Monday, 10 August 2009

HMPH!

Sorry to be back so soon, but I've a few things I want to say to myself, and I might as well name and shame myself publicly.

After I did my earlier post, I updated my own personal weight tracker that I keep. And I'm not happy with myself. In the last 7 weeks, I have lost a miniscule 1.5lbs. That is SHIT.

What in hell am I playing at? Not losing weight, that's for sure.

My overall average weightloss per week (ignoring the bumper 3 weeks when I first started as they skew everything) has dropped right down to a measley 1.1lbs a week - way, way down on where I started out, and seemingly continually getting lower.

My getting-to-goal date has shifted back from sometime in November, in time for holiday, to sometime about New Year, and has now disappeared off the end of my model and sometime into next year.

Nope - definitely not a happy bunny. I seem to have lost my zeal to do everything absolutely right. I still do ok points wise, but I don't plan like a used to, and when I save some points, I let myself use them on empty calories. Actually, on that point, too many of my points are getting used on empty calories and "treat" food, full-stop.

I know that we can't be perfect all the time, and that to strive for that is to set yourself up for a fall, but I'm in danger of falling back into old habits and just eating diet alternatives instead.

I've obviously got another holiday coming up which is liable to be another set-back. Another 10 days when I won't be able to point or track online. Won't be able to blog, and will be tempted to get sucked into the "holiday eating" mentality.

I'm walking a fine line between balancing the relaxing of my eating vigilance with my exercise which is still increasing in intensity bit by bit. But if this last week's anything to go by, I'm sometimes stepping over the line, instead of walking it, and I don't even realise it.

I don't know if this is compacency, because the weight does keep trickling away, or tiredness because I've been at it consistently(ish) for over 7 months now, or because I've become a bit more comfortable with where I am now, or something entirely different, but I need to get a handle on it.

I'm also sure I've written this post before, and yet here I am writing it again. I don't want to fall in the trap of falling off the wagon, and then posting about how I'll start again for the eleven-ty millionth time, and you guys reading it and just shaking your head thinking but she won't, will she? I read too many blogs like that, and they're depressing.

Nobody can do this for me, except me. So I need to get up off my ass and do it properly.

5 comments:

Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

Being hard on yourself is okay, but be realistic, too. You're a lot closer to your goal weight than I lot of people on this road, and you may not experience the massive losses they sometimes do. Yours is more likely to be a slower-paced affair, and I think the 1 to 1.5 lb. per week average is a good healthy one for (and this is vitally important) sustained weight loss.

So what if that puts you into spring of next year to reach your goals? It'll be here before you know it.

Celebrate the fact that you're losing at all. Some folks would love to have the kind of results you're grousing about...

Linz M said...

I still think losing a pound a week on average is pretty good!

This is a change for life and it means that sometimes (as I discovered at the weekend) life just takes over and stops you from being a saintly weightwatcher. At least you now make better choices than you once did.

I know that I would much rather get to goal slowly and have had a life in the process, than get to goal quickly and be unable to maintain once I got back to reality.

You're doing great and at least you are staring goal in the face!

starfish264 said...

Ok - that's a fair point. I actually just sat down and did something to cheer myself up and re-motivate me - I wrote a letter to myself. I'll open it on my birthday, but it really cheered my up writing it, and it's made me feel a bit more hopeful.

I think it's more my lack of consistency than the speed that annoys me - if it was a 1lb a week every week, I doubt I'd be feeling like this, but it's the losses here and gains there.

I do take your point on board though - thanks!

Fat[free]Me said...

(((hugs)))

7 months is a long time, I think it is understandable to lose vigilance a few times over that period of time. I know I have in my 5.5 months. Getting the balance right between having a life and following a health plan is very difficult and the holidays are very important to your overall well-being.

You have lost a lot of weight so far and even though it isn't as fast as you would like (why oh why can't it happen overnight?), it is still a downward trend and at a rate that will stay off.

I say, enjoy a mindful holiday, eat sensibly and healthily, but enjoy every bite and when you come back get cracking on a new regime that you can enjoy.

Rapunzel said...

Oh, hon, there's a fine line between self-awareness and self-abuse, please don't cross over to the latter!

I feel your frustration and right there with you, but we can and will do this! Hang in there w/me, ok?