New plan

It turns out I've figured out how to maintain, but not how to lose at the moment. After an admittedly fairly not-on-plan week I'm back up 2lbs and rather frustrated with myself. On top of that TOTM arrived this morning so that's probably not helping any.

I'm using that frustration to drive me forward. Another clean fresh week in the Weight Watcher tracker and I have to admit that when they're empty they're so full of possibility.

I'm trying a slightly new tack for the next couple of weeks. As I keep tripping up recently and I'm going to try and at least put a little control on the situation and limit that to one day a week. So, and we'll see how this goes, for the next couple of weeks I'm going to have a one day a week, to be used as and when required, when I can eat whatever it is I've been craving and get it out my system.

Let me clarifiy - this is not a binge day or a regularly scheduled free day with a free excuse to go crazy - this is just a way for me to let off a little steam and limit my recent bad eating to one day a week whilst still being mindful, and start to refind my missing mojo.

This week's day was yesterday when I had some pizza and wine - but I watched what I ate for the rest of the day and thoroughly enjoyed everything I ate. The thought of this system leaves me feeling a little more in control and less panicky, as I've been finding the Weight Watchers plan so hard to stick to recently.

I've hit a temporary block whereby I've been at this a while and feel restricted and I'm fighting it. I know that the WW's plan isn't truly restrictive but I'm just finding myself a bit resentful recently of the constant counting and decision-making required. So whilst I get my brain past that point I need to do something to limit the damage and this is my version of a safety-valve - a day in the week when I can have whatever food-of-the-week it is that I've really been wanting without beating myself up.

Exercise this week was good - I've gymmed twice and done Combat and Balance - 4 good workouts.

I've also given myself an incentive to get out of this current pit - if, no when, I get back to 12st 6lbs (4 stone off) I can buy myself the Abercrombie and Fitch jumper I've been salivating over for months now .... never underestimate the power of clothes on me - hopefully the thought of the jumper will win over the food!!!


-- Posted from my iPhone

More woes

For today's tale of trauma, I present exhibit A: my broken down car.

See this face?




Not a happy one, is it? That is the face of some poor schmuck who's just been stung for an extra £90 to join the AA on top of the normal premium, because she forgot to do it earlier.

Booooooo!!

So whilst I'm sitting here slowly losing the sensation in my fingers and toes (it's cold enough to see my breath) and waiting for my knight in a shining recovery van to appear, I thought I'd tag in and say howdee.

I could not stop eating yesterday - just hungry all day!! First thing in the office I was starving but then worked out I was also freezing and put the heater on which seemed to help. But it wasn't a great day overall and I think part of that was because I was in so early getting the deadlines done that it throws my whole food timetable out the window.

By the time I was driving home last night all I could think about was fish and chips, so I stopped off and got myself a little portion with a baby portion of cod and a small portion of chips, and I savoured every mouthful.

Today, if and when I ever get to work, we've got lunch out at the dreaded buffet to celebrate my friend going on maternity leave. Everytime we go to that buffet I get a little better at figuring out the choices, so let's hope I can continue that trend today. At least I've got a Body Combat class this evening to burn off any indiscretions!!

I'm going to sit in the cold now and read all your posts from the last 24 hours and resolutely ignore the breakfast van that's about 50m down the layby I'm currently stuck in!

-- Posted from my iPhone

Just a quickie ....

Hey guys,

Just a quick check in on where I'm at today. Had an ok day on the food today, although I got a little too distracted by the goodies that someone had bought back from a weekend trip to Amsterdam. Still - I banked points for the day, so that's not so bad.

Lesson learned for the day - when I'm really, really hungry, it doesn't take that much to fill me up. Get. It. In. My. Thick. Skull. I didn't do too badly at dinner time - I just had half a pack of fresh vegetable ravioli, with a little bit of Flora Extra Light spread, and a sprinkle of half-fat grated cheddar, and then piled the rest of the plate high with fresh spinach. The secret seems to be to make sure everything is suitable seasoned so that I can properly taste it and therefore remember eating each bit, and don't just wolf it down in a rush.

I missed my spin class (again) today as I was late leaving the office, but I shuffled off to the gym to do 45 mins cardio anyway, so I've done my thing and got my sweat on for the day.

Yet again this week, I'm planning on trying to stay away from the alcohol and get plenty of activity and sleep in. Same old, same old.

Only other news is that I've just finished re-writing my CV and have shot it off to the first recruitment consultant. Eeeeek! Either everything will go in a rush now and I won't know where I'm at, or nothing at all will happen. Just have to wait and see, I guess, but it was time to stop moaning about my job and do something about it. Especially as they announced this morning that not only has our bonus from last year been axed (not unduly surprising given the current economic climate, but frustrating as they had us working harder than ever last year to try and hit the targets), but the bonus scheme has now been suspended til further notice (i.e. eternity). So that, together with the pay freeze we're already in the middle of, and the ever increasing hours, is basically a paycut, or a big, fat slap in the face, depending on which way you look at it. I don't like it either way!

That's all from me today, muchacos (or however the hell you spell that) - later!

Snow again.

Oh my lord it's been a busy couple of days, so excuse the absence in blogging!

Thursday night was chaos because the snow suddenly came back, and whilst it was busy snowing hard on my home-town, the area where my office is wasn't seeing any of it, so I kind of had no idea what was going on! Having not looked at a weather forecast in days either, I was totally non-prepared for snow, and was wearing silly pretty shoes and had no warm clothing with me, so you can imagine me getting a little panicked as my friends and Dad all contacted me to say we had 6 inches of snow which was hellishly slippy, and even Jon's 4 wheel drive car couldn't get up the hill home! I don't get a lot of sympathy at work as far as the weather's concerned - they're far more worried about me getting whatever "urgent, critical" deadline it is out the way, but I eventually just decided to leave an hour early to at least try and avoid the rush hour on the way home.

I had a bit of a nightmare journey as I lost control of the car at one point (only going at 30mph on a big open road too) and skidded about 100m before bumping the car in front. Luckily, it was the slowest, gentlest shunt it could possibly have been without avoiding them altogether, and all I've got to show for it is a cracked number plate, but you can imagine I was a bit shaken after that. I also had to stop at the outdoor store on the way home to grab a pair of wellies in case I did have to abandon the car, as I'd very cleverly never put mine back in the car after the last snow a couple of weeks ago, and I'd left the house in little flat leather pumps that morning - genius!

I did eventually make it home in one piece (and ironically all the way up the hill to the flat first time), but saw plenty of cars being pushed, and buses abandoned at the side of the road. Anyway, you can imagine that after that sort of day, I was a bit devil-may-care with my attitude to food in the evening, and I was a few points over in the end.

However .... the scales have been kind to me this week and at weigh in on Friday, I lost ..... duh, duh, duuuuuuuh .... 1.5lbs!!!!

I can't tell you how chuffed I am with that after the funk I've been in recently! The scales actually dropped again yesterday morning too by a couple of lbs, and whilst I know they probably won't stay there just yet, it's so nice to see those numbers again.

Friday was another icky day of stress. After Thursday night's adventures getting home I decided not to brave the snow again and to work from home. Which pissed my boss off. I really don't think she likes me, and as a result she gave me a list of work a mile long to complete so that I could prove I was actually working from home and not annoy my colleagues who don't have the capacity (i.e. a work laptop) to work from home themselves. WTF???? It's not like either of my team-mates care that I work from home occasionally - especially seeing as they both live within 5 miles of work and I live 26 miles away, and we all work as hard as each other (hello - I worked 3 hours over last Friday with bugger all thanks for it). So I fail to see how me having to do extra work to "prove myself" is justified!!!

On top of that, my secure network connection for work started playing silly buggers and was soooooo slow that I wasn't getting anywhere, never mind the ridiculous list of stuff I'd been given to do getting completed. I rang my boss to explain, and to suggest I just book the time off as holiday (which is standard site practice for people taking snow days at my work), and she basically told me I couldn't and if I couldn't do the work at some point over the weekend, I'd have to make up the hours next week. Grrrrrrrr.

Now I think most of this has to do with the fact that she is very stressed out currently and the work is required for a meeting next Wednesday, but the way it was all conveyed to me .... well, it sucked. Extensively. Consequently, I shall be tarting up my CV later this afternoon with a view to approaching the recruitment agencies - I've had enough of this shit. After I've done the sodding work that is!

Once I'd finished gnashing my teeth over the unfairness of it all, I decided it was high time I restocked my pathetically empty fridge with healthy fare for the coming week, and buggered off to the supermarket and shops for a bit of retail therapy. A lot of food, a lovely pair of shoes and a black lacy top later, I was feeling much saner.

I rounded off the day with a lovely meal cooked by Sheena and some trashy rom-coms - The Ugly Truth and The Proposal (both pretty good incidentally).

Yesterday dawned bright, and relatively snow-free, so after a refreshing night's sleep, I voluntarily pulled on my work out gear as soon as I got up and trudged off down the road to the gym for 45 mins sweat. I then sprinted off to meet Jo and Lissa for a day of silliness followed by a cheesey night out. We played indoor mini-golf, danced, took a lot of silly pictures and had fun. Then I went home and felt very sick, because drinking wine kills me at the moment!

Right - I suppose I'd best try and get some of that sodding work done then!

TTFN!

Back in the ring for round 2 (and what the hell are my scales talking about??)

I love you guys. Like seriously, have I mentioned recently how awesome you are. You are world-class at picking me up when I'm edging along the ledge.

Have I also mentioned recently how much I DON'T like my scales. They are really messing with my mind.

Yesterday - 13st 0.8lbs - Sue is staring into the abyss ready to jump.

Today - 12st 11.8lbs. Sue is EXTREMELY confused.

I would like nothing more right now than to chuck the sodding things out the window and watch springs and things bouncing around when they smash on the ground 2 storeys below. Or to at least hide them and ignore them. But I have to admit it: my name is Sue and I'm a scale junkie. God damn it, but they rule me and I'm dependent. If they are there then I have to step on them and I feel lost without them because I'm convinced I'll put on weight the second I stop checking on them. Ugh.

And breeeeeathe.

Anyhoo - ignoring the scales and the gibberish they are speaking - yesterday was good. Ironic, really, that in the midst of my doom, gloom and scales-related depression, I can still pull a good day out of the bag.

Having a bigger breakfast than usual kept me full all morning, and my soup and sandwich kept me full all afternoon, so no snacking, which made a really nice change. And then I went to the gym for a cardio workout after work.

It's been ages since I did this - went to the gym other than to attend a class or just run on the treadmill, and I realised how effective it could be. I've got so used to how intense classes and running are, and hooked on how many points I can earn in a relatively short time, that I've been dismissing the normal gym as too easy. What an idiot!!! Yeah, ok, so I might find the X-trainer and rowing machines a lot easier than prancing round punching and kicking for an hour, but it sure cranked my heart-rate up!! In fact, it was really quite an enjoyable workout. 45 mins: 20 mins X-trainer, 10 mins stepper, 10 mins run, 5 mins ergo rower, 1 sweaty Sue, average heart rate 156, 550 calories burned.





I guess doing short intervals means I get less bored and work harder because I know I'll be on to a different set of muscles imminently.

So yesterday in summary: workout completed, points banked, 1 sneaky glass of wine consumed with dinner, and in bed by midnight. Not bad.

Onwards, troopers!!!

-- Posted from my iPhone

A put-down at the scales

I'm having a mini freak-out at the scales today as the bastard's just keep going up without my permission. There was a nasty looking number that looked a lot like 13 on them this morning.

Seriously?????

Son of a bitch!!!

Eating yesterday wasn't entirely perfect, but nowhere near enough to justify another freaking gain. This scares me .... I'm still making the effort and fighting every day for this and so far this year all that's happening is gains. What if this is it and I can't get it right anymore? Can't lose anymore? Start slowly creeping back up?

It bloody terrifies me that I can't seem to get this right anymore. That when it is right, it doesn't have any positive impact on the scales at the moment.

I'm trying to push that fear away and bury it, and not let it distract me from continuing to try and make each day good, but it's there lurking at the back of my mind. The same fear that I was surprised to find groundless when I first started this last year, finally feels like it's real and true now and has come back to haunt me. I feel like I no longer control the scale - that what I eat won't change what I see which is how I used to feel before Weightwatchers.

I'm still not ready to give up though. I might well cry (literally) if I see another gain on Friday, which is what I currently expect, but I can't give this up because the alternative is far worse. The alternative is regaining everything I lost, and probably alarmingly quickly. It's the destruction of my self-esteem AGAIN. And besides - I threw out all my clothes. I don't want to give up - not on the healthy-eating plan - not on myself.

Yesterday I found myself physically hungry for much of the day. I fought it as best I could by at least making the extra food as healthy as possible - clementines, cereal bars, soup and a small roll at lunch with my sandwich. I made homemade carrot soup in the evening too before my pancakes, but I did end up a few points over by the end of the day. I did half an hour of yoga and abs at home in the evening and discovered that I really don't like working out at home on the whole. No alcohol, and in bed by 11.

I haven't got a lot of food in the flat at the moment, so I scavenged together scrambled eggs on toast for breakfast this morning, which seems to be keeping the munchies at bay so far. I've got the leftover soup with a sandwich for lunch, and I bought in the remaining slice of millionaire shortbread that was tormenting me from the fridge and gave it to my friends. Gym tonight after work for a cardio blast, then I'm being cooked for by Bridget - I've already pointed it up.

Wish me good karma that I see something positive to encourage me to keep going sometime soon! Otherwise I might lose the will to keep doing this!!


-- Posted from my iPhone

Day 1 back on track

Yesterday was much better - not a bad start at all to being back on track. My food was all tracked and I finished the day with some points banked after exercise. One box ticked.

I went to the gym when I got home, and much as my legs protested I warmed up on the X-trainer for 10 mins and then knocked out another 20 min run with the treadmill set a speed or two higher than usual. I wasn't in the mood for a long haul so went for short and intense instead. Still slow at 5.5mph, but slowly, slowly increasing my speed little by little. 2 days in a row of even short runs has given me achey legs of lead today though!!! (Oh, and I didn't spin as I said I would because both classes were full).

I stayed in last night, had a long luxury shower instead of a bath and the boys popped round later to demolish more of the shortbread for me. I had a half slice since I had a couple of points left. In bed by midnight - not quite as early as I'd have liked, but not bad.

The scales this morning are 0.4lbs down - any movement away from the dreaded 13 stone barrier is good - I am soooooooo not going back there!!!!

Today is a rinse and repeat of yesterday. Dinner tonight is going to be replaced by a nutritious pile of pancakes!!! Forgive me - I am at least saving up the points for it and planning on staying in my points for the day. I might also make some tomato soup in case I need extras.

I'm not sure my legs can take another session of running just yet as they're feeling pathetically tight right now, so I'm going to try and find some yoga and stretches to do for tonight's activity.

21.5lbs to goal - and I'm going to keep chipping away at it.

Laters, lovelies!!


-- Posted from my iPhone

Whoa, Nelly!!!!

TIME OUT!!!!

Enough is enough and I'm now calling a mini intervention on my ass. I've not eaten great over the weekend, although I am at least tracking 100% honestly again, but I sure as hell didn't like what I saw on the scales this morning. I'm within a shade of going back over 13 stone and I flatly refuse to go back there.

It is therefore time to go full on Nazi on my (increasing) ass again and get my head properly back in the game.

As you may have noticed, I've been blogging less frequently than usual recently - a symptom of the decline. At the same time, my social life has gone into over-drive, and between that and work, I've not had enough time for me.

So ... it's time for me to be selfish. This week is allllllll about ME!!! About giving myself a little love (and discipline). My plan is to totally let my social life take a back seat this week. I'm not going to do my usual trick of saying yes to absolutely everything and then running from pillar to post every night. I'm also not going to spend every spare minute round at the boys' house.

I want to cut out the booze this week. I've been drinking way too much recently which is bad in itself, but also leads to other bad decisions. I'm going to pay attention to what I'm eating as I've been snacking mindlessly far too much. And I'm going to try and get in some form of exercise or activity every night the rest of this week. I'm also aiming for at least 7 hours of sleep a night. The scales can do what they want to do - I'm going to be focusing on getting my mental house in order.

Other than that - I had a lovely weekend once it finally got started. I ended up working 3 hours over on Friday night so I wasn't the happiest of bunnies. I dropped into see my dad on the way home and then headed to a house party in the evening. 1 bottle of wine later and I was pretty drunk, but oddly not far over on points for the day. Saturday was a bit of a mix up, as I'd made late plans to go on a 10 mile walk near Ludlow with friends and then stay over for the night, before being reminded on Friday night that I actually had tickets to see Imogen Heap in Birmingham on Sat night. Disaster!!! I ended up cancelling the walk and going to the gig as well as watching the 6 Nations rugby with friends on Sat. I ate far too much at dinner out in the evening - or rather I talked myself into eating when I wasn't actually hungry - and ended up feeling really uncomfortable for the gig - when will I learn????

After Saturday morning's hangover it made a pleasant change to wake up yesterday morning feeling refreshed and clear-headed so I went for a 5k run. Pretty slow as I've really not done much running recently, but I felt better for having it done before breakfast. After a leisurely morning I watched the rugby again next door with Sid and then tried my hand at baking Millionaire Shortbread. They turned out pretty damn delicious, but insanely rich. I had one yesterday, but since I now want to be back on track I'm busy giving the rest away to appreciative friends.

Food so far today is back where I would like it to be. I'm going to spin tonight, then I think I might treat myself to a bath and a night catching up on Supernatural alone on the sofa and an early-ish night. Suddenly that sounds exactly what I need.


-- Posted from my iPhone

The war of attrition

I am one of those people that frequently struggles with motivation. I'd like to be the sort of person that forges ahead, regardless of the circumstances or obstacles in my way, but the truth is that as soon as something doesn't go my way my willpower can flag. And that, dear readers, can be a vicious cycle for us weight loss types.

When I'm eating right, the weight comes off. When the weight comes off I see the rewards for my work, and I'm encouraged to do more of the same. A positive feedback cycle. When the weight loss slows, or I gain, then I get a bit of a fuck-you mentality on - it's harder to persuade myself to put the good stuff in my mouth because I can't see the result anymore, and so things can easily spiral out of control. Blame it on my 3 second, goldfish memory.

That's where I could have been after skiing - I've been struggling with the 12 stone bracket for what feels like forever. I'm within sight of my goal, and yet far enough away that it's a long final push to get there. I'm tired of watching what I eat for the moment, but know that it's all that stands between me and a big backwards slide (as Saturday loudly reminds me), so I'm using the one tool in my arsenal that I have left - one day at a time and live in the present and immediate future only.

That way, mistakes I make are in the past - I can learn from them, but I can't change them - 20/20 hindsight and all that - so there's no point letting them have a negative impact on what comes next. Done it, log it, move right along. At the same time I'm just keeping my eye on the here and now and my immediate choices and options -there's no point looking too far ahead - for a time when I reach goal - and waiting for it to happen. I'll get there eventually, but I have to keep living my life until I get there.

I'm stuck in a funk and I have to keep going until I can find my way out again. The fabulous Ms. Bitchcakes described it perfectly the other day - the first phase of whole-hearted committment and steady results; the slow decline into complacency, weight-loss plateau and going-round-in-circles; and eventually re-committment when my brain finally catches up with me. I've just got to not quit before that point.

To the people who had the grit to do it all on the first time with no distractions - the lovely Kari, gorgeous Lizzie and of course the eponymous Jack Sh!t - I salute you. For the rest of us - who's still here plodding along with me??


-- Posted from my iPhone

Lessons learned

What surprised me most about yesterday's comments was that people said they would never have pointed The Day of 70 Points. But I think this was the most valuable thing I could have done.

You see Saturday wasn't a binge. I didn't set out to consume quantities of food until I was satisfied or squelch any cravings. I just stopped specifically thinking about making healthy choices as I knew I would be earning a lot of extra points from my walk.

The result is a huge lesson in what can happen when you're not paying attention, and the staggering way in which things can stack up.

At first when I totted up Saturday's points, I was so ashamed and shocked that I wasn't going to post anything about it. But this is something that anyone who is trying to eat healthily, and especially anyone just starting out on that road, needs to have their eyes open to.

I can't count the number of days that I've probably had in the past where I've eaten what I damn well please because I'm also being active. Hell, I probably did it most days while I was away skiing - so it's no wonder we can all struggle with our weight.

Back in the normal world, I'm back to making the effort to get it right on a daily basis. I was irritated last night to work late again and ended up missing my spin class. I prob should have gone for a run or something instead, but I was bloody knackered so concentrated on trying to eat vaguely right instead. Also, I'm honestly feeling a bit averse to the running thing at the moment - I'm just not liking the hideous cold much. Roll on Spring!!!!

I'm due out to go and see friends for a silly board games evening tonight. There's pizza on offer for tea, but I'd better steer clear of that as I don't have the points to soak it up, and I've eaten plenty of crap this week already. I haven't got any classes booked for this evening, but I feel I want to do something gentle, so I'm going to try and investigate the exercisetv website that Prior Fat Girl Jen was talking about a couple of days ago .... a home yoga session feels like it would just nicely hit the spot!


-- Posted from my iPhone

Maximum stress

Foregive me, readers, for it is a week since I last blogged. I'm sorry.

I think it's fair to say that this last week achieved record-breaking levels of stress and general bonkers-ness, and isn't one I'd care to repeat any time in the near future.

Here's the summary:

1. Number of evenings when I got drunk - mostly due to the need to shrug off work stress - 4, matched by an equal number of hungover and sleep-deprived mornings.
2. Number of times reduced to tears at work in the ladies loos - 1.
3. Number of episodes of intense Tourettes-style episodes at work due to stress - uncountable.
4. Number for financial directors no longer talking to me after I regrettably let fly in a meeting when I could no longer keep my mouth shut - 1.
5. Number of extra points consumed due to I-don't-give-a-flying-fuck moments in the evening due to extreme lateness home from work - numerous and unmentionable.
6. Number of exercise classes missed due to above lateness - 1.
7. Number of lbs lost on Friday's weigh in - 0.5 - god only knows how as the scales should rightfully have revolted against me.

Eventful week, I hear you say.

I have absolutely no idea how the scales went down - I guess the good behaviour from the previous week / weekend finally caught up with me, but if I don't pull my thumb out it's not going to stay that way.

This weekend saw some absolutely atrocious eating. Friday was fine, as I managed to wing it, so that even with my night out on the tiles in Cheltenham, I ended up within 4 points of my daily allowance. Saturday was an eating catastrophe. 70 points. That's all I'm saying. I didn't even know it was possible to eat that much in a day, and felt pretty disgusted when I added it all up. A typical case of lots of little things adding up. To put it in context, we went for an all-day 12 mile hill walk on Saturday along the length of the Malvern hills and down to Ledbury. After getting in at 4.30am on Sat morning, I was up at 8.30am to get ready. Read it and weep - a whole 4 hours sleep, or slightly under (we would have got back earlier on Friday night, but managed to get the world's slowest taxi home - I swear to god he didn't get out of 4th gear / over 40mph on the entire 26 mile ride home - even on the M5 - grrrrrrr!).

For those of you curious how you consume 70 points (ish) in one day - here's a quick guide:

• 1 x 2 egg ommelette for breakfast with some half-fat cheddar, and a bowl of Special K with skimmed milk. Also about a pint and a half of fruit juice to feed the hangover. 11 points. Damn!
• 1 slice buttered maltloaf mid-morning, and a hot chocolate at the hotel just before lunch - about 6 points or so I think.
• 1 submarine roll for lunch with chicken, pesto and mayo, a Scotch egg and a Cadbury flake yoghurt - a hefty 19 points. Shall I start crying yet?
• 2 Welsh cakes, en route during the second half of the walk, plus some jelly babies. Another 5 or 6 points.
• Pint of coke and 3 large glasses or wine in the pub (arrive at 5 to watch the rugby - stay for dinner and until 9.30). About 8-10 points.
• Homemade steak and kidney pie for dinner with chips and veg. 20 points.

And voila - you've killed yourself. In my defence, I didn't add anything up as I went along, and when you're walking all day and monkeying around in the cold, it doesn't feel like that much food. Well, apart from dinner. The dinner made me feel sick. It was delicious, but I couldn't finish it and felt overly full.

I was absolutely shattered by the time we got the train home, and having weaved to the station I lay on a bench feeling sick and dizzy (and drunk). I crashed straight to sleep when we got home, but woke up at midnight, literally ill from the food. I can't take it anymore and my body literally rebelled against me.

On the upside - the walk earned me 20 activity points. The mistake I made was thinking I could treat myself as to what I ate as I'd be able to soak it up with the activity points, and I just didn't even think that it would add up to that much - or even could add up to that much. Not making that mistake again!!

Yesterday was a recovery day - very lazy after 14 hours sleep (the last week suddenly caught up with me), and a bit of overeating, but nothing too catastrophic. Today, I'm back to it.

Oh, and I'm looking for a new job, as my current one is clearly unhealthy for me!!

Karma? What did I ever do to you????

Well, I think we can safely say I'm having the crappiest day I've had for quite some time today. Oh joy; what total and utter joy.

Shall I list out for you the many ways in which the shitstorm has descended on my head?

1. I've lost my purse. Sometime between paying for my pic'n'mix at the cinema last night (we'll come onto that separate matter after I've finished ranting - patience, my friends) and this morning, it vanished from my bag. It's not in my room - its newly tidy status made that fairly easy to confirm, it's not anywhere else obvious around the flat, it's not in Jon's car (yep - I had to wake the boys up at 7.30 this morning to request the keys to check - cue me getting an eyeful as Sid opens the front door in the tiniest pants known to man or woman - I sooooo did not need to see that at any time of the day - never mind the early morning, and Jon looking at me very bleary eyed in a towel, trying to understand what I was saying as he was only approximately 26% conscious), and my last hope is the cinema. Ah yes, the cinema, who helpfully inform me that there's no direct number for me to ring the actual cinema, and therefore customer services have emailed them on my behalf, and I'll hopefully hear back sometime in the next 4 hours / year. My entire life is in that purse, so I'm currently penniless, cardless, driving licence-less and about 45 other miscellaneous items that I suddenly find I can't live without. Bugger. Oh yes, and I literally had to go through the trash this morning as having taken the bags out to the bin, I suddenly panicked that I'd thrown my purse away when I cleaned the cinema tickets and receipts out of my bag last night. Nice.

2. Flashy orange lights came on in the car on the way to work this morning - I have no idea if this is a reminder for a routine hideously expensive service that I can't really afford right now (curse skiing!!!!) or something more serious. I ignored them.

3. Some stupid bint tried to drive into the side of my car this morning on the way to work. She was so busy jockeying for position at the roundabout outside my work this morning, and gesticulating rude things at the driver next to her, that she failed miserably to notice that I'm one of the few people who actually go right round the roundabout to the site entrance when I signal right, and not turn off down the main road. She'd practically driven onto me in her oversized, and no doubt needlessly large, people carrier before she spotted me and threw out the anchors. I was not amused.

4. I got to work to remember that I was going to buy my lunch today, since I didn't have any lunch stuff in. No purse equals no money equals no lunch. Luckily, the lovely Fran threw me a lifeline in the form of a £10 note, so I'm over that one.

5. My friend Claire, who is currently 7 months pregnant, got sent home from work this morning in a state of panic and over-stressedness, after she completely broke down on arriving at the office this morning. A) I'm obviously really worried about her. B) I'm now covering her phone, potentially some of her work, and lying through my teeth about why she's not in as she doesn't want people outside our office to know (fair enough). Nice working environment I have, right?

So there we have the state of play for today - want to know how I've tackled it?

By not eating the cake.

Oh yeah.

There's birthday cakes again. And I ain't eating them. I figure I ate cake yesterday, and today's are shop-bought, so all I'm missing out on is a shop-bought muffin - I can have those some other time. What have I eaten? Bowl of cereal with skimmed milk for breakfast. A satsuma and an Alpen Light bar during the morning. Sandwich and yoghurt for lunch. In other words, I've eaten exactly what was planned into my tracker this morning.

In. Your. Dirty. Face. Stress.

On a stress front, I've kind of simmered down now. There's not much I can do either way til the cinema phones me back about my purse. If it's gone, then I'm leaving early to start calling all the banks. I was at breaking point early this morning, but a well-timed funny and sympathetic email from Jon with a suggestion of pub tonight, and he's buying the drinks if the purse has gone, calmed me down a bit. I've spoken to Claire and she sounds better. Time to just head down and get on with shit.

So the pic'n'mix. We went to see Sherlock Holmes at the cinema last night. I don't know why, but I made a last minute decsion that I really wanted more pic'n'mix after only having some on Friday night. I literally had my little pack of popcorn in my bag, but just didn't want it. As it goes, it's no biggie though as I went to Spin last night, so I still banked a half point for the day - just not as much as I'd planned on. Other than that I stuck to my post-cookie-revised plan for yesterday.

I'm liking the plans - I don't have to think in the evenings when I'm hungry, just grab stuff and cook, so I can do my thinking and planning and decsion-making when I'm not hungry and can be objective. I'm good for finishing this week with points to spare, which will be the first time in quite some time that I can honestly say I've fully tracked and that has happened. Sadly, the scales don't seem to want to play ball and acknowledge this fact just yet, so I'm just going to have to be patient and wait for them to catch up with me.

They will.

Over and out, amigos! xx

Check me out!!!

Oh yes, my lovelies, check me out indeed!!! I'm back in the zone and survived a weekend that involved an overnight girls' night and a cinema trip with only a 4 point excess to show for it!!!

I thank you very much!!! You can stop applauding now! ;-)

Soooooooo - I know - long time, no post. Sorreeeeeee!!! What can I say - I was having too much fun!

Friday felt like one of those hungry days when you just can't stop thinking about damn food. Thanks to the planning I largely stayed on plan through morning at the office. Ironically, having been obsessing over food all morning I wasn't hungry by the time I got home at about half 2.

Typical, but I took advantage of that. Since the sun was shining on the way home, I dragged my trainers on as soon as I got home and set out for my first outdoor run of the year. Boy, it felt like hard work, but despite more walking breaks than usual I actually completed my short circuit in 26 mins which is a min or two quicker than usual! Guess I must have been running faster and that was why I needed the breaks. On a booooooo side - in typical fashion as soon as I got round the first corner it started to snow on me and proceeded to keep snowing in various intensities until 5 mins before I got home. Which is rubbish news when you're out running in capris and a fleece!!! My hands were so cold that they took a painful 5 mins to defrost in the shower when I got back. Ouch.

I had a nice quiet afternoon after that although the nibbles were still with me so I used some of my running activity points to snack sensibly.

Friday evening I went to the cinema to see Avatar with Bridget, but it was annoyingly sold out when we arrived so we saw It's Complicated instead. We whiled away the time til the later showing in the pub over the road catching up on several weeks worth of gossip (over Diet Coke) and I totally enjoyed my (pre-pointed) pic'n'mix with the film. And the film was pretty good too although I was so tired that I was struggling to stay awake by the end of it.

I had another lovely quiet day on Saturday as I walked into town to take some books back to the library in the morning and to go and get lots of lovely fresh fruit from the supermarket. After that and a healthy lunch I rocked into Worcester for a couple of hours of shopping with Sheena. I was really pleased to get some great bargains from TK Maxx, somewhere I usually hate, as I got a new work out top for the gym, a technical t-shirt for biking, running and spin, and a proper lightweight windproof / showerproof shell for biking / running all for £40!!!! Super happy about that as I've been coveting a running / biking jacket for months (a proper one that's cut high at the front and properly low at the back)- and I picked this one up for £16!!

Now, I have to admit that I forgot to do my food planning for Saturday until Saturday morning, but I was really pleased with how it worked. I went to a girls' night at Bridget's in the evening and it was so nice to turn up knowing that my dinner and a couple of glasses of wine were already planned in for the day, and I had some spare points on top for cakes. And oh my god were there cakes!!!! Home made ones from the Hummingbird Bakery Cookbook which I got Bridget for Xmas. French Fancies. Mini chocolate eggs donated by Sheena.

Yes, I was over my points for Saturday as I indulged and had cake. But the planning meant that it wasn't catastrophic for my week or even my weekend. Nice!!

Yesterday morning we very groggily dragged ourselves out of bed and out to the gym for 10am to sample this new Aerojam class. My god, it was the funniest thing I've done for a while!!!! The music was super-loud and up-to-date chart music (think Lady Gaga, Britney Spears and Beyonce), the instructor was a hyper-active, super enthusiastic loon and the instructions ran something along the lines of "gyrate!! And now the other way!" "touch yourselves - be sexy, ladies!!!" "show me some attitude" and many more gems! The class is a mixture of aerobics, dance, Bodyjam and whatever else Tabitha feels like throwing in. There's street dance moves, hip-hop, Latin, and funky variations on traditional grape-vines and box steps, as well as a lot of jogging around and what seemed like an endless set of lunges. It certainly worked me hard - my HRM read out an average heart rate of 157 over 58 mins at the end of the class, maxed out at 181 and with an estimated burn of 635 calories!!! It also showed me that while I might think I can dance, I'm not always that co-ordinated, but I did have a smile on my face for pretty much the whole class, so I'll definitely give that another go next week.

I spent yesterday afternoon looking on the Internet at possible options for my big trip at the end of the year. It's so exciting, but I also feel anxious about such a big step. Eeeek - even just planning it is putting me outside my comfort zone!!! Well, I guess that's a good thing as it was part of the reasoning behind the whole trip.

I finished yesterday on another good day of eating and planned out today's food yesterday evening. I've deviated slightly from my plan already as I'd forgotten there'd be birthday cakes today, but I picked sensibly and I've adjusted my plan accordingly, so I'm still on track for a good day.

Happy Monday everybody!! Xx

-- Posted from my iPhone