I vant ... I vant ... I VISCOUNT!!

... or any chocolate really.

(Apologies for any readers not familiar with the highly dubious adverts for Viscount chocolate biscuits - the title will make no sense to you guys!)

Today's post will mostly focus on emotional eating, and particularly stress-eating. I'm having a pretty heinous day at work. Yesterday's first day back lulled me into a false sense of security that all hell hadn't broken loose in my absence, and by about 3pm yesterday it was clear that it had, in fact, done so. And continues to do so.

In the old days, this would have meant comfort eating sugary things to try and take the edge of the tension I'm feeling. Of course, at the time I didn't know that that was what I was doing, I just did it without thinking. And pretty much without tasting it either.

Now it's different. The old me still wants the sugar blanket to comfort me; the more aware me doesn't want to crack and ruin my eating. I'm like a little push-me-pull-you of warring factions - pro-sugar and against.

I know if I buy the chocolate, I won't enjoy it properly, because I'll still be busy being stressed out, and won't have time to stop and savour it. It'll be chewed up and swallowed down before I've noticed it. So I haven't had it yet.

I keep thinking why not wait til the stress is past then reward yourself with a controlled, considered portion that you'll enjoy. Then I think but then the stress will be gone anyway, so why ruin the day's points with stuff you don't need.

Arrrrrghh - why do I have to think about stuff so much!

In the alternative, non-chocolate-related universe, it should be running club tonight, but it's been absolutely pissing down all day here. They'll be running anyway - do I go?? It'll be more like bog-running than anything else, but I'm loathe to miss another week when I could get started. What's a little mud, eh?

Thanks to Kate for her advice yesterday - I normally try and breath slow and deep when I'm running - one exhale for every left / right stride and then one inhale the same, but come to think of it, I noticed the tightness when we'd just finished all the uphills at the beginning of the run and then a short steep descent, so it's entirely possible that my breathing was a bit funny after that - I shall focus on it tonight and work out what I'm doing exactly.

Didn't make swimming last night, as I was still working from home at quarter to midnight .... boo. Other than that, food's all ok and it's a relatively unexciting week so far.