Monday, 27 April 2009

The internal debate rages on

There's cake on the other side of our office. It's wedding cake - rich fruit cake with about an inch of marzipan and icing coating it. I don't even like fruit cake much, but I am so damn tempted to go and grab a piece because I'm craving the pure sugar hit of the icing.

Bad, bad, bad and totally wrong.

So I'm sat here typing this instead, and in a bit I'll have a cereal bar because I am actually a bit hungry. It won't be nearly as satisfying from a sugar point of view, but neither will it have guilt attached to it, and it will keep me full for longer.

I don't need the cake, so why do I want it so damn much?

I'm sure the answer is partly grumpiness. I lost the half a lb I needed for the Mayday Challenge, but mostly only because of rounding up of numbers last week and rounding down this week. I hate my losses being so blaaaah.

But I read some wisdom last week (and I'm sorry - I can't remember who's blog this was on - I'd attribute it to you, Dear Writer, if I could remember who you were!) that we never really have weight loss plateaus, we have weight loss effort plateaus and I think that exactly hits the nail on the head.

I can sit here and grumble all I like about plateaus, my metabolism, TOTM, water retention in muscles due to new exercise and the universe in general being against me, but if I'm being brutally honest, this is my fault.

Sure, I pick up the activity points, save food points, drink plenty of fluids and all the other things we're meant to do, but in the end I could probably pinpoint half a dozen points through the week where I could have been better.

My food choices during the weekend still leave a lot to be desired. I keep falling into the trap of thinking I've got so many saved points that I can do what I want. I also think that my portion sizes have crept up again. In terms of pointed stuff, I'm still pretty good at weighing and measuring anything I'm not sure about, but I've been bulking my plates out with zero point veg and eating all of it even when I've got to the point that I'm past full and starting to feel uncomfortable. Snacking has also crept back into my diet this past week, and it's so hard to keep track of what you've eaten. I've just remembered that I had 3 shortbread biscuits on Sat night that weren't pointed. So what else have I forgotten? And I've been craving chocolate like there's no tomorrow - I don't know if that's down to getting my period and being hormonal, or just that I really fancy it, but last night I could seriously have eaten a block of the stuff.

So here's the plan for this week:
  • If I'm still wanting the chocolate by tonight I'll get some nice dessert from the supermarket - probably chocolate cheesecake - and I'll have the damn thing. The points will be counted, but I'll be happy.
  • I'm going to point everything like it's week 1.
  • When I go to pile on the veg to bulk out the plate, I'm going to stop and think if I'm really that hungry - if I am, fair enough, but I have somehow regained my fear of the small portion and I need to kick that back into touch.
  • I'm going to attempt to make sure I stick to my individual daily point allowance on Fri, Sat and Sun rather than relying on saved points. And yes, I know I'm going out to lunch on Sat, so that will just have to be a challenge I deal with.

Them's my aims for the week - let's see if I can stick to them (sp - I'm aware of the grammatical error in the sentence - I'm just making my point :o)).

Other than that, I've got my second full exercise week starting today - Body Pump tonight (please God, make it hurt less than last week!), gym tomorrow, or possibly a run, Spinning on Weds, and running on Thurs - although I've now been told that my new running partner is actually sodding off for the next couple of weeks, so I'm on my own.

So here we go with another week.

PS - I haven't said it recently - so thanks so much to the lovely people who comment on this blog - I love seeing your encouragements, commiserations and general points of view, so keep 'em coming! Mwah - big kiss!! xx

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