So far this whole week's been a bit half-hearted. In fact all my efforts feel a bit half-hearted at the moment. The exercise is going ok, but my eating's still a bit off this week, and once again I'm relying on my activity points to get me through the week. The scales still stubbornly refuse to move in the right direction, which is annoying as I so, so wanted to lose this week and preferably get to that elusive 2 stone marker that I've been muttering on about for a couple of weeks now. The chances of me managing to drop 2.5 lbs between now and Monday are, I would say, slim to none right now.
I guess all I can do is keep treating each day as a fresh start and just keep trying to get it right. I wish I could have my head back as it was in those first 3 weeks, when everything seemed so easy and logical and my determination was strong. The losses came steadily and I felt like every little thing I did contributed to them, earnt me a tiny bit more. Now I feel more like I'm just trying to stay in the same place - like the treadmill has sped up so instead of moving forward now I just walk to stay still.
I keep thinking that if I can just break 2 stones then I'll finally feel like I've achieved something, but I wonder if I will. Or will it be like breaking into the 15's and then 14's - instead of feeling elated that I'd achieved something, it was like I just ticked the box and then looked straight to the next thing on the list to achieve, with little or no satisfaction or acknowledgement of what I'd managed so far.
I think maybe I need to spend the rest of this week focusing on what I have achieved, not what I haven't. Give myself a pat on the back, so to speak, and think of someway to reward myself rather than twisting myself in knots trying to get something that's still a little bit out of my reach. So I hereby promise faithfully to stop beating myself up for the rest of the week.
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