Recovery

I'm feeling a bit more in control today, and the weekend looked a bit more normal. I was still a bit over on points, which I expected to be realistically, but I don't feel like I went completely nuts.

I feel like I'm a bit more settled back into my routines today. Something Lizzie said last week on one of my posts really struck home - I'm struggling because I've been eating more convenience foods recently, and less home-cooked and basics, and it's not as filling - no wonder I end up raiding the cupboards again and again!

So how did the weekend go, after Friday's epic session of food lunacy? Better. Saturday, after I'd posted about my disappointment in myself I went and made myself pasta with tomato and chilli sauce, lean chicken and veg. That kept me nicely filled up til I made it to the boys' flat in Clapham, and upon arrival I got fed tea, which actually turned out to be more pasta! Bolognaise sauce second time round, but a nice size portion and a healthy sauce again. I had a glass of wine with dinner, and then stuck my evening drinking to vodka and diet mixers ... I think there were quite a few of those but it was damage limitation. I did have 2 slices of toast when I got back at 3.30am, but considering the boys had kebabs on the way home, I'd say that was ok.

Yesterday, I got woken up to be handed a toasted bacon and egg sandwich, but all grilled and no butter - not too bad. I stopped on the way out of London to grab a sandwich for lunch - M & S Count on Us range, a small chocolate bar, and then on to home. I got cooked for in the evening - roast lamb (oh my god - absolutely heavenly!!!), but it worked out really well because it was lean leg, and LOTS of veg - celeriac, parsnip, carrots, 2 small roast potatoes, broccoli, onions and a little bit of bacon in with joint, and a bit of gravy and redcurrant and port sauce. I got given a small piece of cheesecake for dessert without being asked - nice but luxurious.

Today, I'm fully back on plan with a vengance. In accordance with Lizzie's thoughts, I've bought my lunch with me and had a jacket potato with plain tuna and a yoghurt for lunch. Tonight I'm going to have pasta with tomato sauce, chicken and veg, and I'm going to spin.

Going forward, I'm going to make much more of an effort to bring my lunches from home, and make them filling foods. Partly because I need to control my hunger during the day, but also for another reason.

I need to start saving money. Major saving over a short space of time, because I have plans. Yep - this is related to the mysterious life changing stuff I was talking about last week. My plans have changed slightly over the weekend, as things move along. One option has been taken away from me, but it ended up leading me down a slightly different path that I'm pretty damn excited about. I'm still exploring the options, but I need to start thinking about funding now, and get started on that. I'll say this for the options though - they're all things that sit very nicely in my ideal of healthier, fitter lifestyle and will give me plenty of ways to challenge myself over the next year in getting to that place.

On a completely separate note - I've just crazily entered myself for my first ever race!! No tame 5km on the road for me - nope!! Instead I've entered myself for the 2nd of the Scott Aztec Trail Runs in the Forest of Dean. So on 10th January, I shall be collecting my timing chip (gulp - this seems quite serious!) and setting out for 5.4km round the forest trails. There's 3 races running that day, so I'll be running with people doing the 10.4km and 15.4km races too - they go on to do extra laps of the course. I would allow myself to get scared as this is a race rather than a charity run, but it says it's open for people of all abilities, from complete novices upwards, so I'm going to concentrate on enjoying my experience and see what time I get. I've cautiously put myself down as an estimated 40 mins to complete, as I'm not the fastest runner on the planet, so we'll see how it goes! I'm going to see if any of my friends want to come do it (or one of the longer races) with me, but thought I'd better enter now, before I allow me to talk myself out of it!

That's everything for today!

Ta-rah!!

Disappointed

Yep, I'm disappointed with myself this morning. I seem to be stuck in a little self-sabotage loop at the moment, and every time I'll say I'll eat better today I seem to get a little worse instead.

Take yesterday - I ate well up to mid-afternoon. I left the office several hours later than intended on my Friday afternoon off, and rushed off to an optician's appointment in town with points still in hand for dinner out with Jo. I met up with Jo, and after a bit of hunting round (it seemed to be ridiculously busy in town last night), we settled on a very nice Italian restaurant.

I made a halfway good choice for dinner - tagliatelle with chicken, mushrooms, and a tomato-y sauce, but with a bit of cream in. Ok. Not the absolute best I could have picked, but ok. Then I ordered garlic bread. With cheese. Kinda going down hill, as I didn't have the points for it, but not an absolute deal breaker, and would have been fine if I'd stopped there.

After dinner, we wandered along to the Victorian Christmas market down the street. And bought fudge. Now, this should be a clue to me how far off the beaten path my mind has wandered, as fudge is like my own personal crack - I can't not eat it. Had a few chunks, left the rest alone.

Afterward we'd said our goodbyes, I meandered home, and popped round to see the boys who were having a bit of a geeky boardgames night with friends. Danger signs flashing in neon on the edge of my vision, as I decided to take the vodka and slimline tonic with me and have a drink or 2. No points for this .... again, not a deal breaker in terms of points, but just not needed. What was I thinking???

Suffice it to say that all control went right out the window at round about this point, and I then stuffed my face with about 4 slices of Pizza Express thin-crust pizza (prob about 3 or 4 points a slice?), Jelly Babies (god knows how many points) and 2 small slices of home-made apple cake (don't even want to think about it). Like the genius I am, I then proceeded to stay up til 6.30am this morning drinking vodka and watching films with Jon.

WHY??????

So this morning, I'm tired, but can't sleep, cranky, kicking myself, and wondering where the hell my head is at????

I'm due off to London at some point fairly shortly for a night out, and I'm pretty sure that my lack of sleep (about 2 hours??) is going to catch up and majorly kick me in the ass shortly.

And what's with the eating. Why on earth would I continue to stuff my face with junk yesterday, when I've just had to report a small gain that morning because I've already stuffed my face with junk? I just don't understand my logic, or lack there of.

Today, I'm now faced with the prospect of another night out, and a night away from home, where I've got to try and get my head back in the game. It's not there yet. How can I tell? The fact that the open packet of fudge is next to me and I've been nibbling from it this morning is probably an awesome clue.

*Closes packet and moves it away before I just say fuck it and finish it off*

I don't like where my head is. I want to get these last 18 lbs kicked, and this is not the way to do it. Here's my promise to you - today I will practice moderation, like I certainly didn't practice it yesterday. I'm not sure that I'll be able to do today under points, as I am out drinking with the boys, but I will think things through, and make conscious decisions. I ate all the crap yesterday, so it's not like I'm denying myself anything I haven't had in ages.

Time to go and have a shower, put some washing through, and find something sensible to have for lunch (I've missed breakfast now). Do half an hour or so on my "project", pack my stuff and go. I will make good choices for dinner tonight, and not go nuts with the drinking.

That's my plan. I'll report in tomorrow.

Ooooh - and thanks to Kate for the Ronhill recommendation for my winter kit - had a look on Wiggle yesterday, and the prices were much more sensible than what I'd been looking at before!

Food diary number 2

It turns out that even photo-journalling what I eat can save me from myself sometimes!! I had the sweetest tooth last night and was really struggling to not dive head-first into the boys' biscuit box when I went round to see them after Body Balance, and the only reason I didn't eat more was I had very little in the house last night. So here's yesterday:

Breakfast was beans on toast (2.5pts), orange juice (1.5pts) and 2 satsumas (0.5pts).


Mid-morning snack of small skinny hot chocolate and a Weightwatchers Caramel Wafer (3pts).



Bottle of Coke Zero for a caffeine hit - 0pts.


Lunch (which I may have forgotten to take a picture of til I was half way through) - chicken and stuffing sandwich (4.5pts), Walkers Squares (1.5pts), and a Weightwatchers yoghurt (0.5pts).


Afternoon tea break - MORE Coke (it was a very long day!) and half a Double Decker (my colleague Claire had the other half).


And then it all went a bit wrong. I got back from work starving and couldn't find anything in the house, so I ended up scarfing down 2 wholemeal pitta breads with an individual pot of humour (I think 4pts for the pittas and 3 for the humous) and then a little pack of Weightwatchers Lemon and Ginger cookies (1.5pts). Then after Balance I heard the siren call of the biscuit box at the boys' house and the miracle is that I only had 1 biscuit when I wanted about 4! So another 1.5pts there.

All in all, not an absolutely stellar day. About 27pts eaten and only 21pts allowed plus the 2.5pts earned from Balance.

And the result of my indiscretions this week - 0.5lbs back on. Not a huge surprise after the birthday weekend, but frustrating and, as per usual, a kick up the arse that I can't mess around if I want to keep losing.

Got dinner out tonight so I shall try and make a sensible choice and get this week off to a good start.

-- Posted from my iPhone

Preparing for the Winter

Nice try, Kate, but I'm not giving up my secrets just yet - they still remain firmly shrouded in mystery. Suffice it to say that I spent another hour or so on this little project last night, and I'm slowly gaining confidence in my decisions - sods law is I'll get turned down and it won't happen now .... hmmmmm, has that got you intrigued???

I'm nicely achey this morning after Body Combat last night, I blasted through it giving it my all (what can I say, I had a lot of pent-up aggression to get rid of!), but I felt a few little twinges in my hip and ankle towards the end, which tells me I still need to be careful with my kicks. Balance tonight which is nicely timed to unwind the tightness from the week's exercise.

I started looking at kit yesterday, knowing I wanted some long tights for running in the colder weather. I'm not a fan of the treadmill (DULL!!!!), so would rather be running outside, even in the winter. All the streets round me are pretty well street-lit, and I could take a head-torch if I want to run on the commons or the hills in the dark, so there's no excuse to not go out. I was reading BettyMountainGirl's most recent post, regarding kit, and it did make me laugh as I'm such a magpie for shiny stuff. So I've pared down my list of "wants" - I don't need a new jacket, as my current waterproof is short and well-cut, lightweight and well ventilated, I do want some long tights, but don't need anything extraordinarily expensive, I've survived so far with out specialist headphones and the Nike+ for my iPhone, I would quite like to just get some reflective bands for running in the dark so I don't get mown down, and I already own a fleece headband and lightweight fleece-lined gloves from skiing, so that'll keep me cozy. That's probably cut the cost in half! Plus I can use the tights for biking in the winter too - no excuses not to get out!

That's pretty much it for me, at the moment. I'm doing the photo diary thing again today - boring for you guys but useful for me - just trying to rein in the damage from the weekend - a half a lb loss this week would be fab after the over-eat of the weekend, but I'm somewhat dubious that will happen!

Food diary number 1

It's quite interesting photographing everything you eat, as you have to think, with each item, whether you want to show everyone you ate it.

Breakfast was a 50g bowl of Special K with skimmed milk and a big glass of low sugar squash - 3.5pts.


Bottle of Diet Coke when I got to work - 0pts.


Fruit salad with 2 dessertspoons of low-fat natural yoghurt from the salad bar - c. 2pts.


Small hot chocolate with skimmed milk from Costa bar at work - 1.5pts.


New Covent Garden Winter Veg soup (carton for 1) - 2.5pts, meat sushi selection from Sainsbury's - 4pts, Weight Watchers Vanilla yoghurt - 0.5pts.



Mid-afternoon snack of an Alprn Light Bar - the chocolate and fudge are really nice and only 1pt!



Pre-gym and bloody starving, so a slice of the infamous birthday cake is called for - 3pts.


Scallops with lime and chilli marinade and some added mushrooms, broccoli and organic Mediterranean tomato couscous - 6pts.


So that's 24pts eaten out of a daily allowance of 21, plus a Body Combat class which earns me 6pts. 3pts banked. If anyone's dubious about the points for the Combat class, I wear an HRm for the class, calibrated for me, which clocked me at 632 calories in 58 mins - which I will bear testimony to with the sheer amount of sweat dripping off me and the bear continuous sticth for the hour long class ... good times!!

-- Posted from my iPhone

Think before you eat

My food intake the last two days has been getting worse not better, so today I'm experimenting with taking pics of everything to force me to think before I eat. Less cake that way hopefully!!!

I did go for my run last night - just a short one of 20 mins to ease back into it. Surprisingly, it didn't feel too bad at all considering I've not run in about 2 months, so I've not lost too much fitness, and I was able to put a nice little sprint in to finish up. REALLY need some full length tights and a jacket for the winter though - it was bloody arctic out in the wind last night!!!

-- Posted from my iPhone

Back on the bike

Yesterday went pretty much to plan ... apart from the dratted birthday cake, of which 2 small slices somehow insinuated their way into my mouth. Ummmm .... not sure how to excuse that, apart from to say it's very NICE cake, and somewhat healthy because it's got butternut squashes in it (ok, so it's less unhealthy), and that I intend to exercise more self-restraint later this evening in the face of the cake.

I got to spin last night, and busted a good sweat on the bike, as well as booking myself back in for Combat on Wednesday, so that's that part of my goals for the week being adhered to! I'm heading to the cinema tonight to see Bright Star (about the poet Keats), and I've planned a nice healthy, veg heavy dinner beforehand, which can be in the oven roasting whilst I bolt out for a quick run after work. Tick another point off my goals!

I was also good last night in two ways: firstly, I got back from spin and had a text asking if I wanted to go for home-made pizza next door with the boys. I wavered for 5 mins, thinking it would taste soooooo much nicer than my healthier, already pointed thin crust one from Pizza Express that I was planning to have for dinner, but in the end I stayed to eat mine as it was less points - tick! I also made myself get up off their sofa at 10pm, as I started to feel tired and GO TO BED, so I could get my 8 hours kip. Another tick and a gold star. Especially as the show we were watching was only halfway through and I missed the end.

So that's my life at the moment. I've got quiet nights with exercise planned til Thursday this week, then Fri I'm going to meet up with Jo, and Sat I'm off down to London to see some friends for a "quiet" night out in Clapham. Hopefully, I'm going to catch one of my schoolfriends, Koks, for coffee on Sunday on t'other side of Clapham Common and then crawl home for some sleep.

There are other things afoot in my life at the moment, things that make my stomach crawl with nerves, but I can't really talk about them yet. They're not bad, but they could potentially turn my whole life upside down, at least for a short time. I'll talk about them if anything happens (in fact you'd be hard put to miss them, if anything comes of it), but I may still yet bottle it, if I don't have the courage to see it through.

Intrigued?

Suffice it to say, that a year ago, I felt the same way, but didn't have the courage to even think about it. I'm still not sure I do now - but they always say that you regret the things you didn't do, not the things you did do, right?

And I'll leave you on that cliffhanger.

Sleeping it off

I've got a few things I want to talk about today, mostly to do with things I have recently noticed or discovered along this little weight loss caper I'm on.

In an odd twist this weekend, I've eaten and drank far more calories and fat in the past 3 days than I would usually consume but not seen the expected outcome. Friday was the worst, Saturday not so bad, and the same yesterday. I fully expected to see the scales go up this morning after the foody debauchery, but it had bizarrely dropped away from Friday's weight by nearly a lb.

First up, I reset the scale and stepped on a second time to double check what I was seeing. It was still the same, and when I put my work trousers on this morning, I noticed that they're sitting a tiny bit better too. So what's the answer to this mysterious loss? I have a theory.

Sleep.

Yep, sleep; not moving my butt, but in fact, NOT moving my butt is, I believe, the answer.

This weekend I got 3 really decent nights sleep of around 8 hours and woke up this morning feeling really refreshed for it. It's quite unusual for me to get a full 8 hours sleep as I usually clock around 6 hours or so. But I have noticed over the last month or 2 that the scales go in my favour when I manage to get a couple of nights in a row of decent 8 hour sleep.

And it's not just me; I read an article in December's Zest magazine corroborating this. Apparently health professionals dub it "inslimnia" and it's a known affect on the metabolism of minor sleep deprivation. When the body doesn't get enough rest the hormone balance gets out of whack, and the metabolism ends up being inhibited. My thoughts on this - I'm going to make a real effort over the coming weeks to get at least 4 or 5 nights of quality 8+ hours sleep a week. It might even help the ginormous bags under my eyes too!!

Discovery number 2, and we're returning to my underwear drawer. This has been the topic of coversation before, and we're delving in once more. Underwear is the one drawer that I've been less than stellar at sorting out and discarding from during my weight loss. I've bought new smaller knickers as I've gone along, but been shockingly bad at getting rid of the older / bigger stuff, and the result is chaos. Like most women, I have a ton of different sized bras in there. As I've lost weight I've noticed that the bigger ones are now too big - they are on the tightest fitting and still ride up my back, and now gape at the front. But I'm bad at throwing stuff out as it's so pretty, and it's kind of hard to determine when it's just TOO big.

No more. It's got to be sorted. For the first time EVER I bought new bras on Saturday and they were a 36in band. Even when I first got measured as a teen they were a 38in band. It's WEIRD having 36's fit. Anyway, I think this marks time that the 40's need to be chucked. Ditto any knickers that aren't a size 14 or 16. There's just no point and I might as well get properly cleared out since I said I'd chuck all the clothes in the massive pile this week.

On another overshare of information, I'd like to share my pleasure at the reappearance of my belly button piercing. I had it done years ago, in my gap year just after I'd left school. Over the subsequent years and weight gain, it kind of disappeared into a little overhang of fat. Ok, I'm kind of grossing myself out here, but it's the cold hard truth. It wasn't really visible anymore, and you can't imagine the feelings of jealousy that people like Brittany Spears and her tiny, flat abdomen induced in me. For some reason I never took the bar out though - prob on the basis that no-one really ever saw my belly anyway so it didn't matter. But slowly, slowly it's starting to make a reappearance, as my belly gets smaller and starts to tone up. It's a slow process, and I don't know how much progress I can reasonably expect to make after years of abuse but every little bit is a bonus.

Talking of progress and things fitting better, you might remember me talking a while ago about shopping for kit for Egypt, and the joy and relief of not having to worry about being able to find a brand that fits, and even having a choice of things. In 6 weeks I head off skiing, and obviously my stuff from last year doesn't fit. What does fit are the pair of ski trousers that I bought years ago.

I bought them for my 2005 ski trip, when I was at my heaviest. I'd ordered them over the Internet as they were listed as being a UK size 20, but I couldn't even get them past my thighs when they arrived and I was gutted but kept them in the vague hope that I would one day manage to diet my way into them. I've been trying them on intermittently since I started losing as they've been my long-term marker of my success. On Saturday I tried them on again and they now fit absolutely perfectly with even a bit of room to spare. So I only need to buy a jacket and mid-layers this year. The exciting thing is I've started looking at jackets and they're are so many cool brands I can choose from now. I absolutely love it - having this choice, as even the coolest of brands go to a size 14. This was one of my motivating factors when I started and I've achieved it.

Goals-wise for the week, as promised I've fully jumped straight back on plan today and have my food planned for the rest of the day. I've rung the gym and booked my spinning class, and I'll book my Body Combat when I'm there later. I've chucked out more stuff on the pile and I'm going to work on bagging it all up over the next couple if evenings - I'm still intending on getting it all out of the flat this week - and I think it's going to be quite a cathartic thing to do!!

Apologies for the lack of comments on other folks' blogs recently - I've been catching up on everyone's adventures via my iPhone, and it's hard to comment from here - but I will get back to my regular commenting soon!!

More anon, healthseekers!


-- Posted from my iPhone

Birthday celebrations

I've had a great birthday weekend, and had a lovely day yesterday. Friday turned into a bit of a massive overeat. I took cakes into the office, but made sure I took in small things that I could eat like French Fancies, which turned out to be a good thing. I had a gorgeous dinner at a local gourmet restaurant on Friday after work. The food was absolutely luscious, but being a birthday dinner, I chose exactly what I wanted, without a thought for healthy eating. Not something I do often these days, but it makes it a genuine treat when I do. I had an amazing open ciabatta with cajun steak, peppers, onion and cheese (lots and lots of cheese), and an absolutely massive pile of chips with real mayonnaise. YUM!!! And then there may have been sticky date and toffee pudding with honeycomb icecream ... droool .....

After a dinner that big, I just had homemade soup for tea, and honestly, I didn't really even need that, and felt pretty sick after eating so much, and then went for a very cheesey trip to the cinema to see New Moon, complete with Pic 'n' Mix. A loooooooot of food, but I don't do it often.

Yesterday, on my actual birthday I had a very lazy day, and got up late. It was really nice to have a chilled out day when I was able to watch a bit of tv, do some tidying up before guests arrived. I also had a couple of hours shopping and bought a lovely dress, which I'm so excited about, because it's sooooooo pretty :O)

I kept food normal during the day, poached egg on toast for breakfast and a jacket potato with prawns for lunch. We ate out again last night, but I picked healthily for that (lamb and couscous). There was some a little off-plan drinking, but genuinely not that much - I enjoyed what I had:


.... although maybe not the sambuca as much .....


... and then danced like a loon til gone 3am!

Finally stumbled into bed around 4-ish, but I feel good this morning, no hangover and pretty awake. I'm off for tea with my dad and my grandma in a bit and then catching up with some friends later.

Catch ya later!

I lost again

Weight that is. Yep, after much finger, toe, leg, arm and eye-crossing the scales magnanimously stayed right where they were and I'm now officially 12 st 9.5 lbs, which is a new all time low for me.

It does seem like I'm a bit tortoise-like with my progress, but I am, none the less, getting there one tiny bit at a time. 52.5 lbs gone, 17.5 lbs to go til goal.

A while ago, when there was still 50 or 40 or even 30 lbs to go, just losing 1.5 lbs a week made me think I would never ever get there. No wonder we're always advised to look to the shorter term goals. But now, with under 20 lbs left, it's really nice to be able to look at the final goal and see each little weekly movement putting a noticable dent in what's left to lose.

As I mentioned yesterday I was looking at my weight loss stats over the course of the year and I could see two things. My average losses have gradually been slowing down all year, and are now just a shade over 1 lb a week. But all the times I gain are holidays or a long weekend away with heavy duty partying. In between those I actually lose pretty consistently. At the moment I don't have anything like that in my diary til skiing a couple of weeks in to the New Year.

I'm celebrating my birthday this weekend (birthday is actually tomorrow) so I'm out for lunch today and dinner tomorrow plus some drinking and dancing, but I don't want to go too far off the rails. Next weekend I'm heading down to London to do some catching up with folks, but again, I'm not planning on going bonkers. Christmas for me is fairly restrained, and I'm working pretty much the whole holiday season this year anyway so it's not so hard to keep the indulgences limited to just the weekend.

I'm not putting any timescales on getting to goal now. My progress chart says I'll prob chug my way to goal sometime about mid-Feb, based on progress this year, and just for once, I'm not inclined to fight it anymore. I'll get there in my own sweet time and there's no point fretting over it. It will just be interesting to see what I can do when I'm not jetting off on holidays here, there and everywhere.

Aims for this week:

* Get back into usual exercise routine of spin class, body combat and body balance classes next week, or as much as my foot can take.
* Go for one run.
* Get rid of the piles of clothes on the floor of my room that have been sitting there for weeks and months because they're too big, because the pile keeps growing and I can't get in the bottom 3 drawers of my chest now!
* Whatever happens food / points wise over the weekend, jump back on it as soon as possible.

More anon, health seekers!

-- Posted from my iPhone

On the mend

I've been feeling pretty rough the past couple of days, hence my blog being rather quiet. I've been kicking the last of the stomach bug into touch, as well as the joy of THAT time of the month and a headache that didn't want to shift for about 36 hours.

I find these days that whilst I'm better at dealing with emotional eating issues like stress, I can still turn to food for comfort when it's physical discomfort. Having said that, I've only been a few points over on any given day, so whilst I'm eating more than usual, it's not particularly bad stuff.

Take last night for example: I was driving back from my speed awareness course (boring!!!!) and feeling absolutely shattered. My first thought was that I absolutely couldn't be bothered to cook and just wanted some "instant" food, so maybe I should stop at the takeaway on the way home. Then I thought about it, and actually thought that all the MSG in the food would just make me feel crappier afterwards and I didn't really want that. So then I thought I could just have the ready-done pizza from the fridge at home or just do some pitta bread and humous quickly. Then I thought a bit more and thought that I already had ready-cubed butternut squash in the fridge and it would barely take any longer to stick that in to roast and shove a chicken breast on the grill and some green veg on the hob.

Yes, folks, I actually started out wanting takeaway and talked myself back into a healthy meal, not because I thought I should or was feeling guilty about eating less healthily, but just because I wanted it. Weird. I'm sure these things usually go the other way round.

After dinner I curled up in bed with Strictly Come Dancing from the weekend and the remains of a tub of Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia low fat frozen yoghurt. God bless that stuff - I can scoff just under half a tub and it's still only about 5 or 6 points (should have weighed it out, but frankly didn't care, but by eye, it looked to be about 3 x 60g scoops).

This morning was a bit of a surprise as the scales have been a bit all over the place this week but suddenly jumped to a new all-time low this morning. I had to get on twice to believe it! If it stays anything close to that for tomorow's weigh in I'd be delighted.

I've not been exercising this week yet, due to the rather large gash on the top of my right foot courtesy of windsurfing on Sat. The only shoes I can currently put on are little pumps that don't cover the area at all or my Ugg boots which are soft and don't rub. Trainers are out, especially combined with lots of jumping round. But tonight is Body Balance which I can do because it's barefoot - yay!!!! I never thought I'd say it, but I'm actually looking forward to Balance and getting really stretched out.

Anyway, more anon, fellow health-seekers! Not sure how healthy this weekend will actually be, as it's my birthday and there is going to be a certain amount of eating out and drinking involved. But here's an interesting fact to finish with: I was looking at my weight loss patterns earlier today, an pretty much everytime I've gained (I think there have been 5 occasions to date) have been after holidays or trips away. The stay-the-same weeks are often around TOTM. Which means there's not a lot between now and Xmas to stop me getting some of this shifted. What stops your progress in it's tracks?


-- Posted from my iPhone

Body confidence

I've put up a load of photos from holiday here, but there's just one other I wanted to share with you:


I'm not perfect, and there's plenty of work still to do, but it's nice to feel like a bikini is at least an option, and it might not terrify the natives too much!

A huge improvement over h0w I felt this time last year.

Thank god.

Nose back to the grindstone

Hey guys, I'm back after my little sojourn to warmer waters (literally), and more or less in one piece. It was a most excellent holiday, and you can read about more about it -----> HERE!

Food-wise, the trip had it's ups and downs. Before I left, I set myself 2 goals for the week:

• to leave something on my plate at the Indian meal I went to with my Body Balance class the night before I left,
• and to write my journal whilst I was away.

Not so difficult, but I only managed a 50% pass rate! D'oh!! The meal was fine, but for various reasons the journal never made it past the first paragraph on the first day.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!

I went a lot like this -

Manic day rushing round on Sat, packing, running errands, tidying the flat, visiting my Dad, getting myself plus luggage to Jo's, then both of us to the hotel at Gatwick. Collapse in front of Strictly Come Dancing, eat dinner, sleep. No journal.

Up super-early, check out, car to airport parking, coach to airport, check in, 6 hour flight (?? Should have been 5, but they screwed up the take-off times a bit), 2 hours ahead in Egypt, transfer to hotel, eat exhausted dinner, sleep. No journal.

Hoof it to the beach, first morning sort out of teaching groups for the week, much windsurfing, exhausted dinner, welcome drinks in the evening, sleep, no journal.

Repeat on day 2, minus the first morning stuff, but plus one very messy night out in town. Throw up due to going completely bonkers on alcohol after time away from drinking. Pass out. No journal.

Wake up to find have developed bad stomach bug (locally known as Dahab Dash, since everyone gets it to some degree or another, spend next 36 hours throwing up, stomach cramps, "Dashing" and generally curled up in a small miserable ball on the bed, and gulping down the broad-spectrum anti-biotics I'd been prescribed by nice local pharmacist. Crawl out to the beach on the afternoon of the 4th day, lie in the sun (still no energy to windsurf), early night, no journal (and not a lot of food).

Days 5 and 6 - repeats of days 1 and 2, including very messy closing party, but minus the throwing up due to virtual alcohol poisoning this time. Still no journalling.

Final day - up early, hangover, lie on beach and chill for the morning, loooooooong trip home. No journal.

Whoops.

Food was generally up and down - breakfast and dinner were massive buffets, but eating a lot of good stuff in the evening like pitta, mezze and fish and rice. Breakfast was pancakes, lunch varied depending on what we got down on the beach - sometimes healthy like rice (and only half portions because appetite shot) and sometimes not so healthy like burgers. On 4 of the days, you can then add in at least several hours of windsurfing, falling in, manhandling kit and hauling myself out the water.

I did step on the scales yesterday morning when I got back, and they were ever so slightly up, but then I've been gulping down pills to try and settle my stomach for the last half of the week, so god knows what the true impact is. I'll weigh in properly on Friday and we'll see. Kind of hoping I'll have properly kicked this bug by then as it's still lurking!!

Anyway - I was straight back on plan yesterday morning, and did a shopping trip last night, with a list of meals for the week in mind. Had lucious venison burgers with roasted butternut squash with rosemary and broccoli and green beans last night - god, I missed veg while I was away!!!

Crash and Plan

Wow - I totally sucked at Combat last night. It was a really busy class, which I wasn't that keen on, as I literally had to check over my shoulder when I back-kicked to make sure I didn't thump my neighbour in the face. That kind of worry totally detracts from what should be an absorbing, focused work out.

Unfortunately, I also plunged headlong into the first four tracks full tilt and then completely crashed for the next four. Pure murder forcing myself to keep going and feeling unbalanced and unco-ordinated for it. I persevered and recovered my pace in the last couple of tracks, but not a great experience. I must make sure I pace myself better next class!

My eating's been a bit up and down this week - Tuesday wasn't so hot as we ate far too late on the way back from a shopping trip, and ate badly for it. I've also allowed some emotional comfort eating to creep in this week as I've been feeling a bit low, but aside from Tues I've reigned it in before I went over points. I don't know if 3 days clean eating out of 7 is enough to allow for a loss this week, but I'll keep my fingers crossed anyway.

On a side-note - shopping was a bit of a strange experience - for the first time that I can remember I was buying size medium tops. I still feel a bit like a fraud buying a medium but they all fit, so maybe not!

GOALS!!!!

I keep making the mistake of setting myself goals that are numbers related. And I keep failing them. After extensive reading of some fabulous blogs, I finally concede that I'm going about it all wrong. That there's no point trying to change the outcome without trying to change the process. So I'm going to set myself some new goals ... with not a scale number or measurement in sight. And I'm just going to start with a week at a time.

So, for this coming week this is what I'm thinking:

• I'm going for dinner to an Indian restaurant. I'm going to practice good eating behaviours and make sure I don't just hoover up all the food in sight - so I'm going to make sure I consciously leave some food on the plate. I'm also not drinking.
• I'm on holiday next week - so there's going to be a reappearance of the Croatia Journal. I will write in it each day and diary my food. No pointing but religious tracking.
• Activity while I'm away won't really be a problem but I will make a conscious effort, none the less, to do some every day, even on the days when we're not being taught. Even if it's just a walk the length of the beach and back.

Nice and simple - they are my goals for the next week. I'm not going to put restrictions on what I eat or drink as I know that I'll be drinking a lot of bottled water on the beach all day, but that fresh fruit and veg is hard to come by because of the being-washed-in-local-water issue. Food's pretty healthy out there anyway though - lots of fresh fish, plain chicken and rice.

Above all, I will enjoy myself, remember the progress I've made since last year, and concentrate on feeling good about myself.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Haven't done that in a while ...

... got straight on the treadmill after a very sweaty spin class and knocked out a quick run. It felt a bit laboured as I made a classic school-boy error this evening and had my tea waaaaaaay to close to going to the gym, but felt good to be back to normal anyway. Muscles functioning like they should be and actually able to do the cool-down stretches and revel in my nearly flexible-again body.

Good times.


-- Posted from my iPhone

Back to it

As you may have guessed from my various posts over the weekend, I pretty much departed from plan for the whole thing.

I had a great weekend but ate too much and by yesterday I was looking forward to getting on track. Having said that, it took me til this morning to actually do it. I didn't really want to point the weekend as I knew it would be wildly bad and not something I could possibly claw back this week, but thought I'd better just for the sake of knowing how bad it was. Now it's back to just making every day as good as it can be.

Lots going on this week, including a shopping night, a meal out and exercise classes and much to do in the way of washing clothes, packing and sorting for holiday. I've also got to make a massive attempt to tidy and clean the flat as I suspect the landlords will be over in the next couple of weeks to inspect the flat due to the change in tenants.


-- Posted from my iPhone