Mmmm - having a lovely day off today, and I can't quite decide what to do with myself. I know that it should involve some low points and exercise as I was a little bit naughtly last night at the quiz and a plate from the buffet that I didn't really have the points for. It's funny - I think that's probably the first time I've really slid back into old habits since I started the WW's - just took one unconsciously without really thinking about whether I was actually hungry or wondering about how many points it would cost - I must knock that habit on the head as it's pretty self-destructive when you think about it. Note to self - please stop acting like a sheep and following the herd to the buffet table!!!
I've got a couple of hours before I'm due at the hairdressers this afternoon, and I need to take some shoes back to the shop and see if the smaller size will fit, so I think I'll get my bike out and cycle down there as it's only a couple of miles. I might have to walk back up the rather large hill on the way back though! That way I can fit in some exercise and feel like I'm being good for the environment - and it's more interesting than just going to the gym on my own!
I was reading a thread on the forums yesterday where some people were discussing why then tend to unconsciously sabotage their own diet efforts. One lady's post caught my eye because she said that she thought she was afraid to get thin again because people treated her differently the last time she lost a lot of weight. It's got me thinking, wondering if people will treat me differently as I lose more weight. I wonder if my friends will treat me any differently (I hope not as I like my relationships with my friends the way they are and would hate to see anything get in the way of that), and then I wonder if strangers will treat me differently.
I have always assumed that if people's reactions to me do change it would be in a good way, but now I wonder - this lady had clearly had some kind of bad experience. It's not good is it, that we seem to be so hung up on appearance that we really do take into account a person's looks in the way we treat them. Am I suddenly expecting that people who have never noticed me before will do so? Do I even really want them to? Do we half think that if we get slimmer we really will emerge like a butterfly from a chrysalis - that it will magically make us pretty and more attractive like some character in a fairytale? And if it doesn't how do we deal with the disappointment of that? I for one have not a clue how my face will look when I lose weight - I can't imagine it as very different - maybe just a slightly more defined jaw - so really what reason would anyone have to see me as someone different? I wish sometimes that we could look into the future and see how things will be, and know if they will really make us any happier. Looking back at my list of motivations, I can see that appearance really doesn't rate that highly on the list of benefits I thought of, and yet I have to admit it is something that occupies me - can losing weight really make you happier? Or does it just make life easier? Or does it really make no difference at all (apart from the obvious health benefits)?
Arrrggghhh - too introspective!!! Time to go out and enjoy the sunshine I think!
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