Thursday, 9 April 2009

Let them eat cake!


Mmmmmm - lovely cake!


To cake or not to cake - that is the question! And one I had to ask myself earlier today as this morning's presentation of birthday cake was made to the office.
The stupid thing is I just had to go and look over the partition to see what was on offer even though I didn't actually want any in the slightest - especially as I was at that precise moment in time munching a deliciously sweet satsuma (and no, I'm not being sarcastic, it just happened to be one of those really nice ones that reaffirm your belief in fruit).
But oh no, once I'd looked I got that evil little gleam in my eye that bodes no good - call it cake lust if you will. So there goes my complete virtuousness for the day. I did redeem my moment of weakness though by taking the smallest slice possible, which is the attitude I now take with chocolate. Treat-size cake, if you will.
However, I'm still on track for food for the rest of the day, despite the cake, and as I'm taking dinner with me down to Bristol tonight so we can do a quick change while we eat, before heading out, I've checked out the points values of supermarket pizza's and I've got enough left to cover my half plus some zero point salad on the side. Then after the traditional amount of girly faffing in front of the mirror and prancing up and down asking each other "does this look alright" we'll jump in a cab and head into town.
My drinks will have to come out of my saved points tonight, but since I have over 9 points saved and I only ever drink vodka and slimline tonic these days, I'm likely to be comatose before I run out of points! Note - this probably wouldn't have been the case pre-WW's, but these days I'm somewhat out-of-practice in the art of drinking. No doubt my liver is quietly thanking me for the break.
I'm also counting on the bonus points from the dancing!
On a different note, I'm having some confusion about clothing sizes today. As I think I might have mentioned yesterday my clothes all seem to have got a bit looser again. Which means that the pair of trousers I'm wearing for work today could probably be removed with a bit of a wriggle and no need to open the buttons or zip. In fact, I realised this morning as I pulled my trousers on that I hadn't actually bothered to undo the zip at all - as I was trying to do it up.

Which is all very well, but I can't wrap my head around the fact that I might be ready to drop a clothing size soon. Somehow in my head, my clothes have stretched, or the sizes have got bigger, and there's a great big yawning gulf between the 18's I wear now and what I think a 16 measures. Possibly this is because I don't think I've ever actually needed to go and get a 16 because the 18 was too big. It's all unknown territory from here.
When I was younger I was quite a bit lighter than I am now, but never a small girl - I think the first time I ever remember being weighed I was about 12 stone, and that would have been in 5th form, so when I was about 15 or 16 years old. But, for as long as I can remember, I have always been a size 18. I think I have owned about 2 pairs of 16's in my life, but seem to remember that that was purely because there wasn't an 18 available and I somehow managed to squeeze into the size below.
What I've never done is bought a 16 purely because it was the size I needed (and I think this is why I'm convinced that sizes have got bigger over the last decade, as I've been up to 5 stone heavier and still been wearing 18's, although occasionally interspersed with 20's when I got to the heavier end of the spectrum), so I can honestly say that I've never really been smaller than a small 18 at the most. Therefore, since I'm still a couple of stones off the lightest point I remember being at, I don't see how I can be physically a smaller size.
And I think that's the source of my confusion. Because as much as these trousers now look baggy, I still don't think that a 16 is going to fit me and therefore I don't want to try because I don't want to see how far off I still am.
Suppose I'm going to have to bite the bullet sometime, but I don't think I'm quite ready for it yet.
Does that make any kind of sense at all?
Yeesh - enough of the rambling already! I'm just going to go and burn a few more calories on the dancefloor tonight. This dancing queen will be strutting her stuff!

1 comment:

Lorr74 said...

Boogie your way into a 16, you can do it! have a great night x