I’m feeling a little lost today. Lost and a bit miserable if I’m totally honest.
A whole group of my friends went away skiing yesterday, which was something I wanted desperately to do – to go with them. I know I couldn’t go because work is so manic that there is absolutely no chance of time off, but really that just covers the underlying reason that I couldn’t go because I’m so broke at the moment.
Absolutely flat, stony broke. And whilst I have acknowledged that fact to myself, and that I need to address it now rather than letting it spiral any further, that means that my depressing reality for the next couple of years is that I have virtually no spare money at all. Not for holidays or shopping or extras.
Everything just feels a bit much today – friends gone away without me (even though it is just for a week), no money, hardly any friends down here, and a lot of stress at work. It feels all a bit much to handle, and what I could really do with is a big hug … but there’s no one here to give me one, so I’m having a wallow in self-pity for a little while instead.
The eating has survived today more or less in tact despite that. I took cupcakes to work which I baked yesterday and I didn’t have one of them – well, not one of the iced ones anyway – I had one of the remaining un-iced ones for dessert after my dinner. I had intended to run too tonight, but not finishing up in the office til quarter to 8 kind of put paid to that. But I have already packed my kit for tomorrow so I can spin at lunchtime, and made my sandwiches too.
Another day done – tomorrow can only be better right?