Damn, damn, damn. My willpower is something like an urban legend - tales of it abound, but it's not often seen.
So I've been waxing lyrical recently on how I was going to be really good with the food, and in reality, I'm just not very good at that. It was going ok this week, and then last night my friend was round, and there were 4 cookies left in the tin, and I really wanted them, so we had 2 each, even though I knew perfectly well that I'd just reached my points allowance for the day.
Today we've just got back from a lunch buffet and I wasn't being too careful with what went on my plate, aside from not going back for seconds, but I've just pointed it up and now I'm out of points for today and have already gone over by about 2 or 3, and still have food this evening to consider.
I could swear blind that I'll get it back over the weekend, but realistically I'm going down to London overnight tomorrow for a concert in Hyde Park, so I probably won't save anything while I'm away.
And the scales are stubbornly refusing to move in either direction at the moment, which is really freakin' annoying. Hmmph.
No reason to give up just yet, but I'm annoyed with myself. Why is that something a small as a little restraint is beyond me? This is totally my problem - look at any area of trouble in my life and it's down to no self-control. I'm late or I miss deadlines because I didn't make the effort to get off my ass, stop doing whatever was more interesting, and doing something I was meant to be doing. I'm broke because I didn't make the decision to not spend all my money on stuff I can't really afford. And I'm overweight because I didn't bloody say no.
Basically, I'm just feeling guilty at the moment, that I'm just arsing around and not making as much progress as I feel I should be. It feels like not making a 100% effort is cheating myself somehow, and every little slip-up is a black mark against me. I suppose in reality, this is just life and it's hard to live it in a perfect little bubble of foody wholesomeness, but I'm struggling to see it that way.
I need a bloody kick up the arse. The only good thing is that I have at least added spinning to my activities done this week, so at least that's two bits of exercise accomplished.
I spent some time this morning looking up dance classes near me. I've been itching to have a go at street dance for ages, but I'm too scared that everyone else will be tiny. I found a group that meets near where I work once weekly which doesn't look toooooo scary, so I'm wondering whether to give that a go. I also found out that the dance studio I looked at a while ago in my home town has massively extended its timetable and now has loads of cool classes on there like street dance, hoop dancing, swiss ball pilates and kick-boxing, all of which I'd be interested in having a go at. Maybe I'll start with something gentle, and not too scary like the pilates and see how I go.
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