I just read that Kari over at Fat Free Me has got to goal. Isn't that fantastic??? I am so pleased for her as I've been following her adventures for a while now and have admired her unswerving focus on what she was doing.
It does highlight to me though the following question - what the bloody hell have I been playing around at????? Whilst Kari has been steadily losing every week, I've been up, down, unmoving and then down a little bit more. I always knew it would get harder the further along I got, but for the last couple of months I've really struggled to move in the right direction.
I left for Croatia, back in August, weighing 13 and a half stone. In the 3 weeks after I got back I lost another half a stone, and I've essentially stayed pretty much there since then. I lost 3 lbs, I put it back on, lost it again and the scales continue to bounce.
I can't seem to find my rhythm at the moment - I've lost my groove.
I continue to do what I can, trying to make each new day, or even hour, a fresh start when I get it wrong, but it's not enough and right now I can't seem to get down to and through that 4 stone barrier. And it feels exactly that ... a barrier.
I'm not down and out yet, just struggling to get enough of it right to make any move forward. Last night is a good example - I made a healthy tea of homemade soup to counteract the big lunch, then made Xmas cookies to bring to work and made myself feel sick by eating the leftover dough after I'd cut out all the cookies. Stupid.
At least I'm leaving the cookies alone today though, even though the open tin is right in front if my desk. All I can do right now is keep my head down and keep plodding along.
I have to admit that I was half-tempted to say I'd switch to maintenance just for the Xmas period and give myself a break and a fresh start in the New Year, but that smells a bit too much like defeat to me so I won't do that. Well, not intentionally at least!!
Yesterday I said that I was just shooting for 12st 8lbs at the moment, and I am, because that's the golden number that tells me I'm back to breaking new ground. This morning the scales had somehow bounced back up 3lbs since yesterday so I've got my work cut out to turn this shit around. But I'm going to keep trying, keep working, keep pushing myself. Because sometime soon I'd like to make like Kari and shout GOOOAAAL!!
-- Posted from my iPhone
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