Tuesday, 24 January 2012

I Swear

Today I shall mostly be swearing on two counts:

  1. That I will make today a good day on food. 
  2. There will be loud, cursing every time I move today because yesterday's Body Balance has broken me!
My eating has not been good recently, which I don't think I've hidden from you.  I'm struggling with the scales and it's frustrating me.  I've been here before, but rather than learning from it, it's like it's the same old struggle, and yet also new and impossible.  Every time.  The only way to deal with this is commit. 

I know that that's exactly what I've done before.  I reach my tipping point, and then for no obvious reason I can suddenly commit.  Yesterday, I think I committed every cardinal sin of eating in the goddamn book.  I ate when I wasn't hungry when I got to work and gave into the craving for a toast teacake, just an hour and  a bit after I'd eaten cereal for breakfast.  I ate when I wasn't hungry when I worried that I needed to eat before Body Balance at lunchtime and had soup and a sandwich.  I was very late home from work (ha! No run either then!) and we massively over-order takeaway because we were starving (and were having Chinese to celebrate the Chinese New Year) - a rookie mistake if I ever made one.  Then we had a piece of toast to tide us over til it arrived, but of course by the time it arrived we weren't really that hungry any more.  But.  We.  Still.  Overate.  Stuffed ourselves uncomfortably full.

I feel it today - that horrible salted, MSG-laden bloat.  I also faced the scales and saw the horrible truth of a new highest weight as a result.

Yep - today is definitely a good day to be good.  And then tomorrow.  And the day after.  But one day at a time until I can re-find the habit.  I want to be able to come on here tomorrow and say "I ate well yesterday and stuck to my points"!

On the second point - I can't believe how much I ache today.  My butt is sore as.  And my shoulders / upper arms are tight.  My abs?  Coughing is a carefully martialled military exercise today which leaves me groaning.

It's not just me either - I work with a lovely lady named Lili, who happens to be world champion in her Tai Kwondo discipline (I know!  How cool is that??).  We sometimes go to class together, and she confirmed that her butt is done in today too.  I'm glad that I'm not alone!

Still - it's a reminder of what's weak and what's strong, and that I did something yesterday to try and change that. 

Right - I'm off to work hard, and eat well today.


Linz M said...

I am so with you on this one. I am totally struggling to focus on eating well too. Trying to take it one day at a time. One meal at a time even. Exercise is going well - I just can't do the rest for some stupid reason.

We can do it (well you certainly have proved you can...) xx

Seren said...

I don't think it is the same old struggle, because you are very good at quickly identifying where you are falling down and which areas you need to focus on. I think everyone (including people who have never had a weight issue) eats when they are not hungry or eats too much of something from time to time. The ability to recognise when you're doing it and regroup before too much damage is done is what is key.

I hope today went well (both foodwise and non foodwise!)