Friday, 25 December 2009

The sandwich that ruined Chrstmas

Guys - I tell you - Santa bought me the ultimate dieter's gift that keeps on giving this year!! Forget the Wii Fit Plus that my Dad bought me - this was the present that answers all a dieter's prayers. Have you guessed what it is yet?

Well have you?

Oh yes - Santa ... well, he bought me food poisoning. Gee thanks, Santa, you are tooooo kind!!!

Let me just explain the benefits of food poisoning to the dieter. What are the two things all dieters pray for at Christmas?

1. Some iron self-will so that they can make it through the days without completely derailing the old dieting wagon.
2. Spontaneous loss of those pesky extra lbs to make it to their end of year goals in one piece.

Thanks to Santa, I'm two for two on those wishes this year. I'm so nauseous I can't touch food - and in fact couldn't be in the same room as the turkey and had to run away to be sick. Again. And with my body's total rejection of all that was removable from it, I can safely say that the scales have moved heavily in my favour today. About half a stone in my favour when I looked several hours ago.

Santa, dude, you outdid yourself this year!!!

And if you haven't spotted the sarcasm yet, I'll come and hit you ... when I have any strength to get out of my bed.

The worst thing is I think this is self-inflicted. I was in a rush last night between getting back from lunch with friends and shooting out for drinks with old schoolmates, and I made myself a quick chicken wrap. I remember glancing at the date on the chicken and thinking it was a day or two past its display date but that it would be fine. I drenched it in sweet chilli sauce and wolfed it down. It wasn't til this morning that I realised that the date had said the 16th December - I don't know what date I thought it was yesterday but I seriously didn't twig that it was over a week out of date.

I'm feeling pretty guilty amongst other things because I'm staying at Dad's for the weekend, so not only was I not able to cook the lunch, which is my contribution to the day (and Dad has had to do as well as running out to do the 2 hour round trip to collect my grandma) but Dad's been running up and down the stairs every hour or so to check on me. He's a superstar.

So that's been my day - numerous sprints to the bathroom, lying in bed sleeping or feeling horrible, and nearly passing out earlier as I staggered back to bed.

I've now managed to sip about half a can of Coke (figured I needed the caffeine and sugar after the near-fainting) and I've nibbled about 3/4's of a Nice biscuit. That's it. I haven't opened my presents, seen my grandma or wrapped Dad's presents so he can have them.

I think we can safely say Xmas has been a write-off this year. I hope yours have been fab and you've faired better and had a great day! X

-- Posted from my iPhone


Zanna, travelling tart said...

Oh you poor thing - do hope you're beginning to feel a bit better now. Zxx

Tricia said...

Awww....hope you get to feeling better soon!