Good things first - I'm really pleased with how well I'm staying on plan this week. I'm damn near perfect so far, and for once I feel comfortable that I'm also being pretty honest with myself, and not just quietly ignoring things I don't want to admit to eating.
So that's all very well and good.
THE SCALES SCARE ME
So bearing in mind everything I've just said above, there is absolutely no good reason for my sudden irrational fear, mid-way through this week, that things are going wrong on the weight front.
Friday through Monday, I was content to not step on the scales. In fact, in some ways I didn't want to, as I thought that if it was good, I might slack off, and then get disappointed, and if it was bad then I might just get disheartened. All good - I was content to stick to plan and have a pleasant surprise at the end of the week. And I was confident that that was what it would be.
Tuesday? Different story. For some reason, I was suddenly back to doubting myself. True I don't suddenly feel any bigger, but I don't feel smaller either. What if it's not working? It's like my confidence just started draining away over night.
I have to confess that I really thought about standing on those damn scales yesterday morning, but in the end considered that there wasn't any benefit because of my Friday-Monday logic. Dammit though I really wanted the reassurance that those scales could have given me. This morning I was even more tempted, but resisted for the same reason. Only one more morning to get through, and then I can find out.
Logically, I still know that if I stick to the plan, I should lose weight, but I still find it hard to trust myself.
PESKY FOOTWEAR FAILURES
After a couple of days of not getting out the house, other than to go to the gym or running errands, I'm going a little stir-crazy. So I thought a couple of days ago that I should go out for a walk today and get some fresh air, given that I didn't have a gym class planned. I hadn't taken into account however that my evil genius of a circuits instructor would have induced total muscle lockdown this morning.
It was therefore with some reluctance (and difficulty) that I crawled out of bed this morning! My original plan was to climb the Worcestershire Beacon, and then along the hills to the Herefordshire Beacon. I thought I'd have lunch at the nice hotel at that end, and then wander on back.
Daypack on, shoes on, and a gentle stroll up the first hill. I'd worn these shoes on holiday and didn't have any problems with them then, so I assumed they'd be fine when I put them on, but by the time I was nearing the top of the Worcestershire Beacon, I could feel the beginnings of a big blister right on the back of my left heel. Did I soldier on, and know that I'd get my full walk, but probably trash my foot completely for a good week or so in the process, plus be limping painfully a considerabl way before the end of the walk, or shorten my walk? With a couple of weeks of free-time still to fill, I thought a shorter but enjoyable walk might be the better option, but it was a nice morning anyway.
You can tell Autumn is here when you see these on your walk:
But then, as always, the view from top is pretty, whatever the season or the weather:
Note to self - next time don't just trust to new footwear! Not that I could have worn my usual walking trainers anyway, due to a different set of blisters that are still healing .... I don't think my feet are in too good a state after a summer spent wearing flip-flops, as I appear to have no hard skin left at all .... boooooo.
Other than that I've spent the last couple of days putting some of this lot on eBay:
So in summary, tomorrow is just another day - in which I can make good decisions or not, but trust that if I do then I should continue, slowly but surely to lose weight. And without knowing what the scales say, then I have no choice really, but to stick to making those good decisions. I hate putting a number on these things, but if I could just see a lb, or even a 1/2 lb off on Friday, then I would be happier to continue on next week in the same vein.
On a non-scale related note, to add to my spin instructor's compliment on Monday night, last night my circuit's instructor also commented that she thought I'd lost weight (this being a lady who weighs all of 110lbs soaking wet most likely) - thank you Wendy!
And even more amazing, my ex-personal trainer said the following, and I quote: "You're looking great!". Firstly, since he probably hasn't said anything more than hi to me in the last 2 yeares (given he no longer trains me and doesn't have any particular reason to have to play nice with me anymore - which isn't to say he doesn't like me or is rude - just that we don't have any particular friends or stuff in common), that was something of a surprise in itself. But this is also a guy who is seriously into his workouts and appearance. Gym bunny doesn't even begin to describe him. So I take a compliment from him, to pretty much be a compliment of the highest order!
Must remember those and chant it like a mantra should something go awry at the scales on Friday!
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