Monday, 2 August 2010

Happy sad

I just got a text to say that my good friends Graeme and Bec have got engaged. Which is fantastic, and I can't think of two nicer people it could happen to.

So why do I feel sad?

I feel left out - they're up in Scotland with everyone else, and I'm not there. I feel like yet another big event has happened in the group and I'm on the outside again, because I've chosen to do something different this summer. Irrational I know, but I feel sad I've missed this - something that will be talked about for years and I wasn't there.

Logically, I know I can't do everything and be everywhere, and one of the reasons I didn't go to Scotland is that I've been feeling so stuck in a rut, and a bit claustrophobic with everyone settling down, so I picked travelling adventures instead. I still feel sad though. And not a little because it's another couple of my friends moving on with their lives into territory I can't.

I hate that I feel sad about such a happy thing. It makes me think I should move away and try and get on with my life, even though the loudest protestors to that plan are the very people who are settling down.

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