Friday, 31 July 2009

Be strong

Another shitty, crappy, stressy day; another day repeating the mantra to myself - I will not let this ruin my eating for the day.

End of.

Thursday, 30 July 2009

Random musings

The de-bloat continues. It was absolutely crap weather last night, leaving me with a choice of getting completely drenched running outside, heading to the gym or copping out altogether. Gym it was then. Just a quick 45 min session - 15 min X-trainer, 15 min run on the treadmill, 10 min row (2k distance) and 5 min cool down on the stationary bike.

My eating was pretty on par yesterday, so I've pulled back some of my cock-up from Monday night. Honestly, my eating wasn't quite as good today, but not altogether bad, and with the judicious application of a truly ferocious Body Combat class this evening, I've banked another little bit against the points overspend.

In fact it turns out that I had a lot of pent-up aggression to vent in tonight's class, and it felt goooooooood. I've had a crappy, stressful day at work, but it went hand-in-hand with a bit of self-discovery, so not an entirely wasted day. We had a working lunch buffet today, because my boss is heading off on maternity leave tomorrow (and yes, I was good - one plate from the buffet, including a healthy sandwich, and then leave it alone), and since there were loads of goodies left, the platters got bought through to the office during the afternoon.

With all the stressiness going on, I found myself pinching another cocktail sausage from the platter as I wandered past without really thinking about it. Then I found myself sitting at my desk thinking well, if I'm just going past anyway on the way to get a drink, what do I fancy? Then I found myself wondering why I wanted food when I wasn't hungry and had been pretty well-behaved at lunch - why cock it up now? I've realised that I am in fact a stress-eater. The anticipation of food felt like it would numb the stress - which of course it wouldn't, well not permanently, it would just distract me temporarily with feelings of instant gratification (shortly to be followed by feelings of remorse I should imagine).

The good thing with making a realisation like that is that every subsequent time you walk past the platter, you're more determined not to give in. I just had a lot of shitty stressiness to get rid of at Combat instead, but I reckon that just means I burned a few extra calories off.

I've also spent that last couple of days with some words floating round my head in a loop:

FASTER FITTER LIGHTER STRONGER

They just seem to totally sum up where I want to be at the end of this. I find as I go along this journey, that some of my focus seems to more and more end up on the physical abilities side of things. This is ever clearer to me when I do things like mountain-biking with the boys, or think about the snow-boarding I'll do come the winter, and I want to be able to keep up and push myself like they do, and to be more agile and sure of my movements. I find the more little break-throughs I make with my fitness, the more I want to make.

I'm especially fascinated by blogs and videos of extreme sports on the internet. I look at the bike stunts and the wind-surfing tricks and I want to be able to do that kind of thing should I choose to. Last night I stumbled across Summer Gravity Camp, and I want to go and do it more than you could believe. It's an intense week of downhill mountain-biking that takes place at Whistler in Canada every year - coaching provided by some of the best bikers in the world for people of all standards from novice to expert - all you need is the biking bug and the balls to get out there and try it. Most of the weeks are aimed at kids and young people, but the last week of every season is an adults-only camp, and the more I read about it, the more I wanted to go - getting to goal would be a major step along the way to realising little dreams like that.

And one final thing I shall leave you with - a little trite perhaps but it works for me. While I was thinking about the whole stress-eating thing in the car on the way home, it struck me that that little saying about work, applies just as much to eating - so here's my thought for the day:

Eat to live, NOT live to eat.

Wednesday, 29 July 2009

The post-holiday de-bloat

After last night's dinner debacle (god, I love a bit good alliteration - so satisfying lol), I'm back on the foodie straight and narrow, with no plans to eat out again any time this week. Wait for it, there's sure to be a deluge of dinner invitations now, just because I've said that!

Tonight's entertainment is due to consist of putting washing in the machine, most likely straight from my rucksack as I have done absolutely zero unpacking as yet, and being dragged out the door on a 5k run with Sid. I think this is my penance for last night.

I've not been running regularly the last couple of weeks, and I have a sneaking suspicion that that will make tonight's run alarmingly hard work. Sid maintains that it's a "nice" 5k route - I don't trust him. And to be fair I don't think there is actually such a thing as a "nice" 5k - so I'll just settle for death not being the outcome. I think it might be a close run thing though. (Ok - here's where my twisted imagination runs riot - in my head I've now got an image of me, Sid, and a cartoon style Death in all his very tall, black-robed, boney glory running along together.)

Not so much else I have to say today - I'm kind of feeling bloated and gross from everything I've eaten over the last week at the moment, although I don't know how much of it is psychological vs physical, so can't wait to get a few days proper clean eating and exercising under my belt so I can start to feel normal again.

Tuesday, 28 July 2009

Disaster dinner

Sometimes, with the best will in the world, the gods are just against you.

I emailed Sid this afternoon to ask if he'd like to come round for dinner this evening, since I haven't seen him since before I went away. The reply came back saying that he was meeting a friend for dinner at the pub and I should join them. I checked my points, thought what the hell, I've got enough for that, and after a quick and very leafy sprint round the supermarket (lots and lots of lovely veggies gracing the inside of my fridge now!), I joined them up there.

Now, let me be clear on this point - I thought this all through, down to the potential food choices before I even got to the pub. I was either going to have the soup of the day or pasta with a tomato sauce - both well within my points.

The boys wanted a starter and main, so with that in mind, I did a slight re-jig and opted for the pasta, but garlic prawns instead as the soup of the day was tomato as well. Garlic prawns thought I - how bad can it be - a small dish with some prawns, garlic, onion and probably a bit of butter. A couple of points at worst

Fuck me, but they were literally swimming in a cream sauce when they arrived. With bread on the side. Ok, fine, I can deal with that - they tasted good and I left some of the sauce. Besides, I thought smugly, I've got a healthy main.

Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but when I order something that is listed as a "delicious tomato and basil sauce on fresh tagliatelle", I expect there to actually be a tomato sauce. As in - a tomato base, with visible herbs, and possibly some other chunky veg thrown in.

Nope.

Fucking cream sauce, with random chunks of raw tomato stirred in. I'm not kidding - there was no tomato in the sauce base whatsoever - it was cream and possibly white wine. And the tomato chunks were pretty much just about warmed through, but that was it - definitely, in no way, shape or form cooked. And basil? Not that I could see.

I was gutted - I was so looking forward to my plate of lovely tangy sauce, and I was faced with a bowl of cream with some pasta swimming in it. Worse still, I don't even like raw tomato. Adore it when it's cooked; not so much when it's raw.

Sid took pity on my distressed expression and swapped dinners with me, but since he had pasta with chicken and bacon (also in a, you guessed it, cream sauce), it wasn't any better points-wise, just tastier from my point of view. And all with more freaking bread on the side.

I am sooooooo unamused.

So my points are screwed for today - I reckon I'm about 10 over for the day. I didn't eat all the cream sauce with the prawns, and to be honest, I only ate just over half the pasta as it was just too rich, but I've estimated the points on the cautious side.

Restaurants should be far more careful with their descriptions - a "tomato and basil sauce" is not the same as a "creamy sauce with fresh tomato" which is what the menu should have said.

I'm not the happiest bunny right now. :o(

Damage report

Big breath .....

4lbs on.

Well, it could have been worse I suppose. A bit depressing, but hey, holiday happens but once a .... well, 4 or 5 times a year.

I'm pointing again properly today, and in a weird way I'm looking forward to a quiet evening at home. No alcohol. Just as much food as I need and no more. No drinking games to tempt me. No staying up ridiculously late.

On the other hand, no friends, as they're pretty much all still in Scotlandio without me. Sob.

I want to do a gym workout this evening, but I'm also in desperate need of doing a food shop and running errands, so I might have to go for a ride or run later in the evening or something similar, as I'm going to run out of time otherwise.

The one awesome thing about last week was how active I was. Most days we were out - I went out on my bike 3 times, including an epic mountain bike ride with the boys, Andy and Tim, on Sunday. We tackled the Fire Tower Trail near Lochgilphead, and although 6 of us started out - 4 girls (my friends Hannah, Nia and Bridget) and 2 guys, the other 3 girls caved fairly quickly and headed back to the car. From an entirely selfish point view this was actually quite a relief as it meant we could really pick up the pace, stop waiting half-way up hills (and a quarter of the way up, and three-quarters of the way up ...) and really pelt down the downhill sections.

Far more technical than anything I'd done before (i.e. a damn-site steeper .... new trousers were required after a couple of sections ;o)) and challenging, and with just the three of us, I became tail-end Charlie, meaning I had to work my socks off to keep up with the boys. I freakin' loved it. It was the first time I've actually done downhill that was demanding enough that I had to drop my saddle down in order to hang off the back of the bike, and also my first go at a water-splash (it was only 20cm's deep, but we've all got to start somewhere!).

We did a 2 and a half hour walk across country on another afternoon, which was glorious, scrambling up and down hills, and hopping across bogs and streams. It's funny how much more challenging and interesting it is when you're walking on moorland that is a footpath-free zone - wading through waist-high bracken and having to pick your feet up extra high in the heather - you can practically feel the toning effect on your bum!

We rowed out to some of the islands in the loch in the old boat - it's about half an hour's solid rowing each way with a 8 or 9 foot oar - having to keep time with the other rowers and concentrating hard, but worth it when you moor up on a desserted heather-strewn island to eat your picnic and explore the ruined churches and bothies.

We spent a day down at the beach, shrimping in the shallows (i.e. running up and down with a net in front of you in the hope of catching something), dodging the monster red jellyfish (the bastards are a foot or so across) and then I tried my hand at a bit of windsurfing on Graeme's rig. Somewhat challenging as he uses a smaller board than I'm used to and a bigger sail, but I got up and going in the end. Minor problem when I came to tack and turn back though as I was wobbling all over the place and then promptly fell in and flipped the board upside down. You've never seen anyone get the board the right way up again and back up on it so quickly as me, when I looked down in the clear waters and realised there were about half a dozen big jellyfish floating in a ring around my feet!!!! Major fright! I did eventually manage to get back to shore without any stings, but I did fall off again and smack my head on the board on the way down, which is still a bit sore. Still, if it weren't for the jellyfish, it would have been a fun session of windsurfing.

I think I had one quiet day when I stayed at the cottage and crashed out, but I still pulled my running gear on in the afternoon and went out for a half hour jog up to the end of the lane and back.

So really, it was just the food that did me in. My meal time choices were generally fine, it was all the eating between meals that really did me in. That and the fact that I used the excuse of all the exercise as a get-out for snacking on returning to the cottage in the afternoons.

One thing that did make me feel really happy - one of the guys up there, Andy, was ridiculously fit - he climbs, mountain bikes (100 miles in a day!), walks, plays football, and it shows. So how chuffed did I feel when for some reason someone asked him what he weighed, and he said 14 st something - I know he's a guy, so it's a bit different, but it felt uber-good for me to weigh less than someone that fit and healthy for once.

And another good thing - I saw a picture that my friend Bec took of me in my wetsuit down at the beach - and it didn't look hideous. Good lord, I hear you say!

So there we go - holiday over, reparations began this morning, and hopefully I'll see the scales drop away again this week. For one thing, my metabolisms going to be a bit like Wil E Coyote running over the cliff this week - after all that food last week it's going to be scrabbling around wondering what the hell happened!

3 weeks tomorrow til I head to Croatia, and I'd like to have made a little bit more progress before I go!

Monday, 27 July 2009

Honey - I'm HOOOOOME!

And really, really, really not looking forward to stepping on the scales tomorrow morning. There will be damage - it's really just a question of how much, but I'm fully expecting it could be anything up to a 7lb gain or so.

The plan just didn't really happen in the end. Well, the food side of it didn't anyway. I've been pretty active this week - I've rowed, walked, run, biked, fished and windsurfed, but I've also eaten like a big, fat piggie. It could have been worse I suppose - at least I made small changes like consciously picking slimline G & T instead of wine, but there has been sooooo much food, and no food diarying at all - it just went out the window.

It's been a whirlwind week of fun, and now it's back to the grind of ordinary life. In a way, I'm quite relieved to be pointing normally again as of tomorrow morning - I'll take the damage on the chin and get it straightened out, then see if I can lose a bit more before I ship out to Croatia in a couple of weeks.

On the upside - I've got a great tan now lol. And the usual collection of bumps and bruises!

Saturday, 18 July 2009

40lbs!!

Guys!!! (Spot the fact I'm a little bit excited!)

See that tracker over on the left? See what it says? Just over 40lbs gone, and less than 30lbs to go!!! I am literally 1lb off losing 3 stone, and once I'm there then it's less than 2 stone to go, and to me saying oh, I've only got 1 stone something left to lose sounds soooooooo much better :o)

As you may have guessed, I managed to lose again this week. Despite my foody ups and downs and a small sprinkling of chaos thrown in I lost another 1.5lb on my short week from Monday to Saturday. I wanted to have lost 3 stone before I went to Scotland but I'm happy that this is totally close enough!

The next week's going to be a bit different to usual what with being on holiday and away from the computer but I'm going to try and make it an ok one anyway. I've got to start my packing in a sec, and then I'll be gone, gone, gone for about 10 days. Wish me luck! I'm going to miss my daily session of chit-chat and catching up on what you're all up to while I'm gone. Don't let me down - be good little troopers while I'm gone - I want to come back to read all about your fabulous losses and achievements!

Better go start the dreaded packing I guess - I've been putting it off for long enough! lol