Wow - who said Friday the 13th was a bad day? The scales this morning said I might lose some weight this week after all, I'm wearing skinny black jeans that used to be really tight and now fit nicely, with a belt that I bought to use as a waist belt, but is now used for trousers instead and seems to have jumped in an extra notch. There was zero traffic on the way into work this morning, so I was in at 7.30 and out by 12.30, and even managed to polish off pretty much all the work including the last minute requests for info from the States. And we were told today finally that our jobs are safe and there's not going to be compulsory redundancies after all - don't think I realised how relieved I was going to feel about that.
So took my Dad out for a nice lunch in town - lush food, although now used up all my points for the day as I had a little blow out. I had the home-made soup (very sensible I hear you say) but also treated myself to a side bowl of their fries with garlic mayo as they are some of the best you will ever taste - piping hot, crisp, not to greasy, and just the right amount of salt on them, and the mayo is to die for. Also had a peach syllabub for dessert - very tasty but almost a bit too creamy for me. Felt ridiculously full afterwards, and yeah, I'll be eating zero point soup for dinner, and it was a lot of points to blow in one go (think it came to about 22 with my rough guesstimating of points), but I can't quite bring myself to regret it as it was a really nice chance to catch up with my dad and cheer him up as he's been so down recently. In any case, I've got some bonus points stacked up this week to use, and I'm quite tempted to shuffle off to the gym for half an hour in a bit as I'm feeling rather lazy today (weird - I like being lazy!).
Given how well the day seems to have gone, I thought maybe I was having a bit of a lucky day, so decided to have a little flutter on the Cheltenham Gold Cup - my whole office has got a bit caught up in it this week given that we can see the racecourse from our office and we've had to put up with the traffic chaos (hence the early starts to avoid it) and the constant stream of helicopters buzzing our office all week. Weeellllll - the luck had to run out somewhere .... changed my bets from Cauto Star and Neptune Collanges to Madison du Berlais and Neptune Collanges at the last minute - of course Cauto Star then went on to win and Neptune Collanges just got beaten into 4th. Hey ho - you win some, you lose some, and I'm not going to argue with the one's I've won today!
Friday, 13 March 2009
Thursday, 12 March 2009
Fat Face maybe, but not such a fat bottom anymore
There's a pair of trousers in my wardrobe - grey cords that I bought from Fat Face sometime last year. God only knows why I bought them, as they were blatantly too tight to wear at the time. I can only think that my ego was so chuffed that I could even do the damn things up that it was completely oblivious to the fact that the effect was rather like a pillow tied round with a piece of string, as the waist-band was way too tight.
So there they've languished at the back of the wardrobe since that day - occasionally pulled out, tried on, and put back with a statement of intent that one day I would get into them. Except that I'm wearing them as I type, and the muffin-top is no longer there (well, so nearly no longer there as to not count). A piece of incontrovertable proof that progress is being made. Either that or the wardrobe pixies have been going in and stretching them when I wasn't looking.
They're not an absolutely perfect fit .... yet. But they're close enough that I'd no longer need to wear a loose top to hide how tight the waistband is, and I figure that I'd best start wearing them now, so I get some wear out of them before they get too big.
Ooooh - look at my positivity!!! Beautiful - I shall try and hang on to this feeling.
So there they've languished at the back of the wardrobe since that day - occasionally pulled out, tried on, and put back with a statement of intent that one day I would get into them. Except that I'm wearing them as I type, and the muffin-top is no longer there (well, so nearly no longer there as to not count). A piece of incontrovertable proof that progress is being made. Either that or the wardrobe pixies have been going in and stretching them when I wasn't looking.
They're not an absolutely perfect fit .... yet. But they're close enough that I'd no longer need to wear a loose top to hide how tight the waistband is, and I figure that I'd best start wearing them now, so I get some wear out of them before they get too big.
Ooooh - look at my positivity!!! Beautiful - I shall try and hang on to this feeling.
Decisions, decisions
Feeling good today - I've got lovely healthy food with me at work, and I've just been anxiously counting down the minutes until lunch so that I could get on the internet at work and read my next installment of Dietgirl's blog. I wish I could tell her how fantastic her blog is, but I guess she gets so many similar comments these days she already knows that.
Anyhoo, I've been debating the question of cycling clothes today. I've had my eye on some really nice mtb shorts and a jacket for ages, but now I'm in a quandary and not sure what to do. As I am now biking fairly regularly, I'd really like some decent clothes to do it - I currently use my gym trousers (cropped, loose fit ones), but they don't really cut it when the weathers miserable and wet. Similarly, the waterproof I used this week is ok - it's just one of those pack-a-mac ones but it's a bit baggy and not really ventilated. Being the size I am (for now - only for now!!) it's a bit of a challenge trying to find decent biking clothes to fit. I've found some on a US website called Harlot which are lovely, but also pretty pricey by the time you include the shipping costs. Soooo .... do I go ahead and buy the ones I wanted, shorts and waterproof / windproof jacket and risk them being to big soon (in a couple of months??? Oh my God - how nice would that be??), or do I just pick up a pair of shorts in the sale section and make do with the rest of my kit for the time being? Decisions, decisions!!!
I wish all these sodding bruises on my legs would die down - I really want to go swimming or to aquafit this week, but look more like an abused housewife at the moment!!! Grrrrrrrr. Spin last night was excellent though - got really into and found the energy to push myself harder - felt really good!!! Although I have to question why I always see the one hot guy who's in the gym when I'm dripping buckets of sweat after my class, not before when the day's make-up is still vaguely in tact - tsk - life is mean! lol
Anyhoo, I've been debating the question of cycling clothes today. I've had my eye on some really nice mtb shorts and a jacket for ages, but now I'm in a quandary and not sure what to do. As I am now biking fairly regularly, I'd really like some decent clothes to do it - I currently use my gym trousers (cropped, loose fit ones), but they don't really cut it when the weathers miserable and wet. Similarly, the waterproof I used this week is ok - it's just one of those pack-a-mac ones but it's a bit baggy and not really ventilated. Being the size I am (for now - only for now!!) it's a bit of a challenge trying to find decent biking clothes to fit. I've found some on a US website called Harlot which are lovely, but also pretty pricey by the time you include the shipping costs. Soooo .... do I go ahead and buy the ones I wanted, shorts and waterproof / windproof jacket and risk them being to big soon (in a couple of months??? Oh my God - how nice would that be??), or do I just pick up a pair of shorts in the sale section and make do with the rest of my kit for the time being? Decisions, decisions!!!
I wish all these sodding bruises on my legs would die down - I really want to go swimming or to aquafit this week, but look more like an abused housewife at the moment!!! Grrrrrrrr. Spin last night was excellent though - got really into and found the energy to push myself harder - felt really good!!! Although I have to question why I always see the one hot guy who's in the gym when I'm dripping buckets of sweat after my class, not before when the day's make-up is still vaguely in tact - tsk - life is mean! lol
Wednesday, 11 March 2009
Is there such a thing as being too honest?
I've been thinking about this on and off during the day. Which is bad as I really should have been doing some work!!! I really must transfer some of my WW's enthusiasm over to my work-life. Anyway, I digress.
I've been mulling over how honest one should be in a blog, especially one that's visible to other people. I mean the whole point of keeping this diary is so that I can note down things I learn about myself as I go along, which would really point to being 100% honest, but what if the truth is so ugly it's embarrassing. Looking back at my post last night and my ridiculous feelings of resentment at my flatmate taking up WW's I cringe - I could well come out of this exercise not liking myself very much if I'm not careful! It's strange, it's kind of cathartic putting it all down on paper (well on theoretical cyber-paper ... you know what I mean) - all those things that are bottled up in your head and you can't or won't say to those around you. At the same time I worry that the few people who read this, and who have been so wonderfully sympathetic up til now, will start to get fed up with the real me - the neuroses, the trivial anxieties, the self-centred-world-revolves-around-me-ness of it all - and will deservedly tell me to get a life and stop rambling.
I just started reading the Dietgirl blog earlier - I've started from the beginning, as although I know what the outcome is (a staggering 12.5st loss for anyone who's not come across Dietgirl), I really want to read her journey from the beginning. It's heartbreaking reading her opening entry; she writes with such brutal honesty and so descriptively, that you can imagine yourself there in the WW's meeting on the first night looking at the scales in terror, thinking they're not going to be able to weigh you because you're too heavy for them. It brings back every moment when the same feelings of fear and humiliation have bubbled up in me - going climbing with friends in France and being terrified that they wouldn't have a harness big enough, and the well-meaning but unsubtle lady at the costumes department at the theatre - following my enquiry as to whether they might have any Marilyn Monroe style dresses in the wardrobe she just looked me up and down and said "Not in your size, my love". It's hard to keep your head held high in those moments, when the blush is burning your cheeks and you just want to hide in the corner.
I think the real reason that Dietgirl makes such an impact is it is warts and all. You see, I don't want to read a story of someone's effortless journey to goal, or be told how easy it is and how perfect they are - I want someone to put the blunt truth out there and force me to look at it and accept it - that it's not going to be easy, that there will be hard times, despair, disillusionment and upset along the way, but that ultimately it is achievable because other people have done it. Other people, not so very different from myself. I want to see how they coped, and read that I'm not the only one having these experiences. I want to celebrate their successes with them so I'll know what I've got to look forward to, and to learn their coping mechanisms for when the going's not so good. Most of all - when I'm feeling isolated because I don't think anyone else in the world can ever have gone through what I'm going through - it's nice to remind myself that I'm not alone.
----------------------------------------------
Oh, and for anyone wondering - although I nearly turned round and went back to the car about 50 times before we even started, I did get to the cliff face and the harness did fit (that's me in the grey and red top) ....
.... and whilst they didn't have a Marilyn Monroe dress, I made a substitute with something I already had. The occasion was for a Children's TV themed party - I went as Miss Piggy ...
I've been mulling over how honest one should be in a blog, especially one that's visible to other people. I mean the whole point of keeping this diary is so that I can note down things I learn about myself as I go along, which would really point to being 100% honest, but what if the truth is so ugly it's embarrassing. Looking back at my post last night and my ridiculous feelings of resentment at my flatmate taking up WW's I cringe - I could well come out of this exercise not liking myself very much if I'm not careful! It's strange, it's kind of cathartic putting it all down on paper (well on theoretical cyber-paper ... you know what I mean) - all those things that are bottled up in your head and you can't or won't say to those around you. At the same time I worry that the few people who read this, and who have been so wonderfully sympathetic up til now, will start to get fed up with the real me - the neuroses, the trivial anxieties, the self-centred-world-revolves-around-me-ness of it all - and will deservedly tell me to get a life and stop rambling.
I just started reading the Dietgirl blog earlier - I've started from the beginning, as although I know what the outcome is (a staggering 12.5st loss for anyone who's not come across Dietgirl), I really want to read her journey from the beginning. It's heartbreaking reading her opening entry; she writes with such brutal honesty and so descriptively, that you can imagine yourself there in the WW's meeting on the first night looking at the scales in terror, thinking they're not going to be able to weigh you because you're too heavy for them. It brings back every moment when the same feelings of fear and humiliation have bubbled up in me - going climbing with friends in France and being terrified that they wouldn't have a harness big enough, and the well-meaning but unsubtle lady at the costumes department at the theatre - following my enquiry as to whether they might have any Marilyn Monroe style dresses in the wardrobe she just looked me up and down and said "Not in your size, my love". It's hard to keep your head held high in those moments, when the blush is burning your cheeks and you just want to hide in the corner.
I think the real reason that Dietgirl makes such an impact is it is warts and all. You see, I don't want to read a story of someone's effortless journey to goal, or be told how easy it is and how perfect they are - I want someone to put the blunt truth out there and force me to look at it and accept it - that it's not going to be easy, that there will be hard times, despair, disillusionment and upset along the way, but that ultimately it is achievable because other people have done it. Other people, not so very different from myself. I want to see how they coped, and read that I'm not the only one having these experiences. I want to celebrate their successes with them so I'll know what I've got to look forward to, and to learn their coping mechanisms for when the going's not so good. Most of all - when I'm feeling isolated because I don't think anyone else in the world can ever have gone through what I'm going through - it's nice to remind myself that I'm not alone.
----------------------------------------------
Oh, and for anyone wondering - although I nearly turned round and went back to the car about 50 times before we even started, I did get to the cliff face and the harness did fit (that's me in the grey and red top) ....
.... and whilst they didn't have a Marilyn Monroe dress, I made a substitute with something I already had. The occasion was for a Children's TV themed party - I went as Miss Piggy ...
Tuesday, 10 March 2009
Oh sod it ....
.... I'm doing this for me, and nobody else. If I make it about other people then I'm going to fail. So best of luck to my flatmate and her boyfriend - if they do well, good on them. It's not a race, it's not a competition, it's a life change and I'm not flaming well messing it up now!
So there!
:o)
So there!
:o)
Oh deary me
I've decided to go back to basics this week. I've got a quiet week socially, so it's a good chance to have a week when I stick to the points day by day, eat sensibly and work on laying the new ground rules for eating more healthily in the future.
The first lesson has been portion control - I'm the first person to admit that my eyes are far bigger than my stomach and I've forgotten what a normal meal on a plate should look like. For example, I've been really looking at my dinners as I cook and thinking how filling everything will be as I cook and therefore how much of everything do I really want. Last night was pretty educational. Firstly, I was looking at the scampi I was measuring out - the instructions on the portion said half the pack (it was a little one) - I measured it on the scales to be sure I was splitting it equally, but caught myself thinking "maybe just another one". I didn't though. Then, as I was thinking I was pretty hungry, I debated added a sweet potato to the potato I was chopping for oven-baked wedges. Why??? I realised as soon as I'd cut the potato up that there was more than enough there for one, and put the sweet potato back. Then measuring out the frozen peas and sweetcorn I was thinking "well, doesn't look like much, and this is veg so better to fill up on this". I put them away at that point.
My concept of what will fill me up seems to have got completely warped - I think that for the rest of the week I shall try and concentrate on keeping portions small, and I can go back for something else if I'm genuinely still hungry - going to be the only way to break myself out of it.
I was very good and went to the gym this evening after work, despite feeling less than enthusiastic on the way home in the car. So to gain some enthusiasm, I put my motivations list to good use. I mentally went over all the reasons I want to succeed at this, and how well I've done already, and by the time I got onto the drive, I knew that it was worth going and found the enthusiasm to go. I feel good for that, although I have come to the conclusion that I need to book an appointment to see the resident physio at the gym. The twinges in my leg are still there, and were pretty painful while I was doing abs work after my cardio - I guess you tense more muscles than you know when you're doing floor work. Annoying, as I don't want it to get in the way of my exercising.
Finally, I'm trying very hard to work out my feelings, now that my flatmate has joined WW's too. I didn't really want her to as I'm feeling selfish about my losses - maybe I just don't want to share the glory, and I certainly don't want it to turn into some sort of competition. So I suppose I view it as both a good and bad thing that her boyfriend has decided to do it with her, albeit without actually joining himself. On the upside, this probably means that any competitiveness on her part will be directed towards him, as will her need to discuss it. The downside (brace yourself - this sounds terrible) - the two of them together are far more likely to stick to it and do well (ugh - ugly sentiment that one). Why can't I just wish them well? I think it's because they've only decided to do it "because you've done so well". I think I feel a little patronised (i.e. well it must be easy then) and that they're jumping on the bandwagon now they've seen it will work. I have to find a positive side to this .... I'm trying, really I am ....
The first lesson has been portion control - I'm the first person to admit that my eyes are far bigger than my stomach and I've forgotten what a normal meal on a plate should look like. For example, I've been really looking at my dinners as I cook and thinking how filling everything will be as I cook and therefore how much of everything do I really want. Last night was pretty educational. Firstly, I was looking at the scampi I was measuring out - the instructions on the portion said half the pack (it was a little one) - I measured it on the scales to be sure I was splitting it equally, but caught myself thinking "maybe just another one". I didn't though. Then, as I was thinking I was pretty hungry, I debated added a sweet potato to the potato I was chopping for oven-baked wedges. Why??? I realised as soon as I'd cut the potato up that there was more than enough there for one, and put the sweet potato back. Then measuring out the frozen peas and sweetcorn I was thinking "well, doesn't look like much, and this is veg so better to fill up on this". I put them away at that point.
My concept of what will fill me up seems to have got completely warped - I think that for the rest of the week I shall try and concentrate on keeping portions small, and I can go back for something else if I'm genuinely still hungry - going to be the only way to break myself out of it.
I was very good and went to the gym this evening after work, despite feeling less than enthusiastic on the way home in the car. So to gain some enthusiasm, I put my motivations list to good use. I mentally went over all the reasons I want to succeed at this, and how well I've done already, and by the time I got onto the drive, I knew that it was worth going and found the enthusiasm to go. I feel good for that, although I have come to the conclusion that I need to book an appointment to see the resident physio at the gym. The twinges in my leg are still there, and were pretty painful while I was doing abs work after my cardio - I guess you tense more muscles than you know when you're doing floor work. Annoying, as I don't want it to get in the way of my exercising.
Finally, I'm trying very hard to work out my feelings, now that my flatmate has joined WW's too. I didn't really want her to as I'm feeling selfish about my losses - maybe I just don't want to share the glory, and I certainly don't want it to turn into some sort of competition. So I suppose I view it as both a good and bad thing that her boyfriend has decided to do it with her, albeit without actually joining himself. On the upside, this probably means that any competitiveness on her part will be directed towards him, as will her need to discuss it. The downside (brace yourself - this sounds terrible) - the two of them together are far more likely to stick to it and do well (ugh - ugly sentiment that one). Why can't I just wish them well? I think it's because they've only decided to do it "because you've done so well". I think I feel a little patronised (i.e. well it must be easy then) and that they're jumping on the bandwagon now they've seen it will work. I have to find a positive side to this .... I'm trying, really I am ....
Monday, 9 March 2009
The good, the bad and the ugly
The good first - I was really pleased to see that the scales had climbed down 3 lbs at this morning's weigh in, showing me 15st 5lbs. I've been waiting to see that for a couple of weeks now as that finally gives me my second shiny silver 7 star - although in fact it's pink on my WW's tracker! Whatever colour it is - I'm very pleased to see it there - that's one little mountain conquered and out the way.
The bad - now that I'm starting to see a difference in my size because all my clothes are sitting better, I'm back to shopaholic mode - damnit!!! My earlier sentiment of not wanting to buy too much because (hopefully) I won't be wearing it for too long, has now been replaced with the glee of trying things on and having them fit. I went to Oxford on Saturday to meet one of my ex-uni housemates and I ended up lightening my purse by about £120 - oooops!!! Now I've had time to come home and think about it, I'm going to take two of the tops back I think and get £70 of that back. On the upside, I was delighted to try a load of tops on in Freespirit that were all 16's and they all fitted. I know that it's mostly because they were all stretchy ones, but the point is that they all looked pretty good. I'm not really a 16 yet, but it's such a nice indication of what's to come. I settled on just purchasing one - a really cute red t-shirt from Animal - I figure that with it being a 16 I should get quite a bit of wear out of it as I lose weight. Also picked up a plain-ish white top from Next for work (an 18 that one, but it's for wearing straight away, and I tend to find their sizing a bit unforgiving on me). There was also a lovely light chiffon like top in grey with flamingo's printed all over and a tie-belt - it was really pretty and girly, but I figure £28 for a top I might not wear for that long is a bit pricey, so I'll take that one back and a jumper from Fat Face that I had second thoughts about when I got home. Going to have to remind myself that I need to be thinking short-term for the moment!
And finally the ugly - I have to laugh at this one really!! I met up with my new fitness buddy Ed yesterday for the first time to go mountain-biking (and no - I'm not saying he's ugly - that would just be rude!!! Stop jumping to conclusions you lot!). It looked nice enough when he picked me up at 10am - nice blue skies - but as we drove towards the Forest of Dean the weather started to look distinctly wet. Luckily, I'd packed a waterproof as a last minute thought, but I was wondering if we were actually going to set out in this torrential downpour ... and apparently the answer was yes! We were pretty much soaked in about 10 mins, but we bravely ventured out on to the singletrack course to give it a bash.
Now for those of you not sure what singletrack is, it's basically a set trail for mountain bikers - usually full of technical obstacles - steep, tricky inclines and descents, switchback corners, narrow stone or log "bridges" you have to ride over and natural obstacles like tree-roots criss-crossing the path. I've never done singletrack before, although it's something I've wanted to have a bash at since starting biking again last year. Luckily, I bought my current bike with this in mind, and it's up to the job .... the question is was I? The course at the Forest of Dean is graded as red (same system they use for ski pistes), which means whilst it isn't long (only just over 3 miles), it's designed with intermediate / experienced riders in mind.
And my god, it was fun!!! I thought my heart was going to give out on some of the climbs, and my legs on some of the descents - but there's a hell of a buzz in charging headlong down ridiculously steep slopes or navigating a series of drops and conquering the climbs. We finished splattered head to toe in mud, and decided that since this was my first time, rather than risk doing the whole thing again and making a mistake because I was tired, we'd cool down on some of the open trails in forest. Cue the ugly bit - as I was tearing down the last descent on the way home, I looked up to see a fallen tree blocking the trail. I hadn't looked up in time to see how Ed got round it, so I just slammed on the brakes and tried to skirt it - still pretty much going at full speed at this point. I nearly made it .... soooo close!!! Sadly, I managed to slip and plant my front wheel straight in the ditch at the side of the trail ... and sailed straight over the handlebars with the bike following me in a perfect somersault - beautiful!!! Consequently, I face-planted on the muddy trail with the bike on top - thank god it's not heavy.
I got off pretty lightly really - it didn't really hurt too much other than the indignity of being dumped in the mud at speed. Of course when I got back and went to change (having just sluiced off my legs and feet with the same jet-spray I'd used on the bike - wasn't going to make a lot of difference to how wet I was by then!) I discovered that I scraped a really nice set of patches off my elbow where I'd landed and now have a spectacular lump on it. Additionally, I've got another bruised lump on my hand, and a whole set of big bright blue bruises (oooh - look at that alliteration!) with angry red scrapes all over the fronts and sides of my legs - d'oh!! Still - amazingly for how bad it looks - it's still not that sore - only my elbows really a bit tender, but I'm going to have to get a new helmet after shattering the visor off mine. On the upside I wasn't the only one to fall - Ed went over on the singletrack so I didn't feel too embarrassed about it.
One hell of a bike ride, but actually I feel like I achieved something - I've been a bit scared to tackle singletrack because I kept worrying that there'd be loads of super-fit guys tearing round it yelling at me to get out of the way, but I really enjoyed, and now I know I can do it! I now also have that critical first fall out of the way and it hasn't put me off at all - yay!!
In other news, I went to a house-party on Friday night - and I could have hugged my flatmate when she saw me just as I was going out and exclaimed "oooh - you look so slim!!!". Quite an ego-boost!! And actually I just saw a photo taken during the evening, and it's not so bad.
I also feel a little selfish and guilty - my flatmate has just told me that, as I'm doing so well on WW's, she's thinking of giving it a go, and I half don't want her too - how awful is that? I think it's two things really - firstly, I feel like this is my sucess story for once and I don't want to share it - bad Sue!!! Stop that!!! Secondly, she can be very competitive and I don't want this to turn into a competition or a race. Oh well, if she does join up, I shall just have to make sure I'm supportive but maybe keep my progress to myself and hope that I can squash my own competitive feelings - sometimes I wish I could just grow up and act like an adult!!!!
And, one last thing, to end on a positive note - I just realised in the car on the way home, that in theory, if I can keep losing roughly 7lbs a month, I could be at or close to goal by the time I go away windsurfing in November. I cannot tell you how inspiring a thought that is for me!!!!
Sorry this turned into a bit of an epic!!
The bad - now that I'm starting to see a difference in my size because all my clothes are sitting better, I'm back to shopaholic mode - damnit!!! My earlier sentiment of not wanting to buy too much because (hopefully) I won't be wearing it for too long, has now been replaced with the glee of trying things on and having them fit. I went to Oxford on Saturday to meet one of my ex-uni housemates and I ended up lightening my purse by about £120 - oooops!!! Now I've had time to come home and think about it, I'm going to take two of the tops back I think and get £70 of that back. On the upside, I was delighted to try a load of tops on in Freespirit that were all 16's and they all fitted. I know that it's mostly because they were all stretchy ones, but the point is that they all looked pretty good. I'm not really a 16 yet, but it's such a nice indication of what's to come. I settled on just purchasing one - a really cute red t-shirt from Animal - I figure that with it being a 16 I should get quite a bit of wear out of it as I lose weight. Also picked up a plain-ish white top from Next for work (an 18 that one, but it's for wearing straight away, and I tend to find their sizing a bit unforgiving on me). There was also a lovely light chiffon like top in grey with flamingo's printed all over and a tie-belt - it was really pretty and girly, but I figure £28 for a top I might not wear for that long is a bit pricey, so I'll take that one back and a jumper from Fat Face that I had second thoughts about when I got home. Going to have to remind myself that I need to be thinking short-term for the moment!
And finally the ugly - I have to laugh at this one really!! I met up with my new fitness buddy Ed yesterday for the first time to go mountain-biking (and no - I'm not saying he's ugly - that would just be rude!!! Stop jumping to conclusions you lot!). It looked nice enough when he picked me up at 10am - nice blue skies - but as we drove towards the Forest of Dean the weather started to look distinctly wet. Luckily, I'd packed a waterproof as a last minute thought, but I was wondering if we were actually going to set out in this torrential downpour ... and apparently the answer was yes! We were pretty much soaked in about 10 mins, but we bravely ventured out on to the singletrack course to give it a bash.
Now for those of you not sure what singletrack is, it's basically a set trail for mountain bikers - usually full of technical obstacles - steep, tricky inclines and descents, switchback corners, narrow stone or log "bridges" you have to ride over and natural obstacles like tree-roots criss-crossing the path. I've never done singletrack before, although it's something I've wanted to have a bash at since starting biking again last year. Luckily, I bought my current bike with this in mind, and it's up to the job .... the question is was I? The course at the Forest of Dean is graded as red (same system they use for ski pistes), which means whilst it isn't long (only just over 3 miles), it's designed with intermediate / experienced riders in mind.
And my god, it was fun!!! I thought my heart was going to give out on some of the climbs, and my legs on some of the descents - but there's a hell of a buzz in charging headlong down ridiculously steep slopes or navigating a series of drops and conquering the climbs. We finished splattered head to toe in mud, and decided that since this was my first time, rather than risk doing the whole thing again and making a mistake because I was tired, we'd cool down on some of the open trails in forest. Cue the ugly bit - as I was tearing down the last descent on the way home, I looked up to see a fallen tree blocking the trail. I hadn't looked up in time to see how Ed got round it, so I just slammed on the brakes and tried to skirt it - still pretty much going at full speed at this point. I nearly made it .... soooo close!!! Sadly, I managed to slip and plant my front wheel straight in the ditch at the side of the trail ... and sailed straight over the handlebars with the bike following me in a perfect somersault - beautiful!!! Consequently, I face-planted on the muddy trail with the bike on top - thank god it's not heavy.
I got off pretty lightly really - it didn't really hurt too much other than the indignity of being dumped in the mud at speed. Of course when I got back and went to change (having just sluiced off my legs and feet with the same jet-spray I'd used on the bike - wasn't going to make a lot of difference to how wet I was by then!) I discovered that I scraped a really nice set of patches off my elbow where I'd landed and now have a spectacular lump on it. Additionally, I've got another bruised lump on my hand, and a whole set of big bright blue bruises (oooh - look at that alliteration!) with angry red scrapes all over the fronts and sides of my legs - d'oh!! Still - amazingly for how bad it looks - it's still not that sore - only my elbows really a bit tender, but I'm going to have to get a new helmet after shattering the visor off mine. On the upside I wasn't the only one to fall - Ed went over on the singletrack so I didn't feel too embarrassed about it.
One hell of a bike ride, but actually I feel like I achieved something - I've been a bit scared to tackle singletrack because I kept worrying that there'd be loads of super-fit guys tearing round it yelling at me to get out of the way, but I really enjoyed, and now I know I can do it! I now also have that critical first fall out of the way and it hasn't put me off at all - yay!!
In other news, I went to a house-party on Friday night - and I could have hugged my flatmate when she saw me just as I was going out and exclaimed "oooh - you look so slim!!!". Quite an ego-boost!! And actually I just saw a photo taken during the evening, and it's not so bad.
I also feel a little selfish and guilty - my flatmate has just told me that, as I'm doing so well on WW's, she's thinking of giving it a go, and I half don't want her too - how awful is that? I think it's two things really - firstly, I feel like this is my sucess story for once and I don't want to share it - bad Sue!!! Stop that!!! Secondly, she can be very competitive and I don't want this to turn into a competition or a race. Oh well, if she does join up, I shall just have to make sure I'm supportive but maybe keep my progress to myself and hope that I can squash my own competitive feelings - sometimes I wish I could just grow up and act like an adult!!!!
And, one last thing, to end on a positive note - I just realised in the car on the way home, that in theory, if I can keep losing roughly 7lbs a month, I could be at or close to goal by the time I go away windsurfing in November. I cannot tell you how inspiring a thought that is for me!!!!
Sorry this turned into a bit of an epic!!
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