KK @ Running Through Life posted something this morning that really resonates with me. Particularly after Tuesday's musings on my seemingly bi-polar self-image and the realisation that perfection is not, after all, only a few lb's away.
It really helps me to be able to put a name to what I've been feeling - Phantom Fat, because I'm the sort of person that hates uncertainty, and likes to deal in cold, hard fact. Information and knowledge are my weapons of choice, and naming my enemy means I can go learn about him and do something constructive.
It's also really good to know that I'm not alone in these feelings. I knew that straight away from the comments I received, but reading KK's follow up post, containing her own thoughts and feelings on the article, bought that home. It was further illustrated when I wandered off to Google "phantom fat" and ended up on an eating disorders blog and saw that this is something that affects people of all weights, shapes and sizes. In fact, as far as I can make out, it's body dysmorphia by another name - that beasts that drives so many people to anorexia and bulimia and other obsessive compulsive problems.
But the good thing is, that knowing what we face and understanding it is half the battle to triumphing over it. There are loads of exercises and routines you can use to help reset your perception of yourself to your current body size - keeping your fat pants so you can prove to yourself how far you've come, comparing before and after photos - both things that force your mind to accept the truth of change. And for those who struggle even after that - I now know that there is counselling and help available, should I ever need it. I don't want to be like one of the ladies in the article - not able to fully appreciate what I've managed to achieve.
So, with just over 30lbs left to get to goal, I reckon I've got time to adjust. As I sit here this morning, munching on my fresh pineapple, I know that the biggest challenge for me personally will be to have realistic expectations of what I can achieve through weight loss and exercise, so that I can finally reach a point where I'm happy, and know when to stop at a sustainable and healthy weight.
What's your biggest challenge going to be?
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