Wednesday, 13 October 2010

Still here … like the walking dead

This commute’s really taking it out of me at the moment.  I can just about cope with the getting up early, and I’m surviving the whole being back at a desk 9 to 5 thing, but not getting home til 7 at the earliest after a 2 hour journey is crushing my soul a little bit. 

I was trying to figure out why I’ve been feeling so crippled the last couple of days – listless, and picky and a bit down, but of course I figured it out today – TOTM just seems to have hit me hard this month.  I’m missing my proper workouts at the moment, but I’m just too done-in when I get home to contemplate them right now …. which is bad as I need a short run this week before Sunday’s Real Thing.  I’m actually considering taking my running gear to work and going out for half an hour on my lunch break, but I’m not sure I can face that either.  What I have been doing on my lunch break is walking.  Half an hour each day so far.  I’ve also swapped the bus-stop I’m getting on and off at for one further down the route out of town.  As well as being twice the walk from the office (20 mins each way instead of 10), it also has the advantage that it avoids the worst of the city traffic, so it’s marginally quicker too.  Without any other exercise, I’m finding I’m actively looking forward to my walks, which if nothing else are clocking me up a steady 3.5 bonus points a day.

Food’s about 90% of where it should be.  I’m probably eating a few too many of the chocolates from the communal tin (let’s blame the raging hormones for that, shall we?), but I’m trying hard to track every one of them.  Monday and Tuesday I had a few points to bank against my weekend deficit.  Today, I would have had, but then I had to be honest and write down the miniature box of 4 individually decorated fudge pieces that I savoured after dinner.  So that’s 1 point back on the deficit instead.

I can’t say how I feel about this week’s weigh in as it slowly edges closer.  In myself I feel a bit bloated and grumpy, and know I haven’t been eating as cleanly as I have in the weeks when I’ve been home, even though I’m still eating about the same number of overall points as I did on those weeks. On the other hand, my skinny jeans are fitting better than ever, and are virtually a perfect fit round the waist now, so who the hell knows!!??!

One thing that did cross my mind earlier, as I walked across the harbour this evening, was that this is the first time that my work colleagues have only known me as the smaller me I am now.  Someone who can run a 10k this weekend, and goes travelling to Central America, and wears a size 14 clothes.  It’s strange, because in some small way it feels like I’ve reinvented myself to be someone I’d be envious of.  And yet it’s still me. 

That’s kind of cool, don’t you think?

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