Wednesday, 16 December 2009

Soldiering on

I just read that Kari over at Fat Free Me has got to goal. Isn't that fantastic??? I am so pleased for her as I've been following her adventures for a while now and have admired her unswerving focus on what she was doing.

It does highlight to me though the following question - what the bloody hell have I been playing around at????? Whilst Kari has been steadily losing every week, I've been up, down, unmoving and then down a little bit more. I always knew it would get harder the further along I got, but for the last couple of months I've really struggled to move in the right direction.

I left for Croatia, back in August, weighing 13 and a half stone. In the 3 weeks after I got back I lost another half a stone, and I've essentially stayed pretty much there since then. I lost 3 lbs, I put it back on, lost it again and the scales continue to bounce.

I can't seem to find my rhythm at the moment - I've lost my groove.

I continue to do what I can, trying to make each new day, or even hour, a fresh start when I get it wrong, but it's not enough and right now I can't seem to get down to and through that 4 stone barrier. And it feels exactly that ... a barrier.

I'm not down and out yet, just struggling to get enough of it right to make any move forward. Last night is a good example - I made a healthy tea of homemade soup to counteract the big lunch, then made Xmas cookies to bring to work and made myself feel sick by eating the leftover dough after I'd cut out all the cookies. Stupid.

At least I'm leaving the cookies alone today though, even though the open tin is right in front if my desk. All I can do right now is keep my head down and keep plodding along.

I have to admit that I was half-tempted to say I'd switch to maintenance just for the Xmas period and give myself a break and a fresh start in the New Year, but that smells a bit too much like defeat to me so I won't do that. Well, not intentionally at least!!

Yesterday I said that I was just shooting for 12st 8lbs at the moment, and I am, because that's the golden number that tells me I'm back to breaking new ground. This morning the scales had somehow bounced back up 3lbs since yesterday so I've got my work cut out to turn this shit around. But I'm going to keep trying, keep working, keep pushing myself. Because sometime soon I'd like to make like Kari and shout GOOOAAAL!!

-- Posted from my iPhone

5 comments:

Tina xx said...

I can really associate with your post today. Yes its fantastic news about Kari. Like you say, every week she stays 100% focused and committed and she has got to GOAL !! So well deserved !!
But like you, I have been struggling the past month or so. I got into the 12's in july, and im still trying to get out of them !! I gain one week and lose the next !! Its so frustrating !!
All I can say is hang in there. Dont give up. I gained 3 lb last week (birthday) and yesterday the scales showed another pound on taking me to 12st 3....but low and behold i get on them today and they are now saying 12st !! The body is a weird thing !! Hang in there. It will happen. Maintainance may not be a bad idea over christmas. I have thought the same thing myself. Whatever you decide to do, come the new year im sure we will both find that urge again to shift the last bit, so that we also, can get to goal. Good luck and hope you have a lovely christmas x x

Linz M said...

Despite managing somehow to lose this week, I am the same. Struggling big time. I've only lost 6 pounds since the middle of October which is pretty rubbish really.....

BUT, we both know we can do this, we both have much better habits than we did when we started and we need to stop beating ourselves up. Look at how far you have come as opposed to how far you still have to go.

I have every faith in you that you will get there, it's just a bit of a bumpy road at the moment... but you can do it and you will be shouting GOAL soon!

xx

Claire xx said...

I have not been fabulous either for a while, but we all have to remember that we are smaller when we started and some day down the road we will be smaller than we are now. Keep going - you can do it!!
Claire xx

Tricia said...

Congrats to Kari!

I love to hear that youre going to keep plugging away. You can do it!

Zanna, travelling tart said...

I think sometimes though your body and you just need to pause and have a wee breather - and as long as you don't go crazy in that time - all it means is that your final date to reach goal moves a bit further out. And the positive is it teaches you a bit about maintaining. Zxx