Friday, 3 April 2009

Thoughts swirling round in my head

I've had so many thoughts rushing round my head the last couple of days ... but of course now I can't pinpoint any of them to put down for prosperity. Bloody typical!

Firstly: a little promise to myself. I'm going out for dinner tomorrow night, and I want to make sure I decide on my menu choices before I leave the house so that I'm prepared.
Secondly: another little promise - I'd like to do some exercise tomorrow, and preferably some on Sunday as well. I'm feeling really lardy this week, as work has got in the way of exercise, so I want to do a bit of catching up.

Actually, although I say I'm feeling lardy, I had an upbeat day yesterday, a "thin day" if you like, when I really felt like I was making some progress. Never thought I'd be so proud to be slobbing round the flat in a pair of old jogging bottoms - except that these were the bottoms I used to wear to fencing when I was at uni over 6 years ago, and since they're woven ones, rather than stretchy, they can't lie. I must actually be getting smaller.

By comparison, I feel like I'm having a "fat day" today. The jeans I put on this morning, weren't as loose as I thought they would be, and I'm just generally feeling yuck. Most of the yuckness is down to eating Chinese food out last night, I think. I'm sure it's the MSG they put in, but it leaves my stomach feeling really sour the next day - really not good. I was very well behaved at dinner though - had chow mein and some soup, and didn't actually get round to finishing either. I also made sure to stay well away from the bowl of prawn crackers in the middle of the table, until the boys had demolished pretty much all of them. Then just stole the last two out of the bowl, when the temptation had past.

All in all, I'm ahead on points this week, which is good, as I shall need them tomorrow for dinner out. Again. I sometimes find it hard to believe that I can be saving points, when I feel so full. And I really do feel full. I do try very hard to make sure I'm realistic with my pointing, so I don't end up cheating myself, but it's hard to believe that I actually had to take a treat size dairy milk out the cuoboard after dinner, just to make sure I came within 4 points of my daily allowance. Crazy. And back to the insecure feelings that it's too easy and won't work. It's funny how we go so quickly from feeling good about ourselves to bad.

Actually, right now, I'm feeling heinously guilty, and it's not even about food. I'm actually feeling guilty because I ended up back at Cribb's Causeway today, to go and get my new UGG boots, and I can't seem to bloody well stop shopping at the moment. It's like some dreadful compulsion to buy, buy, buy. And then the compulsion to feel guilty afterwards! I shouldn't even feel too guilty about today as the boots were bought with vouchers from work, and I realised afterwards that the amount of money I'm owed from friends for buying various b'day presents pretty much covers the rest, but it's a habit that's so ingrained I can't shake it!

So anyway - I'm now in posession of a gorgeous new pair of tall UGG boots in Chestnut, 3 tops from Gap which will all be suitable for work (all in the sale too) and a bright yellow hoodie from Animal that cheers me up just looking at it! Additionally, I saw a pair of flat, long grey boots in Faith I liked, and in the sale, but they only had 6's. Had a peak online when I got home and eventually found them - reduced by half as much again and only in my size, so I snapped them up. And finally, my new cleated shoes for spinning have arrived. A luxury perhaps, but since I spin at least once a week, I'd really like my feet to be comfortable whilst I do it!

Suppose I'd better do a bit of tidying if I hope to get any of this lot put away!!

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