Rejection

It's funny, isn't it, how even when you've already told yourself in your head that you didn't get the job, you're still disappointed when someone else tells you that for sure.

I didn't get the job.

And even though I'd been sure that there would be better candidates than me, I'd secretly started making little plans in my head for how I'd get to work every day (cycle - how exciting!) and how good it would be, because that's what we do.

I think more than the disappointment of the rejection from this job specifically, I'm depressed that it's been 5 weeks of job-hunting and I've got nothing whatsoever to show for it. I'm right back at square 1, burning through what savings I've got and with the whole process to start again. And because I'm living at dad's to save money every time I get an interview I have to drive across the country to London for it which is more expense.

The job was with England Rugby at Twickenham, so was pretty damn exciting, what with it being the World Cup this year. It wasn't meant to be, but I can't help feeling that any other job opportunities from the agent will be distinctly less exciting than that one.

For extra funsies, my flatmate-to-be has just been headhunted for and accepted an amazing new job so is all excited and wants to be excited for me too .... except I can't provide that. I'm super pleased for her (utterly genuinely - she deserves that job as she's amazing at what she does) but getting a bit depressed by hers and everyone else's texts every 5 mins asking if there's any news.

If there were news, I'd tell them.

So yeah, sorry for being a bit bleak this morning .... turns out being unemployed makes me feel like less of a person. Fingers crossed for a breakthrough soon please, before I cease to exist altogether.

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