Today's prompt to disclose comes from Hetty.
Anyone who's been around the blogging universe for a while, knows that radio silence usually roughly equates to a blogger struggling manfully (womanly? Womanfully? Why is there no equivalent????) with the urge to stuff there gob full of chocolate (or pick your alternative poison here) and trying not to waste any by smearing it on your face in the unseemly rush to do it. Right. RIGHT?
So in the spirit of total honesty I shall put my hand up and admit that I ate quite a lot of chocolate this weekend. An entire 140g bar of Dairy Milk to be quite precise - which is 20 points if you're at all curious. And whilst it was lovely (bloody delicious in fact), that is not going to get me to goal. And to be fair, at the point in time while I chowing it down and savouring it .... no unseemly haste for me ... the answer to "how much do I want it?" was "chocolate more than weight loss".
Surprisingly though, after a weekend that has included pizza, Maltesers, Dairy Milk, Yo! Sushi, Tarragon Chicken cooked for friends, home baked muffins and lunch out yesterday, I'm not actually in points deficit yet. Yes, I've used my daily points and all of my flex, but I haven't burned through all of my activity points as yet, so I'm obviously doing something right.
Last night, I sat there and asked myself how much I wanted it. The weekend guests had gone home, the mess had been tidied, and I was left wondering what to have for dinner. I sat on the floor with my laptop and my tracker and asked myself why I had eaten quite so much this weekend, and what I planned to do about it. My original meal plan called for me to polish off the leftover pizza last night, but that would put me closer to a points deficit than I cared to be, so I swapped a few things round and had stir-fry instead. Right at that moment in time, with all that junk food eaten, I could feel the craving to keep eating that way even though the bonus points were all gone. What I couldn't feel was the burning motivation that's got me through the last couple of weeks.
But I did know that I would feel it again, once the junk food was out of my system, and I'd only be cross if I screwed it up now. All but 2 of the muffins had been sent home with Bec, since she's trying to put weight on and they're IBS friendly for her. There's not much junk left in the house, so I just needed to pick up the slack and carry on where I left off. The only possible slip up is dinner out at a really good Tapas restaurant tonight, which I can't really cancel for dieting reasons as it's a date (yay!). So I'll just have to be a good little girl and not go crazy. Stick to the healthy choices in a subtle manner and lay off the booze. Other than that it's a clean social-free week ahead to keep the scales going the way I like them.
And on that note .... despite everything this weekend, the scales are lower than Friday. Which is great considering they usually bounce up slightly over the weekend anyway :o)
If Hetty can do full disclosure so can I. Now I'm off to finish my work and then go home and panic about what to wear tonight. Sometimes being a girl sucks!
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