Not such good news

Hi guys,

I'm feeling really down. I've been to the doc's - in fact I got overtaken by a doddery old pensioner on the way in to the surgery, who asked if I was alright and did I need a hand. I've reached a new low. The doc checked me out (amidst me nearly bursting into tears again whilst I talked her through it all) and has diagnosed something called trochanteric bursitis.

It basically means that the fluid sack that everybody has on the outside of their hip bone has become really sore and inflamed, and that's what's causing so much pain. So I'm back in bed again. I'm not kidding, I wasn't sure whether I was going to be able to walk the distance from the doc's surgery, to the pharmacy across the road, and then back to my car. It hurts. So. Goddamn. Much.

All I can do for it is take anti-imflammatories (cue extra-strength ibuprofen) and keep my weight off it. A hot-water bottle helps a bit, and I've got a referral for physio. Sadly the physio centre is closed today so I'm going to have to wait til Monday to even find out when I can get an appointment.

I also got a bollocking for driving after taking a dose of Diazepam this morning for my back. Apparently the warning on the box saying "this may make you feel drowsy - don't drive or operate heavy machinery if it does", actually translates as "don't drive. Full stop. You're uninsurable if you do". Who knew?

I feel like a total freak. I literally cannot stand up straight, I can only hunch over, and walking is practically impossible. In fact every movement seems to jar it, and putting weight on my leg hurts every-which-way. It's a nightmare. Sitting's difficult - lying down is about the only thing I can do, and even most positions of that hurt.

I have a huge (and probably irrational, but I can't help it) fear that this isn't going to get better and I'm going to end up looking like one of those little old ladies whose back is hunched over permanently at a 90 degree angle and they can only look at the ground. Except I won't even be old.

Sorry - I'm feeling massively sorry for myself. And everything is such a huge effort. I'm living on my own, so I've got no-one to get stuff for me - there's no danger of me over-eating in this state - getting to the kitchen is a major mission and I can't carry much stuff as I need one hand to prop myself up on the wall. And don't even talk about going to the bathroom - extra hard mission.

So, I guess I can report that my eating's fine. As expected, the scales stabilised slightly after yesterday's dip, so I'm about 1.5lbs down for the week at the moment. Exercise is dead in the water though. Doc said that once I'm on my feet again (whenever the hell that is), I can maybe swim, but no weight-bearing exercise for a bit, other than gentle walking. No running. No spinning. No combat. God knows what this means for the gym challenge.

Yep - I'm miserable.