes on the dessert board so stuck to homemade soup whilst everyone else indulged in fish and chips, so I could have one guilt-free .... soooooooo good! Especially as I finished yesterday bang on my points too.

The fridge is yet again stocked with healthy stuff, so after a pretty well-behaved weekend I'm really hopeful I'll be able to pull something good out the bag this week. I'm booked in for circuits tomorrow night at the gym, and spin on Thursday, and intend to do something tonight - either the gym or a run.

Only 2 weeks left at work now, and I've just received my last paycheck - pretty scary to have all this uncertainty laid out in front of me at the moment after Costa Rica - I guess I just have to look at it as opportunity for a new adventure!

- Posted from my iPhone

Friday, 16 July 2010

Spinning along

Sometimes the unplanned workouts turn out to be some of the best. I wasn't much in the mood to exercise last night but driving home I convinced myself I'd do something. It looked too windy and rainy out to make running a temptation, so I thought I'd head to the gym instead.

I happened to arrive just as the spin class was starting and Tim yelled across the gym that I should hop on the spare bike. I ended up having an impromptu spin class which was pretty good (although I'd forgotten how much of a difference cleated shoes make!), and then ran afterwards because that's what I'd been intending to do anyway. 60 mins of good cardio - 40 on the bike and 20 running.

I think my heart rate monitor went a bit loopy somewhere along the line as it had my max heart rate clocked at 238 afterwards, which is ridiculous. I've never seen it above 190ish, so I think I either got cross-talk from someone much fitter nearby (the lady next to me was wearing one too and was obviously training hard for something as she'd done two back to back classes and carried on after the session) or my chest band wasn't sitting properly, but it was still a good 600+ calories of burn.

Eats were good yesterday - I was pretty much perfect on my points and even negotiated a film night at the boys without diving in the crisp bowl.

Looking back over my week's tracking I've been pretty good (for me, in the scale of my eating the last 6 months) - I've been either on target for my weight loss points, or within the boundaries of maintenance points for the whole week, which is pretty much a record for me recently. It's therefore more than a little disappointing that the scales have held steady all week and then gained 2lbs overnight for my weigh in, making me heavier than last week.


Why would you do that to me?

Even if I'd been on maintenance points all week that shouldn't have happened, but I've been below that.

Grrrrr. Instead I felt bloated this morning for no reason (no not that time of the month). Guess I'm just going to have to keep behaving and add a little more effort besides.

I'm heading to a friend's wedding tomorrow which is local for a change, so I've got a weekend at home. At the moment, my plan is to drive and stay off the booze, as that always makes things easier - and this wedding is also out in the middle of the countryside too, so it just makes things all round simpler.

No real plans for tonight at the moment - I could really do with spending the afternoon cleaning and tidying in the flat as it's an absolute tip at the moment, so I think maybe I'll stick some music on and potter this afternoon. Sunday's plans at the moment are a longish stroll on the hills and then tea at one of our favourite pubs on the other side before meandering home again. It's home-cooked food up there, but just means I need to save a few points so I'm not worrying about it.

Let us please pray (for the sake of my sanity) that the scales decide to catch up with my current plans soon. Just in case I've got the tape measure out and taken notes though!

- Posted from my iPhone

Thursday, 15 July 2010

Go with the flow

Sometimes, it has to be said, it's just far, far easier to take the path of least resistance.

Last night was a case in point. I had my meals all planned out, but due to being very hungry in the afternoon, I'd had a few extra points in the form of a Nature Valley bar. I also had a Boot Shapers bar on the way to counselling to stop my stomach rumbling.

This would have taken me a whole 2.5 points over for the day. Horror and panic, as I'm sure you can imagine (yeah, I'm being sarcastic).

Instead of just sticking to my original plan of risotto for dinner, I decided to try and be clever and do a new soup recipe for dinner (broccoli and Stilton soup). Not the best plan I've ever had because instead of just being able to stick a box in the microwave and having home-cooked, reheated goodness in a matter of minutes, I was faffing around for nearly an hour, during which time I ate several spoon-fulls of icecream straight from the carton, and a quarter baguette with a little tub of crab.

So I ended up eating 2 points worth more than if I'd just had the damn risotto, with an added feeling of guilt.

So, lesson number 664 in losing weight is this: sometimes it's wiser (as well as easier) to just go with the flow.

- Posted from my iPhone

Wednesday, 14 July 2010

One small battle won ...

... so many more to go.

But for today, I'm content.

Know why?

Know how many bits of my home-baking passed my lips yesterday?

Not one.




In your dirty face, Cake!!!

But not in mine :-)

And it wasn't even that hard in the end. They were all gone by mid-afternoon. Clearly I wasn't paying enough attention to them, in fact, as I wasn't aware they'd all gone and I'd forgotten to put one aside for my flatmate! Doh!!

I had a real craving for risotto last night (the butternut squash and bacon one from the WW's magazine), so I popped round to the supermarket last night to pick up the bits I needed for it. Only problem was that when I got home and started laying out ingredients, I realised I'd forgotten to get any wine - argggh!!

Rather than get side-tracked into eating something I didn't have enough points for, I prepped the first half of the dish and put it in the oven to roast and ran back out to go and get the wine (just a baby bottle though as I don't really drink wine anymore - too many points) and also the milk and salad I also forgot earlier.

Devotion indeed.

So I had a very tasty risotto or dinner with a big pile of fresh spinach on the side, and a small glass of wine (had to finish the baby bottle), and allowed myself a handful of Crunchie Nuggets from the pack my flatmate had opened. Not a bad day at all!

I've pre-tracked my points today, and I've got the other half of the risotto for tea tonight. I've got my third counselling session tonight, so I'm really pleased to have an easy tea sorted for when I get back, as I'm always hungry and that's when the accidental takeaway episodes tend to occur!

I don't feel like I've done much exercise yet this week, but I wont eat myself up about that - just get in what I can, when I can.

I had another call from the recruitment agency yesterday about a third job they want to put me forwards for .... another one in Worcester. So typical that I decide a move to Bristol would be nice and they start finding jobs in Worcester for me!

The only other thing to report is I've started putting together my lists for Costa Rica (and other to-do things like wedding presents for this weekend) and I suddenly feel like I've a lot to do. Time to start ticking things off one at a time I think, so it's not all left til the last minute!

- Posted from my iPhone

Tuesday, 13 July 2010

Breaking the baking ban

.... but not really.

I'm all round feeling quite virtuous right now.

I went out for dinner last night with my dad and a family friend and 2 courses later I was still on track on my points for the day. I had an idea of what to eat to stay on plan, and although I got a little tempted to stray by the menu, I ordered a tomato and vegetable dish with penne. When my dining companions decided on dessert, I averted my eyes from the honeycomb cheesecake (my absolutely favourite) and had raspberry sorbet. Sparkling water to drink (lots of) and a little stroll home instead of the car.

Now ... this 'ere baking. I swore at the weekend that there would be no baking for the next 4 weeks to help with the non-derailment of Costa Rica plans. Then I won the office sweep stake for the World Cup and spent most of yesterday being badgered for cakes to celebrate my win. (Ah yes, the irony of winning money and then being forced to spend it on the people you won it off. I wonder how many of them would have rushed out to buy cakes had they won?).

It seems a bit silly to buy cakes when I enjoy baking so much and am given such a blatant excuse to do it. So I baked after getting back from dinner. Chocolate chip cookies and chocolate brownies.

But hear this: I haven't eaten a single one of my own cakes yet. I'd really like to avoid eating any at all, so I'm busy encouraging everyone in the office to get stuck in.

I honestly love baking - there's something highly therapeutic in putting raw ingredients together and coming out with something completely different and hopefully highly tasty.

In some ways I'm desperate to eat one, as I have that unreasonable feeling that most overweight people probably have, that there's something (nice) on offer and I'm missing out. Even if we don't need it or even much want it.

I know they'd taste good, but I'm not hungry right now, and I have plenty of healthy snacks with me. I'm enjoying the feeling of righteousness that not eating them is giving me. A little battle with my demons that it's within my power to win ... if I choose to. I've just got to choose to.

I'll let you know later if I manage to make the right choice! :-)

- Posted from my iPhone

Monday, 12 July 2010

Old dog. New tricks.

With all my motivation to eat well in tact I survived the weekend pretty smoothly in the end.

A few points over on Saturday after lunch on the run, dinner out and drinking and birthday cake all night, but nothing too catastrophic. No big hangover breakfast for me at the hotel yesterday morning - 2 slices of toast and jam and some fruit juice. No gluttony at the BBQ yesterday afternoon - stay in the kitchen prepping and keeping busy, don't drink and just a burger, a sausage and some grilled peppers and mushrooms to fill up. No heavy, unnecessary dinner last night - a bowl of cereal before heading out to watch the football. And taking every opportunity to move my ass that I could - so picking the sensible restaurant choice on Saturday (Harvester - grilled chicken, jacket potato and salad bar, diet Coke and a 20 min walk to get there, over dim sum, gluttony and a car ride), and a nice sunny walk round the Loughborough university campus yesterday morning whilst friends explored their old haunts.

All in all, I'm pleased with my effort. I've proved that I can have fun and not go crazy, and that I can learn from my mistakes at a BBQ. The scales were down a little this morning and I'm on track for another good day.

I'll post some photos later from the weekend - much fun was had :o)

- Posted from my iPhone

Saturday, 10 July 2010

And would you like a run with that breakfast, Madam?

Yes, some of us have suddenly realised that we've spent the last 6 months faffing around on the healthy-eating front, and in 4 weeks we are now required to sling a bikini on a body that is in a state of somewhat less than perfection, and parade around in front of enitre beaches full hot surf dudes. For 4 weeks.


Oh. HOLY. Crap.

Strange what that can do for your motivation to get back on that wagon, whip the horses up and start singing "roll 'em out, Raw-hiiiiiiide!".

I've been slowly crawling wagon-wards for a while now, but with frequent incidences of, well, falling off it again.

Now is not the time for that!

I've spent the last couple of weeks rediscovering all the habits I need to do this, whilst simultaneously managing to not use them all ... errr .... simultaneously.

No time for that either!

If I haven't get that bloody half a stone shot by the time that plane leaves, it'll be time to start hacking at various limbs until we're there. And I'm quite fond of my extremities, so something less extreme appears to be in order.

So - checklist:

  • Motivation. Check. In spades.
  • Reasonable target. Check. Half a stone (actually, slightly less, but I'll take half a stone) - that's reasonable in 4 weeks. Especially as my last week is off work and I can eat healthily and exercise to my heart's content in between packing and panicking.
  • Skills. Check. I know the drill. More fruit, more veg. Avoid what I can't point. If I eat it, track it. No takeaways, no baking (ok, those last two are bit more extreme, but it's only 4 weeks and they're serious downfalls for me - I get enough cake and eating out anyway to live without for 4 weeks). Think, think, think. And move my ass. Anywhere, anyhow - it doesn't matter.
  • Timescale - 4 weeks dedication.
Which would explain why I'm sat on my living room floor at half 10 on a Saturday morning, eating a butt-load of fruit for breakfast (with sugar-free jelly - I'm so hot I needed something cool to go with the fruit), feeling the sweat dry on me as I wait for the shower to be free, post-run. A 50 min, hot, sweat-fest, just-shy-of-7km-run. Huh - my longest to date - would you look at that. That run nicely negates an unexpected dinner out last night (at which I was pretty good if I do say so), and keeps me on track for the week.

We're black-tie-ing in Loughborough tonight for my friends' Bob and Caz's 30th birthday celebrations. So in about an hour, I'm driving down with friends, checking into our fancy-schmancy hotel, checking out the spa and pool, trying ... no, being, good at dinner (I think we're having dim sum), and then dressing up and drinking and dancing the night away.

p.s. the drinking? Another new rule applied - no wine, stick to spirits and diet mixers, alternate every drink with a diet soft drink or water. Did it last night, and I shall do it again this evening.

And on that note, I'm taking my stinky, sweat-encrusted self off to the shower and then sorting out some packing.

See ya later dudes!

Thursday, 8 July 2010

Today: I devote it to me

As expected I feel pretty rough this morning after consuming a dinner chock-filled with MSG last night; and the scales have gone suitably haywire in response.

So today is about me being kind to myself and sticking to the plan properly. My points and nothing more.

I still seem to be stuck in my maintenance cycle of good, good, good, bad, and repeat. Shame I'm not at goal or that would be peachy!

In response to feeling horrible this morning I paid extra attention to my appearance and I've been reaping the compliments all day. Mostly about my beautiful shoes :-)

That's all - nothing else to report right now.

- Posted from my iPhone

Wednesday, 7 July 2010

Counselling - take 2

So here I am, with a cheeky little cocktail at the weekend .... and my cheeky little friend Kok-Yee too. I actually think we were trying to drink our cocktails with our arms linked through each others like the old champagne drinking move ... instead it just looks like she's trying to plant a great big kiss on me!

Exhibit number 2: All the girls dressed up and ready to go out on Saturday night - me on the left in my lovely French Connection dress and some gorgeous orange Kurt Geiger shoes I picked up during the day in Bath.

And finally, at Komedia with the bride, Katherine on the left, and one of her bridesmaids, Sonia, on the right.

This weekend, we're shooting off to Loughborough for my friends' 30th - still no idea what dress to wear, but at least after last weekend, I know that I can have a plan to get through it without deviating from eating well and I should be fine.

Tonight, had my second session with my counsellor. We talked more around my mum's death and how it's affected my relationship with my dad, as well as how things are with my friends at the moment. I was far calmer than I was during last week's session - no emotional shitstorms to wade through, but it was still really productive. Maybe even more productive that last week.

Last week, I pretty much vented for an hour - all that pent-up stress and anxiety and frustration - she didn't really push me on anything I was saying, or question too much, but I left feeling far, far calmer anyway. Simply because I'd let it out and voiced it.

This week, she picked me up on things I said, and forced (no, that's not right, asked) me to examine what I was saying vs. feeling. Apparently, I'm rather good at not saying what I'm feeling, even to myself. I've got a lot I need to think over, but she's definitely given me a fresh perspective on two big things that have been bothering me. Not necessarily the answers to how to solve them, but a different starting point. I would seem to have some quite big abandonment issues amongst other things, and my coping tactic so far when faced with something difficult has been to back away and separate myself from the things that upset me. That needs to change.

I came home and had a Chinese takeaway afterwards, since I didn't feel much like cooking - I don't mind as I had the points available, although I doubt I'll feel that good tomorrow (damn MSG). Feeling much cheered by the football results though - Spain won their semi-final, which means I've definitely won at least some money in my office sweepstake now!

Tuesday, 6 July 2010

Post weekend post-mortem

I had a plan.

It went a lot like this:

• Stick to the dinner choices I'd pre-selected.
• Track everything.
• Stay on points for the weekend.

The first point was fine, and I was glad I'd made my decisions up front because it did make things easier.

I did track everything. I whipped my phone out and tracked as I went so I didn't forget anything. It kept me mindful.

Ummmm .... the last point. Well, I put in a good effort, and I'd say I was about half-way there. I didn't eat any desserts on any of the meals out. I avoided wine and stuck to vodka and diet mixers where I could - the one exception being Friday night when we were a little late arriving for dinner and wine had already been ordered at the table - I swapped drinks as soon as I could.

I didn't snack between meals.

Where I fell down was the breakfast buffet on Saturday, where I forgot that making several healthy choices still adds up to quite a lot if points (but I did better on Sunday), and the simple fact that the hen wanted to stop for cake AND ice cream on Saturday. Frugal choices helped though (toasted teacake instead of cake, ice cream in a tub instead of a sugar cone).

Overall, I'd say I hit a maintaining level rather than a losing weight level, but that's still an achievement. A 50% pass I'd say, and not bad on a weekend where I ate out from Friday lunchtime to Sunday evening.

I was rather chuffed therefore to see only a lb on at the scales yesterday morning.

My eating wasn't absolutely stellar yesterday, I was a bit nibbly, but I did turn out a 6k run last night in 45 mins, so imagine my grumpiness this morning when I'd mysteriously gained an additional 2lbs.

Rotten TOTM!!!

Other than that a shiny weekend was had by all. I bought gorgeous shoes in the sale at Kurt Geiger, and raided the Sweaty Betty shop for goodies (new workout top, new bra and new running headband). We were a bit frustrated by some of the hen's other friends who seemed to judge my school friends and I are for our lifestyle choices - i.e. that we earn money and spend it as we choose on a few luxuries - in itself I wouldn't have minded that but then they were content to let us buy them drinks and not say thank you or buy any back either. I hate double standards!!

Going to get my hormonal eying back under control today and maybe do a spin class this evening. I was meant to be attempting to play squash again last night, but we got foiled yet again by Jon forgetting that Monday night is club night at the courts after 7 so we couldn't book. Doh!

- Posted from my iPhone

Thursday, 1 July 2010

A beginners guide to counselling

I cried. A lot.

I talked without direction, just letting the flow of my own thoughts lead me where it would. Sometimes there was a silence, sometimes I couldn't talk for snot and tears.

The hour passed quickly, once I got started and I got over my initial embarrassment. We talked (I talked?) about a lot of stuff - things I knew were upsetting me, and others that I hadn't even thought of in a while.

At the end of the hour, my counseller said that she had a few ideas of where she wanted to take the next session, and we're meeting again next week.

On the way home, I did something. I went to the cemetary and visited my mum's grave. I haven't been there since the day we interred the ashes. I realised as I stood there, that I've never seen her headstone, until today. It was a bittersweet moment, and I guess I told her I missed her.

I have a socking great headache now (always a post-crying thing for me), and I have to pack for the weekend. I think I'll do what I need to and then sod off to bed and switch off completely.

Pushing forwards

Sometimes the run just doesn't come together and it's all you can do not to just give up and walk home. That's how I felt last night: tired, heavy legs and scoffing feet, too hot and unfocused. I persevered, walking when I absolutely had to but refusing to stop once I was in the final quarter. I actually felt a but dizzy by the time I got back to the car but it passed.

Sometimes the best you can say of a run is it's finished. Another 5km in the bag.

I was so hungry when I got home, that I was tempted to empty the whole pack of capaletti into the pan. I had the points available after all. But that feels to close to a fat-me behaviour - eating two portions is what the old me would have done. New me had the correct single portion and then added some grilled chicken and fresh spinach to pad it out. Only slightly less points than having the double portion, but a better mix on my plate of carbs and fat, to lean protein and greenery.

But the rewards of sticking to my guns yesterday and pushing on through? The scales slipped down to 12 st 9.5 again this morning. One of the lowest weights of the last 6 months.

In a fit of obsessive uber-geekiness yesterday, I looked up the restaurants I knew were on this weekend's itinerary and noted down my menu choices in my tracking notes on my phone. Yes - I'm still doing that. That actually feels really helpful because with my dinners booked in I know what I've got to play with at the other mealtimes.

I hit all of yesterday's mini-goals. I ate on plan, I ran and I planned a bit for the weekend. I even managed to put some of my washing in ahead of time!

Tonight is my first counselling session after work. I'm a little bit nervous but also feel quite calm.

Ta for all the lovely comments on the dresses yesterday by the way - I think this is the first year that I'm really going to enjoy getting dressed up and feel comfortable in dresses.

- Posted from my iPhone