After I finished the Comparisons post yesterday, I decided to try and make a little of my own luck. After all, just because it doesn't feel like anything much has gone my way recently, doesn't mean I a) can stop trying, or b) it won't change.
So I MTFU (which is Manned the Fuck Up for anyone not speaking shorthand), and took my rather self-pitying self down to speak to the bank branch at work one more time. Sure, I spoke to them a couple of weeks ago, and they said they'd get back to me, but they hadn't yet. And either that means they'd forgotten about me, and I wasn't doing myself any favours by allowing them too, or my credit risk really has crashed, in which case, isn't it better to know for sure? (noooooooo, clearly I want the answer to this to be no. If I bury my head in the sand and make like an ostrich it's more comforting than knowing it's all going down the swanny!!!!).
Bollocks - friendly girl I've dealth with before was on the phone, so I had to talk to the slightly scary looking man. Ok, it doesn't change my problem - talk, Sue, talk!!! Turns out that scary, serious-looking man is actually very smily and nice and non-judgmental (yes, yes, yes - I should be the first person to know that first impressions can be highly misleading), and, more-to-the-point, is very helpful. Anyhoo, the system isn't offering me a loan at the moment, but Richard (Mr. Friendly Bank Man) says that he'll speak to lending and see what they can do, because they're able to over-ride the system when it comes to staff sometimes.
I have to admit, that given all the recent disappointment and set-backs when it comes to money, I wasn't overly hopefuly that they'd be able to help me, but I felt better just asking. Certainly, his answer-phone message, which I picked up after a tedious 3 hour long technical update this morning, wasn't giving anything away. I fully expected him to say they wouldn't be able to help.
But here's the thing about trying, and keeping trying, to make your own luck: sometimes, something goes your way. No, they can't give me a loan for the full amount straight away. But it's not because my credit's shot, it's just because they have a quota of lending they're allowed to apportion each month, and they've hit it already for this period, so aren't really approving much right now. In fact, my internal credit rating is in the highest bracket possible. PHEW!!! Since they can't offer me the loan, they are offering me an interest-free staff credit card in the meantime, and as soon as it's activated, they're going to set the limit as high as lending will let them, so I can have a balance transfer and buy myself a bit of breathing space from the disgustingly high interest rates on my current credit cards. Then they'll review the loan situation when the next "period" rolls round.
They even had all the paperwork for the card there for me, so all I had to do was sign. And they'll do the rest for me.
So it's not a quick fix, but it is a tiny step on the road to trying to make things better for myself. Maybe my luck is starting to turn around a little? In the meantime, I shall try and be as sensible as possible. The last couple of months haven't been great with my spending, as either extra bills or 30th birthdays have caused expenditure I wasn't really budgeting for. But starting from now, it all gets a little quieter over the summer. Friends are away on holiday, and my closest friend in Bristol is off travelling for 3 months from the weekend. July is another quarter-end, so another month of no social life whatsoever as work goes nuts again. And the week after next I'm away from Bristol anyway, as I head off for a quiet week in Exmoor with my Dad.
There are opportunities to try and claw back some of the over-indulgence of the last few months. Not so many weekends away (in fact very few), and not so much eating out or drinking on a regular basis. Time to learn to live within my means. And if the weather will co-operate a little, then there's also time to use a bit of my weekends and holiday to get outdoors, on foot or on my bike, and enjoy a little local scenery. Maybe even a bit of surfing (although I need to be careful with that, because obviously that's not quite cost-free). Also time to tackle some of the things I've been meaning to do for a while, like trying to declutter my belongings a bit, ahead of maybe moving flat again in the Autumn.
Even when I have all the worries and anxieties I mentioned last post, I can still see the sunshine between them - which is the difference I guess between real, crippling anxiety or depression, and still having the fighting spirit to try and improve my situation.
Other things to make me smile today: a dinner that was both healthy and amazingly tasty - so simple: grilled Cajun spiced chicken, roasted butternut squash and a veg ratatouille that made my mouth sing!! And leaving work at the same time as a cute guy you work with, but have never spoken to, and somehow starting random conversation (ahhh - the weather - that most English of all conversations); we walked out the door at the same time, it started raining, and bless him, he offered me his umbrella (he had a waterproof on, I had no coat) - how sweet!
I don't expect much from my Friday weigh in tomorrow, as it's that time, so I'll be happy if I can stay somewhere in the ball-park I was in last week and just keep working on slowly improving my eating still. This weekend should be a relatively quiet one, as the only thing on the agenda are Hannah's leaving drinks tomorrow night. I'm debating trying to be uber-good though and skipping dinner out and just joining them afterwards - we'll see.
Laters, makers of our own luck!
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