You know the phrase "banging your head against a brick wall"?
Well, I've felt rather like that's what I've been doing for the last 5 weeks or so. My weight's gone down a bit, then it's gone up, it's been down, it's stayed the same, but not a lot of progress has been made overall. My head wasn't strong enough to break the wall I'd run up against, but I just kept on headbutting it anyway, getting frustrated, but not getting anywhere much.
Persistence appears to be the key though. Every little time I made an effort, every time I hit that wall, made an impact. I might not have been able to see it, but weaknesses appeared, and then this morning it's like a little chunk finally fell out the wall - a visible sign of the impact I've made. The scales finally moved down again.
The point I'm trying to make - persistence pays off. Doesn't matter if you feel like you're trying to smash through a wall with your head, or cut down a tree with a nail file, or even just chipping away at all those unwanted stones of flesh on your body, one tiny pound at a time - it all adds up. You might not always see it, but one day you'll turn around and realise how far you've come.
Excuse the horribly mixed metaphors - I know they don't make a whole lot of sense - blame it on addled brains after all that proverbial head-banging!
What's more exciting than the glimmer of hope that the scales might start moving in the desired direction? That I think I've formed a new, good habit. One I can take away and use elsewhere in my life. Persistence. I haven't given up. Not even when things didn't look so good. When I've tripped up, I've picked myself up and started again. When the road took a detour, I kept on plodding. When the destination looked so bloody far away that I want to cry, I just looked at my feet and kept on walking, one little step at a time ... and if I keep doing that - mostly concentrating on what my feet are doing and the ground right in front of me, and just occasionally checking that I'm still heading in the right general direction, I'll get there.
More mixed metaphors - sorry.
The good thing with this persistence malarkey, is that it will carry me clean past goal if I let it. Into maintaining my new healthy lifestyle. Through whatever challenge I set myself next, because really, it's just the power to make the right decision every time something is put in your path. To weigh up the pros and cons, and decide which you want more at the end of the day. And it seems that most decisions come down to whether you want instant gratification or a long term return.
Talking of which - I've just been given a chocolate chip muffin. Because I'm a geek I got the nutritional information and just worked out that that bastard's 7.5 points. I don't want it but can't really give it back - any suggestions on what to do with it???? Seems a bit of a waste to just put it in the bin, but then I don't want to put it in my mouth either!!!! Bugger. It's sat on my desk giving me evils at the moment.
Not that it really matters - I've got my mojo back, and my self-belief, and my confidence in my ability to make the right decisions.
My back's also well on the way to being better. I can MOVE AGAIN!!!! YAAAAAAAY!
So I'm muchos looking forward to returning to spin class tonight. I'm just going to take it easy, but I can't wait for the easy camaraderie of class, and just doing something. After that I've got some of the girls coming over for a little catch up - good times ahead.
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