Sunday, 10 January 2010

Melt down

Crap, crap, crap!!

I don't know what's wrong with me, but the past couple of days I seem to have gone into free-fall melt down.

After one good day's eating, it went bad again. I'm struggling to get through the days without messing it up. I taking each day as they come but my weight's wobbling around back up between 12st 11 and 12st 9. I'm desperately trying to find equilibrium.

On top of that I'm making stupid decisions elsewhere in my life. My spending's out of control, my home is total tip which makes me feel unbalanced, and 8 days in to the New Year I made the mother of all bad decisions with a friend of mine, which I'm scared will wreck several friendships - I don't know what I was thinking but apparently my need for affection over-rode all the warning bells. I don't feel good about it and right now I'm carrying quite a lot of guilt round with me.

Bloody hell - I need to pull myself together and get a grip.

3 comments:

~ugly girl with a beautiful heart~ said...

Take a breath and start over. Get a little you time in today, think over everything that's happened, and be prepared for any possible outcomes. You can't control what's going to happen love, you can only control how YOU will react to it. Good luck!

Linz M said...

Try not to beat yourself up over what has happened. We're only human and we all make bad decisions from time to time. Hopefully it won't be as bad as you think.

With the eating situation, I totally know where you are coming from. Its not easy staying on the straight and narrow but we'll get there.

Hugs xx

Lorr74 said...

I'm sure it won't be as bad as you think love. As the others have said, we all make mistakes or make the wrong decision, its how you deal with it that makes you a better person. It the bad things that we learn from. Don't beat yourself up. Draw a line n step over it, tomo is a new day xx