Just for once, I'm glad to say that my radio-silence has not co-incided with dietry disaster (ooooooh, alliteration so early in the post .... pretty!!!!). Which may come as a shock, but just occasionally it happens.
I seem to have regained my "I can be bothered because I want this momentum" this week, and I've been busy clocking points on my tracker and making the best of it. My eating's been pretty solid, and I've been to spinning and done a run today, so is all is well on that side of things.
As far as the scales go, they seem to be pottering around a bit all over the place, and normally that would be leading to screaming frustration on my part. What's different this week is that I came to one or two conclusions that help me deal with the fluctuations a bit more calmly. Firstly, as often follows the weekend, the scales dipped on Monday / Tuesday, then bounced up this morning. I've no idea why the weekend excesses (whether controlled or free-for-all) take a few days to show up on the scales, but by now I'm used to it. Yesterday's number, in fact, was a new all time low for me (just), so rather than fret at this morning's spike, I reminded myself that as long as the dips get to new lows, then the little peaks don't matter. After all, the peaks now as what used to be my lows, so there is very slow (but bumpy) progress in the right direction.
I decided that this week would also be a good time to resurrect my start-of-year intention to try more new recipes, so I experimented with one from Weightwatchers magazine this evening. It was in the latest issue and is for Oven Roasted Sweet Roots with Grilled Halloumi. Flipping lovely too! You can play around with what veg go in, and I dropped the salad part as it had extra points I didn't need, but the rest was gorgeous. Beetroot, butternut squash and carrots, slow-roasted for an hour, and then popped under the grill with a tablespoon of balasamic vinegar and the halloumi on top. So simple, but I would never think of adding the vinegar normally, or indeed using the cheese instead of meat. I'm totally adding that to my list of regulars though!
It did occur to me earlier, that giving up alcohol for Lent is actually going to be great for my diet. If I look back over the past couple of weekends, the amount of points I've lost to alcohol is just obnoxious - just cutting out the drink will probably save me around 30 points a week when it's a heavy social weekend. Good for my liver, my purse and my diet??? WINNER!!!
The only other thing going on at the moment really, is my ongoing struggle to figure out how to get my debts repaid in something less than 20 years time. The only real long-term way I have to make a real impact on the numbers is to move to a cheaper flat and save on the rent. Problem is I love my little flat (even though it isn't cheap) and adore the location. I've been vaguely chatting with one of the girls I work with about house-share options in Bristol, but it looks like that option's not available to me just yet, as I checked my lease this evening and it's for a full 12 months with no opt out - looks like I'm not going anywhere til the end of the year. I'm not sure whether I'm glad I'm not forced to move out for frugal reasons, or depressed that yet another option has been removed. Bank won't give me a loan, and I can't move to a cheaper flat. For god's sake - learn from me, and look before you leap into debt!!!
I'm currently trying to figure out if I can get away with selling my car to avoid yet more bills on it, since it's proven itself to be the most unreliable heap of junk on the planet, and whether I could use a chunk of the proceeds to try and make at least a little dent in the mountain of debt. Hmph - money-worries suck - especially if you have the added humiliation of being an accountant who should know better! Thank god, I can at least afford to keep things ticking over for the moment, and I haven't reached critical meltdown point - one positive thing - it can always be worse.
It's funny how one person's life can go up as another's goes down, and they can still be upset about it though. Whilst I scratch my head in depressed fashion over the money, and consider the total lack of anything exciting on my horizon in the form of holidays, spending, occasions, all whilst having made the positive decision to totally give up on men whilst I try and figure my self-esteem problem out (so add a total lack of any exciting dates in the foreseeable future too), Hannah is having holidays galore, and is off travelling round South America for 3 months in the summer, shopping like it's going out of fashion and has a new man. And yet, there she was on my sofa last night after the cinema, in tears, because she still loves her ex, is scared about the prospect of the new guy, worried about travelling alone and is having fits over how much money she's spent even though it was all saved for a rainy day. The irony is I'd kill for her life right now!
Hopefully, something fun and exciting (and preferably in a good way and cheap since I have no money) will come along to cheer me up soon, because right now my life looks like a slog of the totally-no-fun-whatsoever variety. Ah well - keep fighting the good fight!
Today I like: the shape of my calves between my pencil skirt and my heels. Sexy! :o)
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