One of my best friends just texted me to say that she's got engaged. Her boyfriend, who I introduced her to about 4 years ago, got down on one knee on the beach at sunset in Cape Cod and proposed.
This should be wonderful news, but instead I just feel hollow. Another friend, younger than me too, getting on with a part of life that seems to pass me by.
To add insult, an even closer friend emailed me yesterday to ask advice because she's been offered yet another promotion with her work; another payrise and a possible move to London and an even more prestigious director's title than the one she has now. She's 30 and she's already a director with her company. But she's not sure what it means for the 4 bedroom detached property she was just about to buy, so she's trying to find out if work will pay for her pad in London so she can buy the place in the country anyway. This, while I'm contemplating cutting my social life back to nothing at all because I can barely afford to pay my bills at the moment.
Why do other people's fortunes always go up when mine seem to hit rock-bottom? Some people say "why me"? I feel more "why's it never me?".
But mostly I wish I was a nicer person who could at least feel joy at other people's successes and good news instead of just letting it reflect how much of a failure I feel; 30, flat broke and alone.
- Posted from my iPhone
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