Disclosure

In the spirit of full disclosure, I would like to admit that my eating has not been spectacular the last couple of days.  I can't tell you quite how bad though, since I haven't actually tracked ... which should be ringing a fair few warning bells for a start.

It's not terrible either, just not great.  Middle-of-the-road-not-going-to-shift-any-lbs eating.  Friday night's binge was followed by some more moderated eating on Saturday, although I couldn't actually tell you what I ate for dinner on Saturday night, as I haven't a clue.  Long hours at work are starting to tell on me a bit, and the days are all blurring together rather now.  I know I made the best of my lunch choices, given work was providing, and shared a Pizza Express pizza for one, a single portion of dough balls and a side salad with one of my colleages.  I think I ate something like pasta for tea, so I don't imagine it was terrible.

Sunday, I managed a precious day off work, and promptly slept til pretty much lunchtime.  I did manage to clamber back on to the conscious eating wagon at that point, and a small bowl of pasta lasted me through an afternoon's shopping, until a strategic coffee and a skinny muffin from Starbucks.  I did try something new and tasty for dinner on Sunday though - pasta with a chorizo, red pepper and chilli sauce - which was delicious, but then went and ruined the whole effect with half a tub of Haagen Dazs.

And the other half disappeared last night.  So you see, I seem to be in a pattern where I eat well most of the day, and then spoil it at the last moment.  I think it's a mix of being tired and stressed from work and silly long hours, and feeling a bit lonely without my usual social life to keep me out of mischief.  In theory, that's a mix that should cause me to eat well because there's nothing to distract me, but I'm letting emotions getting in the way, a bit too much.

So right now - I'm sitting (un)pretty back up at 12st 11lbs and not particularly happy about it. 

The spark of fight hasn't been totally squashed yet though.  Despite not getting home til 9.30pm last night, and not making it to bed til 12.15pm, I hauled ass out of bed at 6am this morning to go to spin class - some activity is better than none.  I'm going to try and backtrack and track as much as I can of my eating the last couple of days, so I know where I am, and I'm going to eat 29 points today, and not more.  No trying on that last one.  I will. 

And I'm feeling a little better emotionally, after two long phone conversations with 2 very old friends over the last couple of nights, and a little catchup online with my 3rd close friend who's currently in Bolivia, travelling over the Summer.  I've also got a few things to look forward to this weekend:  work drinks on Friday night with my team (who I get on really well with and are always fun, plus understand and have been going through the same stress as me at work), and a Supper Club on Saturday night.  I've wanted to go to one of these for ages, and as it happens a friend of a friend who I know a little, but really like, is starting one with her boyfriend and is trialling it with friends and acquaintances first.  So this Saturday night, me plus 9 or so random people, who I may or may not know, will descend on their house for a surprise 5 course meal of locally sourced, seasonal ingredients, for the non-extortionate cost of £10 a head, with and profits to charity.  And bring-your-own-booze.  Sounds like a winner to me!  I'm also going to see Harry Potter this week if I can.

But best of all - there's light at the end of the tunnel, because I've got two weeks of leave approved for August.  I may sleep all of the first week.