Monday, 24 January 2011


I’m feeling a little lost today.  Lost and a bit miserable if I’m totally honest.

A whole group of my friends went away skiing yesterday, which was something I wanted desperately to do – to go with them.  I know I couldn’t go because work is so manic that there is absolutely no chance of time off, but really that just covers the underlying reason that I couldn’t go because I’m so broke at the moment.

Absolutely flat, stony broke.  And whilst I have acknowledged that fact to myself, and that I need to address it now rather than letting it spiral any further, that means that my depressing reality for the next couple of years is that I have virtually no spare money at all.  Not for holidays or shopping or extras. 

Everything just feels a bit much today – friends gone away without me (even though it is just for a week), no money, hardly any friends down here, and a lot of stress at work.  It feels all a bit much to handle, and what I could really do with is a big hug … but there’s no one here to give me one, so I’m having a wallow in self-pity for a little while instead.

The eating has survived today more or less in tact despite that.  I took cupcakes to work which I baked yesterday and I didn’t have one of them – well, not one of the iced ones anyway – I had one of the remaining un-iced ones for dessert after my dinner.  I had intended to run too tonight, but not finishing up in the office til quarter to 8 kind of put paid to that.  But I have already packed my kit for tomorrow so I can spin at lunchtime, and made my sandwiches too.

Another day done – tomorrow can only be better right?


Seren said...

I can only offer a virtual hug I'm afraid...hope it helps a little.

If it's any consolation I think there are quite a few people who are really feeling the pinch at the moment. And although addressing it and cutting back on spending now doesn't feel like a great decision at the moment, the spiralling option would be far, far more painful.

Huge well done for keeping the eating on track in the face of all that stress. Hope today proves a little better. If you can manage it try to find a way to pamper yourself that doesn't cost much - the old bath bomb and face mask combo sometimes works for me.


Peridot said...

Ahhh, you will feel better. Having no money sucks - I know this - but the constant anxiety caused by spiralling debt is pretty grim too so take heart! And hopefully you're one of the lucky ones who gets endorphin highs from exercise.

Linz M said...

Hope you're feeling a bit better today. I know where you are coming from with the lack of cash, unfortunately, I am not at all sensible when it comes to this and over spend and then panic later.

Big hugs xx