Yesterday was a friend's funeral - I wasn't going (too far and it was already massively over-attended for the venue) but it was all over Facebook as we all said our personal goodbyes. Yesterday was an old friend's wedding, but I wasn't invited for political reasons along with a handful of others, and had to watch all our other friends plus 150 others go off to enjoy the celebrations and try not feel left out. Yesterday I found out that I got screwed over on a recent sale I made on eBay and had to sort it all out including refunding the buyer and ending up out of pocket ... the last thing was the smallest, but the straw that broke the proverbial camel.
It ended up being a day of complete emotional turmoil - I should have seen it coming but I didn't and it knocked me sideways. And yeah, I'm human, and I'm now embarrassed that I screamed .... and I mean absolutely SCREAMED .... at my dad when he said the wrong thing and put me over the edge.
Being human is letting yourself feel all those emotions. I screamed, I cried hard (in the privacy of my bedroom, because I'm still not that liberated about crying in front of other people), I slept for a while then I stayed by myself and watched some films and read for the rest of the day.
Yeah - I'm sorry that my dad got blasted by it, although honestly it might teach him a bit of tact on a day when I was obviously teetering close to the emotional edge .... or since he's a man and probably didn't clock that, just some general tact. If a 34 year old woman snaps at you for (apparently) no reason ..... telling her to not to sulk is probably never going to elicit a good response. But that's dad for you.
But here's the positive - I felt all the emotions, I didn't eat them. In fact, I didn't even eat lunch in the end.
Now I just need to work out how to get back to facing the world again, as I haven't quite forgiven dad yet, which is a bit awkward when I'm currently living his house.
Oh .... and the weigh in: stay the same.
I'm not frustrated by that for 3 reasons: I lost quite a bit the week before, my eating's still not 100% although there's good choices being made, and I weighed in earlier than normal yesterday morning (early hair appointment) so I probably had actually lost a little.
This week's non-scale victories: went to the cinema on Wednesday night with snacks in my bag - didn't bother eating them, went to my first gym class since being home and not eating all the sadness yesterday!
Keep it up!
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